Counterbalance
by Pangolin Pirate
Summary: This was dangerous; for him, for her, and for the outcome of this war. She threatened everything he had worked for, what he had built for himself… after all that was sacrificed to bring him to where he was today. This wasn't the time for distractions; and Rey was a big distraction. (Reylo, dark themes, adult content, IC development.)
1. Acquisition

CHAPTER ONE - ACQUISITION

* * *

In the glow of the holo projector Kylo was silent, concealed by his helmet.

"The Jakku girl, Rey." The informant began, licking his bottom lip and shifting his feet, "...she has been separated from the Jedi Master."

A tremor of excitement passed down Kylo's spine. _'Finally.'_

"The Resistance has placed her in command of a small freighter carrying medical supplies to the Anoat Sector, Allyuen."

"Do you posses the flight details?" Kylo asked flatly. His deep timbre of a voice sounding disinterested as it filtered through his helm.

"Yes, I do, Sir. I'll send them to you now." The man inserted a small disk in his communicator. A star map temporarily replaced the image of the informant, and Kylo drank the sight in, already savoring the taste of his victory.

'It's too easy, too foolish of my old master to part her company so soon.' He thought, with a rise of uncertainty. She couldn't get the better of him this time, it would undo everything he had accomplished; so he studied the map carefully.

The informant continued to speak in his anxiousness, "The Resistance is desperate-"

"You are certain that the girl will be aboard..." Kylo cut off, his tone venomous, "I would hate to be disappointed."

Kylo heard the man swallow uncomfortably. "I assure you my information is accurate in every detail. I've been tasked with co-piloting the craft."

Kylo considered the man and after a short time perceived no lie in his words.

"I will inform Supreme Leader Snoke of your efforts. Await further orders." Kylo Ren ended the transmission.

He made for the senior bridge lieutenant who stood across from him supervising the graveyard crew. The lieutenant stood to attention at his approach and acknowledged him with a questioning "Sir."

"You have control of the bridge," He said. "Do not contact me."

"Yes, Sir." The lieutenant's relief was palpable as he left the bridge.

Kylo's gait was long and purposeful as excitement flooded through him. Snoke would forgive him with the retrieval of the Scavenger, but mostly he was relieved that he would see her again. 'You won't escape me this time.' he thought, drowning out the clang of his boots against the metal grating through the corridors leading to the communication room. This information would lead to her capture, he was sure.

He thought happily about how infuriated General Hux would be in the morning after finding that his spy had failed and that Kylo's had succeeded. After a short while Kylo repressed his feelings of triumph. That would be for later. Now was the time for composure. As he came upon the entrance of the communication room a guard tipped his head respectfully and turned to open the door. Without acknowledging the trooper Kylo swept into the long dark room and promptly knelt before a looming black platform. The door slid closed behind him, encapsulating him in darkness.

Kylo Ren spoke confidently into the emptiness. "My apologies for the interruption at the late hour, Supreme Leader. I have news. Regarding the Jakku girl."

Seconds crept by until silently a blue goliath materialized on the platform.

Snoke was old, and sat bent on a backless and unadorned throne, looming over Kylo Ren in the darkness. Supreme Leader Snoke was scarred and disfigured about the face, skin stretched taut against the planes of his skull, severe eyes loomed out of hooded sockets and his mouth was pulled tight in contemplation.

When he spoke it was slow. His voice deep and ominous. "What news do you bring me, my knight?" Snoke's hologram gestured for Kylo to stand.

Getting smoothly to his feet, Kylo Ren continued. "Moments ago I received intelligence that the girl has been separated from Skywalker." He gave a short pause before continuing, "She is due to captain a freighter to the Outer Rim carrying medical aid to Allyuen."

"You are sure." Snoke pressed, tightening his hold on his throne.

"I am confident that the information is accurate."

"This is a pleasing turn of events. You must go collect her," Snoke mused, "She has only begun her training with Skywalker," The name rolled off of his tongue with distaste. He took a breath. "...she may still be seduced by the Dark Side of the Force."

"I will do as you command, Master." Kylo agreed softly.

"You will… but you are distracted." Snoke leaned down toward Kylo to look better at him, "Perhaps you are unprepared for this task."

Kylo lifted his head to his Master. "The girl has a strong hold on my mind." Kylo confessed. Indeed, the scavenger from Jakku had been an oddity that his mind chased intermediately throughout his adult life. He hadn't been prepared for meeting her, as adversries or ever at all. The feeling of being thrown from her mind haunted him, and the ghost of her light hadn't faded. He could feel her tugging at his consciousness...even in this moment. "When we met, I felt the power of her Light waver my conviction." He was wrought with shame and disgust with himself. "But after receiving your wise guidance, I will not fail."

"She is unusually strong, I have felt her in the Force as well." Quiet stretched for a moment as Snoke touched his fingertips together and pressed them to his lips in thought. "Should you fail to retain her again, I fear it will be the end of you." Snoke paused to allow the weight of his words to settle on Kylo. "If you should succeed, she will become a powerful ally... potentially become more to you, if you find her agreeable."

Kylo Ren remained silent, but his back straightened in his unease as adrenaline pumped wildly through him. He was transparent in his feelings for the girl before his master.

"I know you do." Snoke chuckled darkly. "I may be old, but I am not blind. Remember the words passed to you. Through passion,..."

"I gain strength." Kylo finished quickly. "I remember them well."

"Good. Turn the passion you feel so strongly for the girl into your strength." Snoke advised. "Once you have subdued her, you will bring her to me and we will see what is to be done."

"Yes, Master." Kylo uttered obediently.

"Make the arrangements necessary for her capture. I trust that the young lady from Jakku will become your sole project for the intervening months. Kylo Ren, I don't care how it is done… but she will be drawn over to our way of seeing things." Snoke's final words were dark.

"Yes, Supreme Leader."

"If she resists your efforts, destroy her as you did your father. However tempting, I have no time for lost causes."

Kylo bowed his head. "I understand."

The hologram flickered and was gone.

He turned and left the room, absently contemplating what should be done as his feet carried him away. A squad of Stormtroopers marched past him, giving him a wide berth and a few droids rolled and walked past him in the opposite direction. Before he realized where he was headed he found himself standing in front of his personal quarters. He pressed an ungloved hand to a panel to the right of the door. It slid open to admit him and closed quietly on his heals. He released his helmet and placed it gently in it's resting place. Next he stepped out of his boots and removed his cowl robe and belt before he sunk onto his bed. Kylo closed his eyes and allowed his mind to revolve around Rey.

The girl he had seen so often in his mind, the one who had for so long sat amidst the burning dunes of Jakku, her image began to filter through his mind's eye, blurry at first but then slowly focusing. He could recall every freckle on her face and the exact color of her eyes. He could see the defiant set of her brows and the slope of her lips. The image of her began to morph into motion and she came to life.

Her chin was held high as she looked longingly toward the sky. It had been months now that she had given up on waiting for a long forgotten family that would never come. The day she gave up on them was the day he had begun to see her clearly, due to her sadness he thought. That day she had also become aware of the brilliant light that shone through her, she was no longer singularly occupied with her deep loneliness, and she had became stronger. Tonight, as she looked into the stars he knew she was thinking of him. He could feel her hate and something less recognizable for him. He reached out and traced his bare hand across the scar she had given him. It made him shiver...and she shivered too, she could feel him through the Force. She looked right at him, as though for the first time she could see him clearly. She was crying, he saw. Instinct told him to reach out for her but he restrained the urge and gradually drew away. Kylo thought, not for the first time, that her loneliness was identical to his own.

When the scavenger arrived he would be ready for her.

He slid from his bed and sat alone in his darkened personal quarters allowing the lulling hum of the Finalizer to blanket his senses. Relief played across his strong asymmetrical features and he breathed deeply in the cool air. He looked up at the built-in hutch across from him. What little remained of his Grandfather rested upon a stone expanse horribly twisted and melted, a macabre display.

He reflected on his plan for the Jakku scavenger. The easing of their animosity would take time, yet he felt confident that she would yield to him. There was a connection between them that he'd never experienced before. He was certain she had become more refined in the time that had passed; he'd felt her ghostly presence strengthen slowly since their last meeting. She had begun her formal training as a Jedi he knew. He had also been strengthening his hold on the Force, refining his saber techniques and other abilities with his master. He was nearing the end of his own training.

Kylo slid the pad of his finger across his face along the unfortunate scar again. She wouldn't be so lucky this time. Kylo's mind wouldn't be caught off guard again, and he had fully healed from the wound inflicted by the Wookie. Kylo resigned himself to meditate on the matter of her rehabilitation further. He sank to his knees before his Grandfather's remains and repeated the doctrine that had been passed down to him.

"Peace is a lie, there is only passion.

Through passion, I gain strength.

Through strength, I gain power.

Through power, I gain victory.

Through victory, my chains are broken.

The Force shall free me."

The words echoed off the walls, off the furnishings and sparse decor. A hollowing silence followed. Kylo took a shaking breath as he looked fretfully into the eyes that had once belonged to Darth Vader. "I will not fail." He swore adamantly.

~)O(~

Shortly after arriving on Ahch-To Rey had confided to Luke her link with Kylo Ren; and was surprised when he smiled knowingly. "This link is not unusual, Rey. Once you have become close to another Force Sensitive being, you retain a part of them, and they, a part of you."

She felt sick, contaminated, when he told her this. "Master Skywalker, that monster and I-"

"Ben."

She was taken aback, "What?"

"My nephew's name is Ben. Monster, you call him...and monster he may become, but there is still light in him."

"I didn't see any light in him when he murdered his father." Rey said, her anger rising.

Luke's features grew sad and there was a long moment before he spoke. "He has concealed it well."

"How can you know there is any light left if he buries it?"

"I've known Ben since he was a young child." Skywalker said, a ghost of nostalgia played in his tone. "You come to know people, given time. I trained Ben in the ways of the Force. I would be lying if I told you he didn't have darkness in him, even then; but he also had a light nearly as blinding as your own… You will become accustomed to him, even able to rebuff him in time. But a day may come where you are thankful for this link." His words from months ago echoed every night in her dreams, despite Skywalker's warning, Rey wished she had learned to shed the touch of Kylo Ren's mind before leaving Ahch-To; but time hadn't allowed it.

The Resistance needed her.

A repetitive beep pulled her from her light dozing. It was the proximity sensor. They weren't due to arrive at the rendezvous coordinates for another day and the ship that triggered the sensor was much too large to be the Resistance Aide Crew. The ship was coming out of hyperspace.

"Jeshi! Wake the crew and prepare for warp!" Rey shouted, shaking the dozing co-pilot awake.

"What?" He asked, confused.

"We need to make a jump, there's a ship exiting hyperspace." Rey explained quickly as she punched coordinates into the computer and flipped the hyperdrive priming switches franticly.

Jeshi looked around in a panic at the levers and controls of the cockpit, eyes darting for a switch. He found the comm switch and quickly flipped it. The intercom came to life and his voice rang through the ship. "All hands to your stations! This is not a drill! Prepare for jump to hyperspace." He repeated the alarm three times.

A huge Capital Ship, emblazoned with the Polygonal crest of the First Order, exited hyperspace to their starboard side. The force of their entry rocked the small freighter. Rey tore to the computer to check the coordinate calculations for the jump to lightspeed. They checked out. She slammed her palm against the primed hyperdrive.

Nothing happened.

"Our hyperdrive is inoperative!" She said, terror flooded her veins.

As she said this, the freighter shuddered and came to a halt. They had them in a tractor beam. Rey reached for her lightsaber and yelled to Jeshi. "Get non-essential crew to the escape pods and send a distress signal. We're being boarded."

Jeshi was pale and unresponsive. "Jeshi!" Rey shook him. He looked up at her sluggishly. "Abandon ship, send the order to man escape pods."

He nodded, then spun around to the console to make the announcement. Rey was flipping off power to unnecessary systems and powering down. She wouldn't let them pull the freighter in without a good fight.

"Rey, they've jammed our communications. I can't send the distress signal."

"Damn it!" Familiar cold tendrils drifted over her consciousness. _'Oh no you don't.'_ Rey thought bitterly. _'You won't have me this easily.'_ She fought the sensation of Kylo's mind from her senses.

"Make the announcement, Jeshi. I'm going to the docking bay. I'll buy the crew some time."

Rey didn't wait for his response, she ran from the cockpit and to the docking bay. She wasn't going to let them take the ship without a fight. Jeshi's voice rang out through the ship. 'Non-essential crew to escape pods, fighters to docking bay. We are being boarded.'

"How did they know we were here?" She gasped, flying down the corridors and past fleeing crew. The odds of this encounter were astronomical. _'It was me. He knew because he saw it in my mind.'_ The thought came unbidden and she felt ill. _'Is that possible?'_

She was quickly joined in her run to the docking bay by other Resistance fighters, all armed with blasters and pulling on bits of armor and helmets as they ran. "What's happened?" A voice called from behind.

Rey forgot her internal monologue, she needed to take care of her crew. "We've been compromised, the First Order found us." Rey answered.

The handful of Resistance fighters dashed down the final corridor to the docking bay and began piling the medical crates to act as cover. Rey quickly disabled the automatic docking protocols and disengaged the airlock doors. They would have to blast their way in.

It wasn't long after they piled the crates in their tactical favor that a metallic clunk echoed, announcing the successful linkage of their ship to the boarding party.

Rey's heart was racing. _'This was supposed to be a low-risk mission, if I'm responsible for this…'_ She couldn't finish that thought.

As the sound of blaster fire issued from the exterior of the airlock and the cold tendrils of Kylo's mind pressed against her again, she could feel him tightening his grip on her mind. "Not today." She said, throwing his presence from her once more...it had been harder this time. She ignited her lightsaber and stepped out in front of her Resistance fighters, determined to protect them. There was a series of more blaster fire and a clank before the doors flew open and a stream of Stormtroopers spilled out into the corridor.

Rey began to deflect their blaster fire but there was soon so much that she was overwhelmed and was forced to duck back to cover with her fighters. Her crew was green; the Resistance hadn't thought they would need seasoned crew for a simple medical aide run. Two of the fighters who had joined her at the docking bay both took shots to the chest and lay motionless on the floor. None of these people were a match for a squad of Stormtroopers in full armor. She was quickly overpowered by their numbers, and three more of her crew had joined the bodies on the floor.

The Stormtroopers were slowly pushing them back down the corridor despite her best effort. She ordered a man on her right to pull the bodies away. He nodded as Rey stepped over a limp body belonging to her fallen crew. She sensed that she wasn't dead. The realization gave her a breath of relief that quickly turned to dread. All semblance of calm disappeared as she realized that they had come for her.

He was behind this. _'Is he on that ship?'_ She wondered as she parried blaster fire and sent a large medical crate flying toward the invading Stormtroopers. The crate smashed three of the men against the far wall where they lay motionless. More Stormtroopers poured into the bay. Rey turned her head to asses her crew. They were nearly beaten. She couldn't save them at this rate.

"Retreat!" She shouted to her two remaining crew members. She threw her left hand up and using the Force pushed the Stormtroopers off their feet and back several feet. The troopers recovered quickly and regained their ground. 'Maybe I can get on an escape pod and detonate the ship?' she thought wildly. "Retreat!" She yelled again, "To the pods!" Rey threw the troopers back once more and as they lay with the wind knocked from them, Rey and her crew ran headlong down the next corridor to a juncture, As they turned the corner the fighter on her right tripped over the blast door seal. "Keep going!" Rey yelled at the other fighter, who had halted his run. "I've got him." she said as she backtracked and assisted her comrade. However, as she knelt to pull him to his feet a stray blast took her square in the shoulder, knocking her back. Everything went momentarily black.

Rey was vaguely aware of his dark hold on her, he had regained a connection with her and she was unable to fight him off completely. Her head rang and thudded terribly. A tall chrome-clad trooper lifted her from the floor and pressed cuffs around her wrists. Her lightsaber was pulled from her loose grip.

Despite the pounding in her head, she fought to keep a hold on her mind, she wouldn't let him make her unconscious as he had the first time. She grew more aware of her surroundings as his hold loosened. She was being walked from the corridor to the docking bay. Confusion ricocheted through her mind. _'I'm going the wrong way.'_ she thought dumbly. _'What are they doing?'_ she thought, alarmed when she saw the limp bodies of her crew being thrown into an airlock enclosure.

"No!" She screamed, throwing Kylo completely from her mind. Terrible clarity dawned on her. Rey scrambled and clawed at the figure who restrained her, but was forced to watch helplessly as her crew was jettisoned through the airlock before something hard collided with the back of her skull and darkness resumed.

...

A camera monitored her movements in the unfaltering dimness. Indistinct shadows cast across the metal floor, walls, and smoothed contours of the secured cell. In one corner a corroded faucet wept a trickle of water into a rounded basin. In the opposite corner a lidless toilet jutted from between alloy studs.

A singular trooper had visited her with food. When he turned to leave, she threw him forward with the Force and dashed from the cell. Disoriented as she was and with her head pounding, he quickly caught her. He threw her against the wall and slapped her so hard across the face that her world spun and she tasted blood. He dragged her back to the cell. The encounter wouldn't have affected her so deeply if it hadn't been for his parting words. "Your crew is dead, and you will be too if you try that again."

Since that incident her only stimulus had been a droid. It pushed gruel through a narrow slot in her cell door and retrieved her used trays. There was no way to be certain that it came at regular intervals and the hum of the engines droned endlessly and devoid of modulation which made time progress unnaturally. There wasn't a sure way of telling how long she'd been held on the vessel, but she guessed it had been some standard days now.

Rey's mind drifted back to Jakku. She thumbed absently at her split and swollen lip, a token of her first night here. The thought of sunlight on her face made her shiver and pull the thin blanket more tightly around herself and consider again what would be done with her.

They would deliver her presently to the First Order, she knew, directly into the waiting hands of Supreme Leader Snoke. Rey shuddered. No, it wouldn't be Snoke that awaited her there. That introduction would be later if she was very unlucky. First she would be greeted by his Knights of Ren. Rey hoped she would be able to pull off another odd defying escape before she had the misfortune of meeting Snoke on his own terms. However if she was kept in a cell much like this aboard the Finalizer she had little hope.

Her trepidation swelled again at her memories on Starkiller Base. Waking restrained to his masked helmet. The sensation of her mind being broken. Feeling his astonishment as she returned the favor. Han run through by that wretched red excuse for a lightsaber. Herself and Finn fleeing from the exploding thermal oscillator compound. Being hunted like small game through the forest. Thrown against a tree, Finn injured and unconscious in the snow, and Kylo Ren looming over him trying to call his Grandfather's lightsaber to him from a snowdrift.

His disbelief and fury when it came to her outstretched hand instead.

They fought ruthlessly in the snow and Rey swallowed at the knowledge that had he been uninjured from Chewbacca's weapon, hadn't been bleeding out, she would have been struck down. She had been lucky and upon her escape from the crumbling base, among her relief and worry for her new friend, she sensed she had not completely escaped him.

The monster was still with her. She could feel the tendrils of his consciousness even now.

She needed to focus and remain calm, meditate, but it was proving much harder than it had been on Ahch-To. With master Skywalker she had been able to ignore the lingering feel of Kylo Ren within her mind, but here in space, in this cell, his presence threatened her. She could feel the pleasure and excitement that had radiated off him at the news of her capture and it only increased in intensity as her time here passed. Rey again fought to clear her mind. She grasped her fear and pushed it from her. She reminded herself forcefully that Kylo Ren was only a man, not altogether the monstrous nightmare she had built him up to be.

She sensed herself more powerful than him in the Force. However ferocious he was.

 _'Master Skywalker would be disappointed.'_ Rey thought callously. She adjusted her position, folding her bruised limbs into the correct meditative pose. She focused her thoughts to the hum of the ship. Deep rumbling and whirling encompassing her, coming as cotton to her eardrums. Straightening her spine and breathing in a shaky but deep breath, a calm washed over her. Closing her eyes she repeated the Jedi mantra, as Master Skywalker had taught her, within her mind to center herself in the Force.

 _'There is no emotion, there is peace._

 _There is no ignorance, there is knowledge._

 _There is no passion, there is serenity._

 _There is no chaos, there is harmony._

 _There is no death, there is the Force.'_

Rey could feel the light caress of the Force. She became aware of how it wound itself around her. Through her. It was strong and resonated in her core. Rey reached out for Master Skywalker, searching again for the familiarity of him within the unfathomable vastness of the Universe. She had tried to reach him, to reach anyone during her time here. It would seem she was thwarted, again. No one answered. Master Skywalker was a phantom to her now.

Rey was disappointed with herself. Had the months of training been for nothing?

 _'Am I worthy?'_

With that thought she was seized by a conviction hitherto unknown to her. She wouldn't fail. Not this time.

The strain of her search was becoming visible. Sweat clung to her brow and her veins bulged with each pulse.

Something within her mind tore painfully and a gaping chasm opening before her. There was so much more here than she had ever experienced. It was overwhelming. The chasm threatened to pull her to oblivion but also to disappear with a breath. Rey became aware of a familiar presence in this place. It was him. And he felt her too. Master Skywalker's mind came crashing around her. She could feel the restrained worry and the utter relief flow from him. Life swam back into her. Her breath came easily now.

 _He spoke lightly. "We were beginning to worry."_

 _Rey teemed with information. Thrusting her memories toward him through the void, only to withdraw herself, eyes stinging and brimming with tears._

 _Luke considered what she had shown him. His blue eyes calculating. Then he spoke to her._

 _"Keep heart my padawan, all is not lost. You must guard your feelings of fear, hate, and guilt closely. They make you vulnerable to the Dark Side. The death of your crew does not lay with you and to allow their sacrifice to cloud your judgment would not honor them."_

 _"Yes, Master. There is no emotion, there is peace." Rey choked out. Desperately trying to erase her fear and swallow her guilt._

 _Skywalker's eyes warmed to her for a moment before, "I am happy to see you unharmed, though I find you are under prepared, despite our efforts, for the path that now lies ahead." He sighed heavily. "They will bring you to the Knights of Ren, they will take you to Snoke. He will attempt to sway you to the Dark Side. You must remain valuable to them without conceding."_

 _Rey trembled at the thought._

 _"You are strong with the Force, stronger than you believe." Skywalker insisted. "You must vigilantly search for a weakness. Exploit any weakness shown to you by the First Order. This may be a blessing in disguise."_

 _"Master, I was unable to escape capture. I couldn't save my crew. I'm unarmed. How can I to defeat them? To escape?"_

 _"Do not escape." The words struck her._

 _"Master?"_

 _"You would do well to play into whatever they have planned for you. For the time being. You are not yet trained, you can't hope to overcome them alone. The Resistance will come for you." He paused. "When we found the remains of your freighter…" He was considering his next words._

 _"When you found my freighter?" She prompted, momentarily distracted from her moral dilemma._

 _"Your capture wasn't an anomaly." He frowned deeply, and Rey waited for more. "There is no accounting for the precision of the attack, the timing, to make us believe they happened upon you by chance. There is ample evidence pointing to a spy aboard your ship. Your flight plans were divulged to the First Order. Along with your compliment and supplies. " Rey was quiet._

 _"I do recall a man saying we would rendezvous with the Finalizer." Rey said, hopefully._

 _"It's a place to start. The General and I will discuss what needs to be done. We can't afford another of my Padawan's to be seduced by the Dark Side."_

 _Rey felt hurt, a pulling sensation. Did he not trust her?_

 _Luke must have felt her distress. "My worry is not a reflection of you, Rey, but of our adversaries. What awaits you in the following days will be dark."_

 _"Master?"_

 _"Ben Solo. He is capable of swaying you from the Light...if you do not guard yourself from him. He is efficient, purposeful, and convincing...unrefined perhaps, but strong. No doubt Snoke has kept him at arm's length in his tutelage as to avoid creating a formidable adversary. The Dark Side is shrouded to me. However I sense that Snoke has reconsidered the danger you pose to him and the First Order...and has advanced Ben's training after the event's on Starkiller Base. You may not be walking into the clutches of an apprentice but a fully realized Sith Lord."_

 _Another pull. But not of unease at her master's words._

 _Rey felt odd. It hadn't come from Master Skywalker. Her concentration was faltering and Skywalker had noticed the lapse._

 _"What distracts you?"_

 _"I feel…" Rey searched for the word._

 _Luke became troubled._

 _"You must withdraw from the Force. You need to be aware of your immediate surroundings. May the Force be with you."_

The connection was severed and he was gone.

Her surroundings came crashing down on her. The constant hum of the engines was gone. The ship had stopped. She stayed folded on her cot, centering herself. If they arrived at the rendezvous point she would soon be handed off to Kylo Ren and she must be calm as Master Skywalker had instructed. It was difficult now, she could feel him, the dark awareness that in recent months had only been like smoke had suddenly thickened to water. He threatened to drown her.

Silence stretched for what felt like hours.

There were footsteps echoing down the corridor beyond her cell. It certainly wasn't the droid she had become accustomed to. Rey opened her eyes. She considered standing but thought better of it. She didn't want to be man-handled the way she had been before. She would cooperate and pose no threat when her cell opened. So she stayed as she was, sitting crossed legged with her palms cupped in one another resting gently on her lap. Rey forced the tension from her neck and back. She repeated the Jedi mantra in her mind again. The footsteps were louder now. Heavy boots falling one after the other, a symphony, coming towards her.

Rey breathed deeply. In. Out. In again. The progression had paused just outside her door. There was the sound of beeping, a code being pressed into a panel. A sharp tone of acceptance. An audible click and hiss from the door as it unlocked.

The cell door withdrew into the wall with a whoosh. A purple film stretched across the new opening and behind the film, which was certainly a shield, was a handful of Stormtroopers lead by the chrome one that had carried her off her destroyed freighter.

"The prisoner will stand." The chrome one ordered. It was a woman's voice, authoritative and cold and distorted through the filter of her helmet.

Rey stood slowly and blinked at her company not daring to speak.

"You will walk five paces and turn around." The armored woman instructed.

Not liking the order at all but determined not to get shot, Rey walked five paces forward and paused. She kept a level stare at the troopers.

Apparently not amused, the lead Stormtrooper lifted her blaster threateningly. "Turn around with your arms behind your back." It was firm and filled with a promise to hurt her badly if she didn't comply promptly.

Rey did as she was ordered and turned around, placing her arms behind her back and grasping her hands together while trying to maintain some dignity.

There was more beeping behind her and a crackle as the shield faded. Stormtroopers entered her cell and one grasped her hands and placed restraints on her wrists. They gave a firm tug to test that the restraints were secure. Two sets of white and black clad arms and hands clutched her by the shoulders and wrists and turned her around to face the exit. The chrome leader tilted her head down the corridor and held her blaster steady. "Forward march, prisoner."

~)o(~

The lambda-class shuttle received docking permission and was shortly held secure with the tractor beam. It was pulled smoothly into an empty hangar aboard the Finalizer. Where his lone black cloaked and helmeted figure served as the shuttle's welcome party.

As the shuttle's wings folded neatly upwards and the landing gear compressed under the weight of the craft Kylo could feel her so strongly. Her feelings had been unusually easy to asses since her capture, her dread and frustration washed over his senses like a tidal wave. The entry ramp slid gracefully away from the hull and touched the black substrate of the hanger. The engines were switched to auxiliary power and the loud thrum faded to a low hum. The lights switched off and a chrome-clad captain exited the shuttle, her cape swinging out behind her as she marched directly to attention before him.

"Sir, we await your orders." Captain Phasma clipped in professional brevity.

"I will escort your troopers and the prisoner to cell block twenty-one. From there you will relinquish your hold of the prisoner to me and return to your usual duties." Kylo informed the captain.

"Yes, sir." Captain Phasma gestured back to a trooper that had come to stand by the entry ramp. He nodded and disappeared into the shuttle. Kylo felt the scavenger's anxiety then. He sympathized with her, she hadn't sought to be caught in this power struggle between the First Order and the Resistance. It happened upon her by chance. He felt some pity for her, but immediately quashed it...pity was a weakness. He watched her being forcefully marched from the shuttle and decided she was undeserving of pity anyway. She kept her head held high despite the rags she had been forced to wear and the bruises that blossomed over her sun-kissed skin.

Although his stare was shielded from her she locked her eyes on him. Kylo was impressed with her outward composure. If he couldn't feel her mind he'd have been fooled. He pressed his mind against hers firmly. The time for gentle caresses had passed, he knew that if he wanted to shut her down quickly he needed to assert himself now. He shared his unyielding resolve to never underestimate her again.

She flinched under the sudden weight of his mind, and her gaze turned quickly from trepidation to hatred. _'Hatred is good.'_ he thought, _'I can work with that.'_ Kylo felt her begin to push back, trying to force him from her mind as she had done once before. He had learned that he couldn't give into his curiosity for her, and he redoubled his efforts. A useful memory shimmered brightly before him and he tore at it, forcing it to the forefront of her mind, the memory of her crew being jettisoned from the airlock. The memory was answered by a single tear which escaped her hazel eyes as she turned her face from his. Feeling that he had won their little battle of wills, he withdrew from her as the escorting party reached him.

"Lead on, Captain." Kylo instructed, as he stepped aside and joined the guard.

The scavenger was lead through a route with many twists and turns. She had taken to quickly glancing about with an air of determination that was easy to observe without his ability to read her feelings. Her eyes flitted this way and that, lingering on vents and narrow passageways as they progressed deeper into the ship. She was trying to memorize the route, he realized, and he was glad that he had expressly chosen a convoluted maze to get to their destination. Upon reaching cell block twenty-one, the prisoner watched as he ungloved his right hand and pressed his palm to the reader. The door flew wide after a beep and she was pushed forward into her new cell. Her eyes betrayed her surprise.

"This will do, Captain." As he spoke he slipped his fingers back into the black glove.

"Yes, Sir." The trooper replied.

"Leave her restrained," He corrected the trooper in a bored tone. "I'm not done with her."

"Of coarse." Phasma acquiesced. "Squadron, report to your posts." The Captain commanded. The Stormtroopers filed neatly out of the cell.

"I will call for you if the need arises." He said dismissively. " General Hux is on the bridge, report to him for your debriefing."

"Yes, Sir." The Captain snapped to attention, then turned neatly around and strode from the cell after her squad. The door clapped shut on her heals.

 _'Now, let's see how much you've grown'_ He thought.

When he dived into her mind she was hot against his consciousness. He found her lurking fear instantly and pressed against it. Then pain. The sensation sent her to her knees.


	2. Aberration

CHAPTER TWO - ABERRATION

* * *

Rey's heart fluttered frantically against her ribs. Her eyes widened and drank in her new surroundings aboard the Finalizer. She'd expected an interrogation chair, but there wasn't one. She was hesitant to describe this as a cell. It couldn't be described as extravagant, not by any stretch of the imagination, but it was far more agreeable than she could have possibly hoped.

Instead of a cot, there was a sleeping alcove and mat, with a folded thick blanket at its foot, and a plush pillow at the head. A single bench and simple table came seamlessly from the wall and joined the floor. A bulkhead doubled as a wall separating a simple refresher from the main room, Rey wasn't sure, but it seemed as though it had a sonic washer. 'This is unexpectedly generous.' she thought in confusion. In the short time she had taken in her new cage her attention was grabbed again by her captors.

"This will do, Captain." Kylo spoke from behind her.

"Uncuff the prisoner." The Captain, Rey now knew as Phasma, ordered.

"Yes, Sir." The harsh reply came from near her left ear.

"Leave her restrained," Kylo's deep voice punctured the air. "I'm not done with her yet."

"Of coarse. Squadron, report to your posts." Captain Phasma commanded, and obediently her men filed out of the cell.

"I will call for you if the need arises." Rey felt sick at the sound of his filtered voice. "General Hux awaits you on the bridge for your debriefing."

"Yes, Sir." Rey heard the click of the Captain's standard issued boots against the floor and her steps as she retreated from the cell. She flinched as the door snapped closed, sealing herself and the monster in.

Rey felt certain that her heartbeat was audible to him, perceptible even through his helmet, in the dense silence that now hung heavy in the air. She stood still, not ready to turn to face him. She would let him make the first move, so she braced herself. And not a moment too soon.

It felt as though she'd been plunged under water. Electricity tore down her spine and she collapsed.

 _Unbidden, images flashed across her mind._

 _The echoing thrum-whoosh of his crackling lightsaber bathed the snow with its hellish glow as he stalked toward her… The air was sucked from her lungs and she gasped while clutching feebly at her throat... Her crew swam before her, all with dead unseeing eyes looking up at her accusingly… He was before her, his hands were firm against her skull pushing his way into her synapses, dredging through her childhood and bringing her loneliness to the forefront of her mind._

Rey fought to regain her breath and throw him from her but the memories he tore from her made her fearful. Master Luke cautioned her against her fear and she clung to his words desperately while she fought to clear her mind. 'There is no passion, there is serenity' she reminded herself. She drew in a breath and tore the memories back from Kylo's grasp, and pushed them down safely away from his prying. Her lapse in concentration as she hid her childhood allowed him in further. It felt like ice was clawing at her brain.

She shook with each shallow gulp of air, and imagined her fear, anxiety, and hatred being expelled from her with each exhale. His grip on her slackened and the icy rake of his mind abated. She took the opportunity to lash out at him, driving her mind along his own leaving fire in her wake. If she had burned him, he didn't show any sign. Instead, a crackle of electricity surged down her spine which made her twist and arch her back in pain, leaving her shaking on the floor and unravel the fragile calm she had begun to knit around her consciousness.

Seconds of silence stretched into minutes as he probed deeper into her mind, it took all the strength she could muster to parry his advances, but she'd been successful at keeping her memories to herself.

Quite suddenly he was gone, he'd left by his own volition.

Her skin began to crawl in anticipation and her heart began to beat erratically.

She could sense the dark pressure of him pulsing around her as she fortified her mind. What sort of game was he playing?

 _Again Rey's mind churned, and as though to answer her unspoken question, his mind was clawing it's way back around her own transforming her fears into vivid reality in her mind. She felt her flesh being carved delicately from the muscle of her hand, exposing bone and tendon. She screamed and attempted to pull away but her wrists were bound. He loomed over her as she screamed, the crackle and glow of his lightsaber cast a haunting red light across his features. He ran the blade slowly over her mutilated flesh, cauterizing it. Through her screaming and the pain, his voice echoed in her mind. 'You need a teacher.' she shook her head and she felt a tear escape her. Kylo lifted his free gloved hand and cupped her face running his thumb across her cheek to sweep away her tear. The trum of his lightsaber beat against her eardrums and drowned out her thoughts._

 _"I'll never turn to the Dark Side!" She shouted._

 _His features contorted in disappointment and the hand that cradled her face now gripped tightly. She tried to turn her head away as he brought his face near to hers. "I can teach you the ways of the Force." He whispered, his cool breath washing across her hot skin._

 _She tried to pull away from his grasp but was unsuccessful. "Never. I'll nev-"_

 _His lips crashed down against her own and lingered, effectively silencing her. When he pulled away she gasped for air as her head spun. "I regret that you feel that way." He breathed...and as he held helpless he plunged his lightsaber through her; just as he had his Father._

Anger cascaded through her and she tore her mind from the dark vision. Rey scraped her fracturing composure together and forced a calm to rest on her mind once again. _'I must stay calm.'_

The minutes lengthened. His mind's weight transformed. The storm calmed and his touch felt akin to the cold lapping waves of Ahch-To. She felt curiosity peak in the mind enveloping her own. Frustrated, she buried the feel of cool water on her skin. _'I can't think of that place.'_ She scolded herself, and pushed Ahch-To from her thoughts.

The silent push and pull of their minds continued. It wasn't long before the exchange became bearable, however unsettling. Her heart had resumed its resting pace and his mind hadn't dove into her's forcing visions to play in her consciousness for well over a half hour.

He hadn't moved, not even to shift his weight, and was ever vigilant in guarding his emotions. The few times she'd attempted to follow his touch back to him she only found stone, nothing like she had seen before. All she could feel was his masked eyes boring into the back of her head. She was sure he was reading her like a schematic, sizing her up. She couldn't get a feel for what he was thinking, or feeling in this moment, only a general sense of concentration. She wanted desperately to lean away from him. To run. But she understood enough about his nature to remain still. Any sudden movement would excite him into a chase and there was nowhere for her to hide and nothing to defend herself with.

He was toying with her and she hated it.

Time rolled on. Neither individual giving or taking ground, no sound but her own measured intake and expulsion of air.

In an unguarded moment, she quickly opened her eyes. He'd shifted. She felt dread fill her completely in the span of one heartbeat. Still nothing happened. _Thump. Thump thump._ _'Is he coming closer or moving away?'_ Her heart picked up its tempo instantly. She couldn't bare having him to her back any longer. She twisted around and looked up at him. He had taken a step toward her, and was taking another. Rey stood quickly and backed away, but there wasn't far to go before she collided with the back wall of her cell.

"Don't touch me." She hissed. She sent the Force through her and hurtled it at him. He wasn't thrown back as the Stormtroopers were on her freighter. He merely skidded back a few centimeters.

He lifted his own hand and she froze. His mind's weight lifted from her entirely before he strode to her. Their Force signatures crackled between them.

"You still have much to learn." His voice sent a chill down her spine. He reached around her back and gripped her restraints. The cuffs deactivated and fell from her wrists. He turned his back to her and walked to the control pad. He pressed his hand to the panel and a sharp tone pierced the air. The cell door opened and Kylo Ren walked measuredly from the cell. _Thum thump. Thum thump._ The abrupt slam of the door rocked her. _Thum thump._

She released the breath she'd been holding and her knees shook violently, she swayed and allowed the artificial gravity to pull her to the floor once more.

~)o(~

Kylo waited outside the cell door and gazed into the security screen. The scavenger had collapsed and sat motionless in her cell.

He wrestled with his feelings, a large part of him was pleased with the effect he had on her. The power he held over her without lifting a single finger was intoxicating. He only needed to stroke her fears with his touch to make her spiral into visions of terror. There was also a grain of himself, which he was keen to ignore, that felt nauseated at what he had done.

He stood watching her pull herself together. She dragged her battered limbs off the floor and massaged her wrists. He was displeased with her current condition. He would remember to have words with Captain Phasma for mishandling her. The fault was not entirely her own, he knew, he'd hoped that with his own interference she would have come more quietly. But that had not been as effective as he planned.

Kylo looked on interestedly as the scavenger began to move about her cell. She touched the sleeping mat and folded blanket testing the texture against her palms. She moved onto the table and bench next, then the refresher. She stood in the bulkhead for awhile in thought. She was considering the sonic washer before she looked over her shoulder and scanned the walls and ceiling, eyes sliding quickly across every surface before her eyes met with the security camera. She watched it, judging its range of view with narrowed eyes. Kylo could feel a calm steal over her after a short time. She acknowledged him, sending him a firm shove with her mind. He enjoyed the sensation of her defiance as it sparked along his consciousness. She kept her eyes firm upon the camera, her contemptuous face glared out at him from the viewer before she turned away and disappeared behind the bulkhead.

 _'Yes, that's enough.'_ Kylo agreed. He had already unnerved her today, there was no need to antagonize her further by watching her. He'd established who was in control of whom and he would afford her some measure of privacy. With a press of a button he cut the visual feed and started back to his personal quarters five decks above. As he moved through the corridor he stopped a passing droid and instructed it to deliver fresh clothing and some food to the scavenger's cell. He wouldn't allow her to wear her filthy Resistance rags while aboard this ship; and he decided it could be her choice as to whether or not she'd like to starve.

In his usual fashion Kylo Ren skipped dining in the mess with the Officers… he would have a droid deliver his rations to his quarters.

Her presence was distracting. He felt a constant pull of an awareness of her. That was the point he had to remind himself. He was determined to desensitize himself to her and her to him. However, he was glad to be removed from the scavenger's immediate presence.

He desperately desired to discover what gets under her skin, assess her weaknesses and strengths. Test her limits... after today he had some apprehension about the prospects of convincing her he was deserving of her trust. He'd seen clearly what she thought of him… and he agreed distantly with her assessment. He had admittedly enjoyed seeing what she thought he might do with her. He considered the kiss she had imagined, before his lightsaber drove through her. He wasn't sure where that had come from… but she was right to worry about meeting her end in the same fashion as Han Solo. If she didn't cooperate.

He was so caught inside his own mind that General Hux managed to approach him without his notice until he came within two meters of him. Kylo slowed his pace to allow the General to fall into step by his side, but annoyance began to build in his chest with Hux's distraction from his thoughts.

"I take it congratulations are due." The General bit out with poorly disguised enmity. "The girl is in your custody."

"Thank you, General." Kylo replied slowly, and he looked over at the shorter man. "However, I sense that your deep desire to congratulate my success was not the reason you sought me out."

Hux cleared his throat nonchalantly and Kylo felt Hux's irritation swell. "Indeed, no." and he met Kylo's gaze. "Captain Phasma requested I relinquish this to you. She was in rather a hurry to see to her next assignment. It's neglect was assuredly a small oversight due to your haste as the prisoner switched hands." The General pulled a silver and black hilt from his belt with smug satisfaction. Kylo had been so involved with the girl that he had forgotten about this secondary prize.

He immediately willed his grandfather's lightsaber into his outstretched hand. A grimace pulled at the features of the General's pale face as the lightsaber left his gloved grip. He was sure the General was preparing a verbal sparring match that he had no intention of joining. He stopped suddenly and turned to face him. He could feel the General's dislike for him swirl hotly around himself and decided he should kill the impending unpleasant conversation before the General could birth it.

"My thanks again. Now, if you would excuse me General, there is business needing my immediate attention." His voice rang with undisguised insincerity.

"I'm sure." Hux drawled wholly unconvinced. His blue eyes flashed with rage beneath his stern red eyebrows as he turned on his heel and marched back down the corridor. Kylo continued on his way, his mood souring with every step, irritated that he owed the General some form of gratitude for collecting him from the destroyed base.

As he made his way into the lift that would bring him to the correct deck, his grip tightened around the lightsaber hilt and he savored the weight of it. He held it up to inspect it further. The lightsaber was fitting for it's use and reflective of it's original master. It was imbalanced, heavy for it's size, constructed by his grandfather for maximum power. It made his own crackling and unstable lightsaber with it's ancient vented design appear antiquated, unrefined… and he supposed it was. He couldn't be more satisfied now that this heirloom was in his possession. Out of the unworthy Resistance sympathizing hands of the Jakku scavenger. His curiosity for her caught flame once more as he remembered how she had used this weapon against him. He ignited the blade to inspect it more closely. Uncertainty tinged his sentiments for it … this lightsaber had answered to her, not him that night.

Upon entering his quarters Kylo set the Jedi weapon beside the shriveled vestiges of Darth Vader.

 _'United once more.'_ he thought solemnly.

He continued into his dimly lit room and diverged from his normal routine, he removed his helmet unceremoniously. He flung it into a cushioned chair in the corner by his communication control desk. It landed with a muffled thunk. He shed his outer cloak, gloves, hood, belt and saber hilt before making his way lazily to the refresher adjacent to his main quarters. He peeled away his wrapped sleeves and tunic, unstrapped and kicked off his heavy boots, and stepped out of his thick black combat pants. When he looked up from the floor his dark brown eyes stared back at him. He'd become accustomed to seeing the scar that marred his features now. The fresh pink skin stretched from jaw to brow. He looked away from his naked reflection and stepped into the sonic washer.

He stood, bored, as the waves crashed against his body. The experience left something to be desired. Nothing compared to a real wash with hot water and soap. As he waited, the feel of his lips pressed against hers swam back to the forefront of his mind. He'd been as shocked as her. _'Where had that come from?'_ he wondered. It hadn't been real, only her imagination running wild with fear. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes. He had influenced her, his fears had trickled through his composure and she'd seen them. _'She's more intuitive than I realized.'_ The programmed time elapsed and he stepped out of the contraption and redressed in his sleeping attire. He gathered and folded his usual garments and placed them neatly in a built-in storage cabinet, finally collecting his disregarded helmet from the chair in the corner before sitting in the solitude of his room watching disinterestedly through one of the four portholes of his cabin; and lost himself in thought.

He had dreamt of her face and kind eyes long before he had seen them in the flesh. Seeing her clearly in the old Takodanian forest had been surreal. Their meeting had been unavoidable. She had been everything he envisioned as she fired her small blaster at him attempting to stop his inevitable approach, backing away terrified but defiant. He'd lost sight of his mission once he came upon her, the Force persuaded him to take her.

The hour of silent observation hadn't been enough for him. She had raised more questions than she'd answered.

He reflected on her stillness. She made it clear that she had no intention of fighting him. There was nothing left to him besides drinking in her repressed fear for him, he could feel the tendrils of her anxiety caress his mind. With an encouraging push, he ignited and fanned the flames of her fears, she was torturing herself more thoroughly than he ever could, and her tortured silence had quickly become his new favorite game. That was, until she had manifested his own fear… he pulled back then.

He felt her pulsing light calm from afar and the change drew him from his mind. She was meditating. Reaching out for Skywalker. He couldn't allow that. He focused his own energy on blocking her attempts. She grew frustrated and exhausted as time dragged on, eventually she gave up and her light faded into a glow.

He concentrated on her and pressed gently against her warm presence. He felt her immediate rebuke of him... she sent fire through his veins, accosting his senses. Disappointed but unsurprised by her response he changed his tactics.

~)o(~

While she stood in the waves of the sonic washer she tried to piece everything together. She was taken aback by the knight's behavior. He had not probed her mind for the information she had escaped with when last they had met. Surely, the First Order still wanted that information? How had he made her cave to her fearful imagination? It hadn't been what she expected from him.

She remembered back a few months. To their previous encounter, when he swung his lightsaber mercilessly against her, driving her to a cliff. His voice sounded like a plea when he insisted she needed a teacher and he had offered rather desperately to show her the ways of the Force. The idea was still like poison to her. She had surprised even herself with her strength as she threw him away from her. He had gone deathly pale and she knocked him back casting his lightsaber from his hand and cut him across his face. And as the crust of Starkiller Base began to split wildly around them she turned away from him and ran. Leaving him bleeding in the snow with unreleased fury burning in his eyes.

Rey didn't want to redress in the scraps of clothing that she had been wearing once she stepped out of the sonic washer. She felt considerably better after washing and decided putting the old sweaty things back on would ruin her returning dignity. After folding the dirty tunic and pants and setting them neatly on the little table she sat in her sleeping alcove and used the blanket to cover herself.

She was surprised when a droid pushed a fresh set of clothing and some food into her cell. Rey lept from the foam mat to get a better look. It was a pair of dark brown pants and a long tan tunic with quarter-length sleeves. The meal was similar to the nutritional portions she was used to on Jakku. First she took the clothing and dressed quickly in a pair of dark pants and tan tunic which she belted around her waist, thankful for the new clean attire. Then she took the food tray and went to sit at the table and ate the flavorless nutritional gelatin.

After her meal she searched the cell and found some pleasing features. Firstly, there was a dial that controlled the lighting and secondly, she had been given a cup for drinking.

Frustration smoldered in her. She was meditating as there wasn't much else to do, and she was having more difficulty here than in her last cell. She wanted to speak with Master Luke again. His presence would be an incredible comfort to her now, but for the time she gave up on her attempts to contact him. The struggle was only serving to increase her distress and that wasn't what she needed. She stood and began to pace her cell and stretched her tender arms and legs to keep up her circulation. She was getting bored of her isolation. Solitude she could deal with but this lack of distraction for her mind and body was torturous and beginning to make her fidgety.

Maybe she should try sleeping, she hadn't been able to manage more than a light rest in the last few days.

She turned the light out, and made her way to the alcove where her mat and blanket waited for her. The foam of the mat was considerably more comfortable than the cot and the blanket provided a pleasant barrier from the cold air. She squirmed on the mat and buried her face into the pillow, willing herself to sleep.

As she found some comfort and her mind began to swim towards unconsciousness she felt Kylo Ren reach out and caress her mind. It was gentle, she didn't think she would have noticed it had she not been so relaxed and ready for sleep. It sent her into a rage of intensity that frightened her. She struggled to push him from her mind but it was impossible.

 _'I don't desire to harm you.'_

 _'Get out of my head.' She was fighting to force him out. She was strong but shook with the effort to push him away._

 _Rey was gaining footing, it was becoming less difficult for her to block him. But he wouldn't allow her to throw him from her mind again. He pushed back firmly and reigned in her mind tightly._

 _"There's no need for shoving." he said calmly._

 _She was fuming, which made his work considerably easier._

 _"Rey." He said simply._

 _A vortex of confusion, panic, and fear rose up within her. He'd never addressed her using her name and the sound of it coming from him was chilling._

 _She wondered briefly how he knew her name. The spy, she realized with disgust… She didn't know how to respond, she was thinking brazenly of the only thing she might be able to say back to him._

 _She slammed the defenses of her mind back in place before replying in a hiss. "You're not welcome here, Ben." She felt the shiver that ran along his spine._

 _"Ben Solo died a long time ago." he informed her slowly, sadly, but he withdrew from her nonetheless._

The intrusion set her nerves on end again and she lay awake in the darkness, too vulnerable for sleep.

He used her name. For the first time addressing her as a person and she effectively lost her composure. The sound of his voice wrapped around her name echoed in her mind. She never wanted to hear it again.

It was hard to find sleep, but exhaustion eventually won out over her desire to stay alert, and a restless unconsciousness stole over her.

 _Her toes gripped and stretched out into the hot sand. The sun was setting; casting long shadows across the yellow dunes. Rey was sitting, leaning against the wrecked shell of her AT-AT, wearing an old rebel helmet… this was something she did routinely in the evenings as the sun dipped below the horizon._

 _There was a commotion, something was happening not far away. The sound came from behind her. Curiosity roused her and she threw the helmet from her head and stood, looking around. Whatever it was, it was happening on the other side of that southern dune. She decided to investigate, she ran along the leg of the toppled machine and grabbed her staff before making in the direction of the sound._

 _A sense of familiarity was beginning to dawn on her as she climbed the large dune; the thought that this had happened before began to tug at the edges of her mind. As she clambered to the rim of the dune she looked over the ridge cautiously._

 _She was confused when nothing met her eyes. She turned around quickly as another sound assaulted her ears. It was the whirling screech of approaching Twin Ion Engine Starfighters. The fact that she had identified them as such did not strike her as odd as she ran as fast as her legs would carry her back to her shelter. She couldn't be discovered. Half way down the dune the sound of the TIE fighters vanished. She stopped, perplexed. What was happening? The thought vanished from her mind just as suddenly as the cry of the starfighters had. The sun sank completely. In the dark she felt a sweeping sense of doom._

 _Thrum-woosh. A deafening continuous hum echoed around her._

 _No. Not him._

 _She urged her legs to run, but it was as if her limbs were no longer her own. She didn't move... she couldn't move! It was too late. Panic was bubbling up in her and she closed her eyes against the crimson glow that began to bleed over the sand… no, snow. She was surrounded by snow._

 _She struggled against the invisible bond that held her there, frozen. She could hear the crunch of his boots as he approached._

 _"We're not done yet." He said, coming closer._

 _The glow and crackling hum of his lightsaber was consuming her senses._

 _The monster that dressed as a man stalked around her and she could see herself reflected in his mask._

 _"Don't fight this." his voice was darkness in her ears, hollow and encompassing. "I don't desire to harm you."_

 _Although scared and defenseless she pushed hard against her limbs, willing them to move, to be free._

 _Anything to escape._

 _"No." His tone was dangerous. She felt more pressure encase her, it became hard to breathe._

 _She choked, struggled, and then stilled._

 _"That's better." He said softly, and the pressure released her. "Now." He said, coming closer. "You'll show me what you know. Show me the way to Skywalker."_

 _"No." She was pleased that her voice at least hadn't betrayed her._

 _He looked down at her for a quiet moment._

 _"Speak carefully now." his words were a growl and he extinguished his lightsaber, placing it safely on his belt. He reached for his helmet, the filter hissed and released then moved away from his face… he pulled the helmet up and off his head and tucked the mask neatly under his arm. His heavy lidded and troubled brown eyes trained on her terrified round hazel gaze. "Don't make me to hurt you."_

 _His black hair whipped around his asymmetrical features. Features that looked as though they could be handsome in another light._

 _She wouldn't betray her friends. She buried her memory of the map, buried her memories of the place he resided, buried the kind face of Master Luke. She built a fortress around her mind. She wouldn't let him have them. And she could see that he felt her defiance, could feel her conceal her memories deeper. She thought she saw something akin to sadness in his expression. 'He murdered his father.', she reminded herself. He had murdered Han Solo in cold blood after an offer of escape. He turned away from his path out of the darkness._

 _He considered her for a long moment. She was going to die, she knew he would kill her as soon as he had what he came for._

 _"I'm no traitor." She spat at him. "If you want the information, you'll have to take it."_

 _Rage, unbridled and ferocious, roared through him and lashed out at her. It hurt her terribly. He tore his eyes from her and breathed deep erratic huffs of air as he stepped away and paced mindlessly before her. He threw his mask away from him. She could feel him battling with himself but soon his rage was gone, replaced with a bitter resolve. He ceased his pacing and rolled his shoulders. He closed his eyes and a look of repugnance stained his features._

 _Rey felt it then, the solution to his problem with her, his decision flashed white hot against her mind. She strained desperately now against the Force that held her defenseless before him. Kylo looked at her, his eyes ghosting over her body. He articulated his right hand in her direction and she felt herself being pushed away from him, felt her back collide with the bark of a large tree. Blood drained from her face and she resisted the pull on her arms, but it did nothing to slow their ascent to be pinned above her head. Her heart bounded erratically in her chest and her eyes began to sting with unshed tears._

 _His eyes became impossibly dark, predatory, as he stalked back to her. He reached for her face and she tried to flinch away, tried to turn her head, but it was impossible. His gloved fingers trembled as they traced the shell of her ear and slid slowly down her jaw. His took her chin between his thumb and pointer finger and made her look up at him. He paused as their eyes met again and swept away the tears that had fallen over her cheeks. His lips parted and a puff of hot air escaped his lungs and swept down across her face._

 _"Last chance," he whispered the warning. He pressed against her and rested his head against her brown hair, his lips centimeters from her ear. He spoke slowly and demonstrably. "Show me the map now; or I will tear everything from you, here, against this tree."_

 _The wind was knocked from her. All she could hear was the rushing of blood in her ears. Her sight was beginning to blur around the edges, everything was hazy, trees and sky and ground became one._

 _"Never." she choked feebly._

 _She felt rather than heard his sigh of disappointment. One gloved hand slid upward along her side and pulled gently at the fabric of her tunic. The cold air stung her exposed chest and she shook as she attempted to breathe. He pressed his temple against her own and cupped her breast. She felt his mind graze against her own as he tested the weight of her in his hand. He pressed himself against her and with his free hand he worked at the clasp of her belt. It came undone and fell muted into snow._

 _"Please, no." she pleaded meekly. Straining against the invisible Force that bound her._

 _He responded by pressing his hips against her own and abandoning her bare breast in favor of her hips. 'Show me where Skywalker is, and I'll let you go.' he promised silkily in her mind._

 _She couldn't, it went against every fiber of her being and he saw that to be true._

 _"That's a shame." He breathed, looking into her eyes as he eased her tan pants over her hips. "I would have preferred taking you under different circumstances."_

 _Nausea swelled in her gut. She struggled against him with little success as she saw him remove his own belt and pull the fabric around his waist down around his hips. She closed her eyes and tried to remember someplace safe… somewhere she could disappear._

 _He pressed himself against her again and she could feel him hard against her belly._

 _She forgot how to breathe. Her body was lifted further from the ground, her back scraping painfully against the coarse bark of the tree._

 _The pain of his entry shot through her and she screamed. He was tearing her apart, thrusting inside her and slamming forcefully against her leaving her in excruciating pain. Her blood began to weep into the snow below her. Instinctually she withdrew into her mind to detach herself from what was happening._

 _'Scream all you like,. It's just us now... no one is coming to save you.' His voice chased her into the depths of her consciousness. He tore after her, into her mind and grazed along her memories of Luke. She attempted to throw his mind off of her own but she didn't have the strength._

 _'Strength?' The thought sparked a fire in her. '_ _This isn't real. I'm stronger than this.'_

She woke with a start. Panting shallowly and throwing her arms up protectively poised to beat back an invisible assailant. Her surroundings were quickly coming back around her. No one was with her. 'It was a nightmare.' she told herself. Relief flooded into her adrenaline flushed blood. 'Only a nightmare.'

As she calmed herself and laid back she pulled the blanket snug against her. But nothing she did erased the sense of his body pressed against hers.


	3. Acquaintance

He was walking out along a narrow servicing bridge. Searching for something- someone, and he knew that the object of his search was hiding from him. Was frightened. Maybe as frightened as him. He didn't want to find it, or them, or whatever it was.

"Ben!" the all too familiar bark of his father echoed around him… and he thought bitterly that he never got what he wanted.

He turned slowly to face the smuggler. Kylo wanted to sound convincing, indifferent. "Han Solo, I've been waiting for this day for a long time." his voice rasped through the filter of his helmet.

Time seemed to slow as his father approached him. The older man walked out onto the bridge that crossed the thermal oscillator to meet him. His face was lined deeper and his hair greyer than Kylo had remembered it. Though, his eyes hadn't changed.

"Take off that mask…" Han's hand gestured, it was shaking, "you don't need it." He demanded. He stood only feet from him now.

Kylo swallowed painfully. "What do you think you'll see if I do?" he asked. The words spilled out in a rush.

Han Solo's face creased further and said firmly, pained almost. "The face of my son."

Kylo stood silently for a moment, considering the request. Could he do what he must without his mask?

Then his hands reached up and released his helmet. It hissed as the filter raised up and detached; Kylo pulled the mask from his face. He took a steadying breath as he looked into his father's eyes. "Your son," Kylo's throat tightened, "is gone." he finished quickly. His jaws clamped down hard and then he continued. "He was weak and foolish like his father… so I destroyed him."

Han stepped closer.

"That's what Snoke wants you to believe. But it's not true." he spoke softly. "My son is alive." His words rang painfully through Kylo's mind. This was cruel.

"No. The Supreme Leader is wise." Kylo disagreed shakely. His brown eyes locked with the blue of his father's... they were being branded into his memory.

"Snoke is using you for your power...when he gets what he wants, he'll crush you." His father whispered. Kylo could feel the sincerity and honesty that twisted their way around the words. They looked into one another at length before Han Solo said sadly, "You know it's true."

Kylo shifted, and looked away from his father. It had become too much for him. "It's too late."

"No, it's not. Leave here with me. Come home." His father said without hesitation. His breath caught. "We miss you."

Kylo's eyes burned.

"I'm being torn apart…" He confessed, "I want to be free of this pain." His voice shook in despair, and again, he found he didn't have the strength to look at him. "I know what I have to do, but I don't think I have the strength to do it." His eyes stung and threatened to weep, as he turned his gaze back to the man before him."Will you help me?" He pleaded, sounding like a child.

"Yes, anything." his father said soothingly.

Kylo's hand let go of his helmet. The clang of it colliding with the bridge echoed through the cavernous space.

With shaking fingers, he reached for the hilt of his lightsaber. It felt like sin in his hands. He offered it toward his father and Han Solo joined his hands with his sons upon it. When their eyes met again, Kylo felt a strength fill him, his shaking stopped. He could feel his father's pull on the hilt and the man's blue eyes shone with a certainty that terrified him. Kylo's hand tightened over the ignition.

The terrible red blade plunged effortlessly through his father. Kylo trembled in his horror, he felt weak. Shocked. The screams of the scavenger and Chewbacca sounded so very far away.

"Thank you." Kylo gasped in pain.

His hand tightened again over the switch and the blade obediently withdrew into itself.

His father's hand extended and his fingers lay softly across his cheek. His eyes hadn't filled with betrayal as he stumbled and fell.

Kylo shot up from his bed, violently tearing away at the sheets that strangled him. His heart was racing and his skin was drenched in a cold sweat. He trembled and gasped for air. He attempted to center himself. He clutched his head, tangled his fingers in his dark hair and slammed his eyes shut trying desperately to rid himself of his father's face... of his wide eyes. Of the phantom touch against his right cheek. It was too much.

His subtle rocking did nothing to sooth him as a tear ran down the contours of his face.

Kylo shifted and swung his long legs off the side of his bed and steadied himself. He gulped air until his pounding heart and erratic breath had evened.

Upon checking, he found the hour was both indecently late and obscenely early. He couldn't stay in his quarters, sleep wouldn't find him again, so he promptly dressed himself and left. The corridors were devoid of life. He could sense the multitude of soundly sleeping officers and crewmen as he passed their quarters and barracks on his route to the lift. Kylo had decided to blow off some of his emotional distress by immersing himself in combat training; the training block would be a welcome distraction and it was unlikely that anyone would interrupt him while he restored his composure.

The large training facility was located in the aft section of the hull. The drone of the engines was loudest here. Kylo stalked into the training facilities deserted midst and entered a combat simulation block. With the touch of a few buttons he had set the skill level to high and the blasting barrels that littered the wall hummed to life. An automated voice began an echoed countdown. _Five, Four, Three, Two…_ Kylo Ren reached for and ignited his lightsaber… _One_. Bolts of red plasma began to rain down on him. He swung his lightsaber fiercely through the air deflecting the blasts that came too close. He moved around the block strategically, using the singed columns and half-walls for cover, as he made his way toward his goal; a series of targets that once hit would commence the shutdown of the program. It didn't take him long to reach the first one, he aimed one of his deflected plasma bolts to it and one of lights along the back wall illuminated. _Two more_. Kylo thought. He was enjoying his stroll through the training block, gracefully avoiding and deflecting the plasma.

The next target was hit the same as the first, with a lazy flick of the red lightsaber. Though the last target was proving to be trickier. It was positioned in such a way that it left him too exposed to the multitude of blasters to make a clear shot with a deflected blast, and now he had been stationary for too long, all the wall mounted blasters concentrated their fire at the half-wall that he couched behind and he could feel the wall beginning to heat up. He deactivated his lightsaber. Kylo closed his eyes and concentrated on the feeling of the plasma blasts as they ripped through the air. It only took a moment and could feel them clearly, the volleys were coming at predictable intervals. He centered his concentration to one blaster in particular and willed the plasma of it's next shot in the direction of the last target. It struck its mark, and instantly the blasters ceased their fire, retracting back into their holding brackets.

"Very impressive, Lord Ren."

Kylo looked behind him, in the direction of the familiar voice. The bored face of General Hux looked back at him through the shielded glass that stretched the length of one wall of the training block. This made for the second time in two days that Kylo hadn't felt the General's approach. He needed to pull himself together, he was slipping.

"How may I help you, General?" Kylo asked by way of a greeting. Kylo warily contained his annoyance at the disruption as he made his way out of the training block.

"There has been a development." The General offered, "We have received intelligence of an impending resistance attack on this installation."

"The girl has advanced more quickly under the instruction of Skywalker than I anticipated." Kylo said slowly. "She alerted her master of her location."

"I hope this pet project of yours is worth the trouble."

Kylo didn't appreciate the General's doubtful tone or his insinuation.

"General, you underestimate the girl's threat to The Order, and by extension, you underestimate her potential value to us in quelling the Resistance." Kylo admonished. His chide words made the General's anger bristle.

"If she can not be controlled, even by you, she will become an intolerable nuisance." Hux threatened, advancing a step toward Kylo in his rage.

"I can assure you that the lapse of control in question did not occur while the scavenger was in my possession." He watched Hux's nostrils flare. "I have taken every precaution in regards to the girl, she did not contact the Resistance while aboard this ship."

"You blame the troopers who collected her for you, do you?" Hux asked, his tone sour.

"I blame no one." Kylo corrected. "She will not be able to communicate with Skywalker while she remains in proximity to me. I suggest a course alteration to avoid detection by the enemy, General."

"I see… I will bring my concerns before the Supreme Leader. He will decide what is to be done."

"A wise course of action." Kylo said flatly, he was growing tired of the sycophantic general. "Now, if that is all General, I should like to continue training."

"I'll leave you to it." Hux said, still upset, he flounced from the training facility.

Kylo spent the next hour sparring with a hand-to-hand combat droid. The droid was predictable and sparring with it felt more like light exercise than training, but it would have to do, there wasn't a living creature aboard that would pose a fair match for him one on one. Kylo Ren corrected himself, there was one creature here that would pose a match, however sparring was out of the question at this time. He could see her clearly in his mind's eye; she was standing across from him, dressed in black, and flourishing a staff, when she attacked him, and he her, it wasn't with hate or anger. Kylo felt a distantly remembered warmth begin to creep over him at the thought of her. " _It's too early to think of that."_ he told himself tersely. " _There is a good chance you will be ordered to strike her down."_

He could tell she was awake as he approached her cell, could feel her agitation electrifying the air, and knew she hadn't slept well either. He rested his palm against the sensor and with a beep and hiss the door opened for him. She was sitting neatly on her mat and looking up at him with contempt. Kylo stepped into the cell and gestured to the opening.

"Walk with me." It wasn't a request.

Rey rose cautiously from her mat and walked hesitantly toward the door, her eyes fixed on him. She stopped beside him just inside the door and looked at him questioningly. Her unspoken sarcastic query to herself floated across his mind and it amused him.

"No, we don't often walk our prisoners," He said in answer. "You're our guest."

"Much the same as last time?" She asked snidely as she walked out of the cell and looked down the detention corridor.

Instead of answering in words he removed his mask and set it on the cell's table. He hoped the small gesture would appease her some; then he walked out into the corridor looking back at her. Perhaps she would be more cooperative if she could see his eyes.

"Don't attempt to run, you won't get far." The warning was lighthearted, but a warning all the same and he caught her glance at his hip where his lightsaber hung dormant. He felt her confusion at the sight of it, of corse she had destroyed the last one, but he had remade it.

She started padding down the corridor, "I won't."

Kylo fell into step with her and they walked for a moment in silence. She was openly staring at him and beneath the distrust she had for him, he could feel her relief at being let out of the small space.

"Nice scar." She quipped as she looked away.

He'd been anticipating the comment and was keen to steer the conversation away from their previous encounter; so he changed the subject.

"You won't be surprised to hear that the Resistance is mounting a foolhardy rescue." Kylo prompted, and felt the jolt of anxiety fly from her.

"No, I'm not surprised." She said dangerously, "Your operative must have wormed their way high into Resistance command to get word of such a plan."

"They are." Kylo confirmed disinterestedly.

"Did the information come from the same traitorous slime that turned me over to you?" Rey sneered.

"No, he exhausted his usefulness after delivering you to us."

He could feel revulsion building up in the woman beside him.

"You killed him?" Rey asked in horror.

"He had served his purpose, and had become a liability." he said coldly. "He was disposed of along with the remainder of your Resistance trash."

Rey exhaled in disgust.

"I think it would be fair for me to advise you that you will no longer be able to contact Skywalker."

He felt her anger and hatred through the Force.

"And how do you plan on stopping me?" Rey asked indignantly.

"I have _already_ prevented you from communicating with him... You must learn to channel your excessive hatred of me into something more productive."

"I shouldn't be channeling anything." Rey replied angrily.

"You listened well to your _former_ Master, but Luke Skywalker is a fool and a coward," Kylo asserted darkly. "Your abilities were wasted on him. You could be so much _more_."

"Master Skywalker is no coward!" and now she spun around to face him, chest heaving. "And you're the fool; if you believe you can turn me to the Dark Side with petty words."

With one step Kylo closed the space between them.

"You know nothing of the Dark Side."

He could feel a new discomfort grow in her mind and he didn't care for the sensation of it.

"I think, I'm ready to go back to my cell." She looked up at him as though daring him to tell her 'no'.

Hoping to catch her off guard, he dove into her consciousness and plucked curiously at the thought that was causing her anxiety. He tore at it and brought it to focus in both their minds. His stomach turned as he saw the vision more clearly, and he felt her recoil in fear.

Kylo shared his revulsion with her as he spoke clearly and calmly. " _Rey, you may believe me to be a monster, I can't change that, and perhaps I am. But know that I'm no rapist."_

With that said he threw the memory from them.

She sent him nothing in return, but she also wasn't making an effort to force him away.

 _"I will escort you back to your cell, if that is what you desire."_

Kylo stepped away from her and broke their connection.

She gave a curt nod, not meeting his eyes, and made her way back down the corridor.

 **~)o(~**

Rey's nightmares had ceased and Kylo's visits were becoming a regular break in her time. She would feel his approach shortly after she had eaten her breakfast. At her request, he would remove his helmet before opening the door and they would walk down the detention cell corridor, he would make conversation that without fail, end in an impasse. Her position on the matter of him taking her as a pupil didn't waver, but the idea was no longer toxic. Though, he insisted on communicating with each other through the Force. Rey hadn't liked it at first, she didn't like to let him in, but now his presence didn't feel so foreign and all consuming. Rey could read his mood easily now, a quick moment of focusing on him and she could feel his dominant emotions as they would encompass her. She was glad of this communication now, as it gave her something to practice while she sat alone, something other than forcing the cellulose cup to defy gravity and hover before her for long periods of time. She had attempted to contact Master Luke, but Kylo had been good on his word... she couldn't reach far enough for him.

A week or more passed in this fashion, Kylo greeting her in the morning with a polite non-request to walk with him, neither of them submitting to the other's will, and him returning her to the cell with them both frustrated, though less frustrated than the day before.

Rey was sitting on her mat, practicing using the Force to move objects. She had successfully balanced her cup on the upturned and empty food tray that had brought her dinner, when she was struck with a deep sense of panic that wasn't her own.

"What-" Rey stood and the cup and tray fell with a pang and clatter to the floor. She felt everything on the ship begin to buzz to life. Something was amiss. Rey focused and became more aware of the panicked buzz when she felt for Kylo among the din.

He was incandescent with rage, and she sensed his focus was on her also. Minutes passed while she paced her cell, waiting. She knew he would be coming to collect her. When she felt him nearing she brushed against his mind, curiosity seeping from her. There was the shrill beep from the door and it flew open. He was wearing his mask, and Rey spotted not only his red lightsaber but the blue one as well resting against his hip. She was surprised when she felt happy, where did that come from?

"Come with me, now." He barked at her as he stepped aside to allow her room. The warm feeling was gone now, she hated his voice when it came through that filter.

"Where are we going?" Rey asked tentatively, not sure she wanted to follow him.

 _"An impertinent question, get out here and move!" his thoughts rang through her skull._

Her eyes were alive with fire but she met him at the cell door.

"Give me your wrists." He ordered and he held out a pair of restraints much like the ones she had been brought here in.

"Is that necessary?" She asked angrily.

"Now." He sounded more dangerous than usual. She held her wrists up to him and he snapped the cuffs around them and moved back into the detention corridor.

"This way." Kylo moved quickly down the corridor, he was practically dragging her. She had to jog to keep pace with him. His anger flowed off him in terrible quantities... when they reached the lift Rey noticed he directed it to the main hangar deck.

"Where are you taking me?" Rey demanded as the doors slid closed and the lift began to fly upward. She knew that his rage had influenced her mood but she found she didn't care.

Kylo lowered his masked gaze to her. "Your _friends_ have finally found us." He offered.

"Wouldn't I be more secure if I was kept in the detention block?" Rey asked, now amused.

He didn't answer her.

They stood in silence until the lift halted and the doors slid open to reveal the buzzing hangar. TIE Starfighters lined the walls and Stormtroopers swarmed in formation to their designated posts. The roar of the engines and blare of flashing alarms was disorienting. Kylo grabbed her by the elbow with a firm grip and tugged her along beside him. They were fast approaching a line of upsilon-class command shuttles. Kylo made for the black one at the end of the row. Rey looked around wildly as she was lead on by Kylo, there was a full-blown attack raging just outside. When they came even with the last shuttle, Kylo released the ramp hatch and the loading ramp descended gracefully to meet the hangar floor.

"You're taking me in this... a shuttle?" Rey asked, bemused. "You couldn't possibly out maneuver an X-wing starfighter and hope to escape with your life in this. Even I'm not that good of a pilot."

Kylo grabbed her by the elbow again and dragged her up into the shuttle.

"She'll fool you." He said simply as he retracted the loading ramp and released her. Rey stood disbelievingly in the center of the luxurious main cabin. This command shuttle wasn't designed for this sort of brazen escape attempt, they were built for diplomats and other stuffy uses. Was Kylo concerned that the Resistance might win? Is that why he was fleeing with her?

"I'd feel safer in my cell; I'm not prepared to be blown up due to your serious lack of judgement." Rey called after him as he disappeared into the cockpit. He was ignoring her again.

The shuttle hummed to life and Rey could make out Kylo communicating with the command tower. She looked around the interior, she was standing in a lounge with a large cushioned sofa and a few over-stuffed chairs opposite it, a hallway stretched back with a couple doors along it and she assumed that they were private quarters. The shuttle was beginning to hum louder. Rey decided that if she was going to be stuck here she would rather be belted in with a harness than loose in the cabin. She walked into the cockpit and sat down in the co-pilot seat, clicking her harness in place and tightening it to fit. The task was awkward with her hands bound together but she managed. She could feel his eyes on her as he finished his communication with the tower.

"Don't touch anything." He warned as he continued to flip switches, press buttons, adjust levers, and checked the craft's readout.

"I hope you know what you're doing." Rey said pointedly, suspecting he wasn't used to piloting.

The shuttle's engine grew steadily from a hum to a roar and the craft rose from it's dock. Rey felt the landing gear fold up and tuck away into the hull. Kylo flipped a switch to his left and maneuvered the shuttle to the open hangar bay then asked for clearance.

"You're clear, Sir." the command tower replied through the dash speaker.

Kylo eased the levers forward and they were away. The wings that usually rested in a 'v' extended out, and Rey caught a glimpse of two TIE Starfighters circle and fall defensively behind them. It was a full blown assault on the Finalizer. Rey saw the Resistance swarming the Star Destroyer and weaving through enemy return fire from the turbo blasters and ion cannons that were mounted around the Resurgent-Class Star Destroyer. It took fewer than two minutes for the shuttle to attract the Resistance Starfighters fire. Two X-wings had broke away from a bombing run and maneuvered strategically to the shuttle's aft and began to fire. Kylo competently guided the command shuttle in an intricate maneuver that made it very difficult to hit and leaving Rey slightly dizzy. One of the TIE fighters broke from formation, catapulted around the X-wing and began to fire on it. It hit it's mark and the fighter exploded, sending shrapnel flying. Rey felt the impact of the shrapnel, but it was hardly a serious strike. Rey grimaced, she might have known that pilot, whoever they were. The second X-wing broke off its pursuit, Rey could only assume it had been ordered back to re-group. They were far enough away from the Finalizer now that it appeared tiny to Rey.

"That's enough, I'll be fine from here, return to the Finalizer." She heard Kylo say into the communicator.

"Yes, Sir." came the reply over the speaker. Kylo became busy flipping switches and hitting buttons again.

"They didn't need to destroy that fighter." Rey said sadly.

Kylo didn't look up from his work when he answered. "That pilot wasn't aiming to disable us, he was shooting to kill." Rey couldn't feel anything from him and didn't want to look at him just now.

"Are we meeting another ship, or are we going to drift here until the fight is over?"

"Neither," Kylo said, "I'm taking you to Arkanis."

Rey couldn't contain her bark of laughter. "What, in _this_?" She gestured around.

Kylo removed his helmet and threw it into the communication's seat and began working on the console.

"R9, calculate our route."

Rey turned in her seat to stare at the white and yellow droid she had overlooked, it had beeped and was spinning a communication dial in the wall. She looked back at Kylo, he had been watching her with his eyes alight and a smile threatening to pull at his lips. The R9 astromech chirped again. Kylo pressed a button and the cry of a hyperdrive filled her ears. She saw the stars around them blur into nothing but streaks of light.

"But command shuttles don't have hyperdrive compatibility." Rey said, astonished.

He replied with a smug, "This one does."

Rey sat back in her co-pilots chair and looked out the cockpit shield. "Unorthodox, but impressive." she admitted. An odd sense of freedom fell over her even though her wrists were bound. Perhaps this was her chance to escape, instead of an army, there was only Kylo Ren to be dealt with. She glanced at his belt, both lightsabers still hung there. Rey wasn't sure how she was going to liberate the blue lightsaber from him, but she was sure that would be the key for a successful escape. She gave herself a mental shake. If she got too excited or began focussing on an escape he would sense it. She decided to keep him in conversation. "How?"

"I made a few modifications." He said furtively and Rey could tell that was as good an answer as she would get from him. She would have to try to sneak a closer look at the ship upon their arrival on Arkanis. "The ship is on autopilot, I don't expect to reach the outer territories for another couple days." Kylo looked over at her and unfastened his harness. "Here," He said, reaching for her. "I'll remove those for you if you promise not to be trouble."

Rey offered her linked arms to him. "I promise." She said, burying her thoughts of escape.

Kylo took her wrists and began to release her right hand. "You won't be able to fly this shuttle; so don't try."

Rey looked up at him with mock indignation. "You think I'd redirect us while you slept?" The thought _had_ crossed her mind.

"No. I think you'd break my ship and we would be adrift on emergency life-support... Any alteration in course requires a security code." He was working on her left hand now, and she watched him. Rey had looked at him before, of course, but she was beginning to see something in him that had either been absent when they first met or had always been there and she was only now beginning to read him more clearly. She was overcome with an urge to goad him.

"We'll see." she said, finally catching his eyes, and he paused.

"If you would prefer being cuffed to the cabin wall, that can be arranged." Kylo threatened. With his threat she could feel an emotional nuance she had never felt from him. It felt warm. She was wondering if his eyes were always that dark; she couldn't remember.

"No, this is fine." Rey said, "I won't be trouble."

Kylo nodded simply and released her un-cuffed hands. He turned his attention to a display on the dash, it was tilted toward him and Rey couldn't see it properly. He pinched his brow and she felt a ripple of annoyance from him.

"Is there a problem?" Rey asked lightly, craning her neck to see the display that held his attention.

"The shrapnel damaged the subspace antenna and hyperwave scanner."

"Well, that isn't too awful." She wondered why that would be a problem.

"It complicates things." He ran his hand through his hair and got up from the pilot's seat.

Rey watched him walk out of the cockpit and disappear into a room off the hallway. Then she turned to the R9 unit. "Do you know the security code?" She asked the droid hopefully. The astromech spun it's head around to look at her, made an indignant low series of beeps back at her, and turned its domed optical fixture back to its dial. "You're right, I'm not authorized." she agreed bitterly. Rey unclipped her harness and left for the lounge area. She decided that when he came out of that room she would grab that lightsaber from him and force him to redirect the shuttle to D'qar.

Rey played the scenario out again and again in her mind. She would force him to bend to her will, she knew she could do it if she had adequate conviction. If she couldn't force him to enter the security code, she would cuff him to something and force the numbers from his mind. She thought she could do that. Kylo had been in that room for what felt like hours now and Rey took to laying on the sofa, looking at the collection of holobooks that lined the built-in shelf.

She was surprised when she looked away from the collection to find him leaning in the hallway watching her.

"What?" She asked.

"It's getting late, you should sleep." He answered casually.

"I'm not tired." she retorted.

"I am." He said.

"Where should I sleep?" Rey asked angrily as she sat up and tucked a loose hair behind her ear. She kept her hazel eyes trained on him and he looked back at her curiously.

"Sleeping quarters are portside." He answered slowly. Rey knew he suspected something, could feel him tense through the Force. "I'll even let you have the bed." He offered kindly.

"Where are you going to sleep?" She questioned with a raised brow.

He huffed in amusement. "Not in the bed."

"Are you worried I'll tempt you?" She asked with a grin. Rey was surprised with herself, where was all of this foreign emotion coming from? She could feel that warm sensation coming from him again, it caressed her senses. She wasn't sure what the emotion was, but she liked it, it emboldened her, and she was enjoying their verbal sparring.

"No, I don't think so," He said darkly. "but, I might tempt you."

His words sent a thrill down her spine but she scoffed and stood from the sofa. She walked towards him, he didn't move out of her way. Rey was as close as she could get, it was now or never. She looked him in the eyes but her gaze drifted along his nose and rested on his mouth. She felt a pleasant tightening sensation in her chest. Her mind was swimming. What was she doing, again?

"Is there something else?" He asked her curiously, raising his eyebrows slightly.

Yes there was, she needed to get her lightsaber back, she remembered with a pang, and without thinking her hand dove to his belt and grasped, onto nothing. There was nothing. Panic flooded her veins. His hand wrapped loosely around her wrist and moved her hand away. The corners of his mouth turned up in restrained triumph and he blinked slowly down at her.

"I'm not an idiot, I saw you looking." He said, no anger tinted his words. He sounded amused and Rey could feel the warm emotion radiate off him more strongly, only now it was hot. "And now what will you do, Rey?" He asked, as he released his hold on her.

She couldn't look away from him, his brown eyes held her hostage. The tightness in her chest grew and her breathing became shallow. Her body was singing. Aflame. She didn't know what was coming over her. She felt strong, stronger than she had in weeks. Every muscle tensed and relaxed.

She stood on her toes, and pressed her lips firmly to his, her hands flew to his black hair and her fingers tangled themselves in it.

He caught fire.

He returned her kiss with a voraciousness she had never known. His hands grabbed her firmly at her waist and after a moment, pushed her back and away from him. Rey's heart was thundering and she trembled. She had never felt this way before, this was lust. Kylo's eyes were searching her, and she felt his mind overwhelm her own.

 _"What are you doing?" he demanded with fracturing composure._

Rey could feel a storm building in him and it was breathtaking. Deciding she couldn't deal in words right now, Rey let her emotions flow into him across the bridge that linked their minds.

Kylo let out a slow quaking breath and advanced on her. He wasn't gentle when he grabbed her by the waist and pushed her back into the lounge. Her knees hit the sofa and she fell onto it. Kylo followed suit, and pulled her toward him. He had her straddling his hips and his hands came up to cradle her head. Rey noticed they were calloused when he pulled her down to drown in him again. Her hands ran over his shoulders and wrapped around his neck. This was wonderful, she was losing her ability to discern whose limbs belonged to who, it felt as though she was inside his head and her own at the same time. Rey tore her lips from his for air. His hands had began to roam over her back and work to release her chest bindings. She rested her forehead against his while she caught her breath, and the creeping sensation that this wasn't right came over her, but it didn't take away from her enjoyment.

"This is wrong." She whispered, more to herself than him.

His hands paused.

" _We can stop."_ _The thought floated into her mind, but it wasn't her own._

Rey knew they couldn't stop, because neither of them wanted to.

"No, I want this." she exhaled.

Without a moment's hesitation his hands came alive again.

Rey began to kiss along his jaw and she felt his scar pass beneath her lips, she followed it to his throat. For the first time she regretting marking his face. He had released her chest bindings and a pleased groan left him, his hands slipped down to her hips. Rey liked the sound, she wanted to hear it again. She angled her hips and rolled them forward. An appreciative sigh met her ears and his grip tightened almost painfully on her hips. She felt powerful. Her fingers explored his belt, nimbly unfastened it and tossed it aside. His hands had found their way beneath her her tunic again. She stopped her kissing and sat straight, watching him. He pulled the bindings away and threw them to the floor.

His hands trailed up her sides and he encouraged her to raise her arms. She complied and Kylo gripped the hem of her tunic and pulled it over her head and dropped it at his feet. His eyes drank in the sight of her. She felt a cocktail of desire and gratification spill from him. She was becoming self conscious under his intense gaze. She lifted her arms to cover herself from his hungry stare, but he stopped her. Kylo cupped her breasts in his hands. She could see his pupils dilate. He pushed her off his lap and back onto the sofa and began to unfasten and pull his clothing from him. When he removed the wrapped sleeves and undershirt and tossed them carelessly on the floor he turned back to her. Rey was taken aback at the amount of scars that mottled his chest and arms and she stared openly at them.

He pressed himself against her, pinning her to the sofa, and his right hand slid between them. Rey felt along his spine and smoothed over his back. Her palms found more roped scars. She wondered how he gotten them. His hand moved slowly over her chest and down her tight core, ghosted beneath the waist of her pants, and she became painfully aware of the aching heat building in her groin. She wanted him to touch her there, she arched into his hand. Kylo liked it. His kiss became fervered. He felt further, and after a short search he found her clitorus. He stroked it with his thumb and elicited a cry of pleasure that Rey was alarmed to hear from herself. The ache between her thighs eased momentarily but then grew. She felt his smile against her lips, but immediately lost herself in him again as he continued to slide his thumb over the sensitive bundle of nerves. He broke their kiss and captured her hazy gaze.

Kylo drew his hand away from her rather suddenly. Rey couldn't help her frustration at it's absence. He raised himself off her and hooked his fingers around the waistband of her pants. He dragged them from her in one fluid motion. She was completely naked now and her cheeks flushed. He gave her an appraising glance and then focused on removing his remaining clothes. Rey sat up and watched as he removed his boots which thudded to the floor, and his hands as they pulled the black combat pants and underclothes off. They lay forgotten on the heap of clothing that had grown on the floor. She had the terrifying and exhilarating realization that they were really going to do this.

He pulled her back over him and claimed her mouth with his own. He crushed her against his chest. Rey could feel him hard against her abdomen and it made her wild with want. She ran her fingers into his hair and held him against her. He thrust his hips against hers and they both moaned. It was blissful agony and she wanted more. His arms wrapped around her sides and his hands found her thighs. He squeezed and lifted her up. They broke their kiss and she looked down between their bodies. She guessed him to be larger than average, but not huge. She was glad he wasn't either extreme. A bead of pre-cum had seeped from his tip. She watched as he took himself in one hand and stroked languorously. His thumb ran over the tip and rubbed the moisture over the sensitive gland. She averted her gaze, blushing, and saw that he had been watching her reaction and it seemed he liked what he saw.

Rey wet her lips and sighed in anticipation. She felt his consciousness so clearly against her own, they were vibrating together, his darkness and her light. Kylo pressed her back down slightly and she felt the head of his erection brush against her glans. He slid it down between her soaking lips and back a few times. It felt wonderful and Rey's legs began to shake. She wanted him inside, now. He shared her sentiment because his hips immediately came up to meet hers and he slid deep inside her.

She gasped at the new sensation and Kylo hissed in satisfaction. He stretched and filled her completely. His hands flew to her hips and ground them down against his own and busied himself with attacking her throat with his lips. She whimpered in delight and braced herself with her hands on his chest. She rocked with him in a frenzy. Rey had never felt so alive.

She felt Kylo's sigh of discontent and frustration. He rolled Rey onto her back keeping an arm tightly around her leg and raising her knee, hooking it around his back. He thrust deeper now and Rey was losing control. She arched against him and rolled her hips up to meet his thrusts. Her movements were becoming desperate. Kylo reached for her neck and cupped his large hand over it. It wasn't choking her, but it was firm without discomfort and she experienced a thrill of arousal. He was pumping into her fast and hard, and the tension and heat coiling in her was nearing its breaking point. Kylo was unrelenting, he drove into her with disturbing force. The dwindling sensible portion of Rey's mind thought it should hurt but it felt unbelievably good. Kylo's other hand had found itself nestled between them and his thumb found her clitorus again. It stroked her infuriatingly slow, it was insensing. She could feel her ache building into something much more. She was getting dangerously close to her precipice, she would fall at any moment. She knew Kylo could tell, he was close too, but he was going to make her lose herself first. He looked into her eyes, and there was something there that she had never seen before. It made her heart clench.

One thrust, two, three. She was gone; hurtling from reality as she convulsed and contracted around him, she cried out in her ecstasy.

He didn't give her a moment to recover. Kylo altered the tilt of his hips and tightened his grip on her throat. His pace stayed the same. Rey was lost in the fog that was left by her orgasm, but she felt his thrusts become erratic and stiff. His face contorted into a grimace of severe concentration.

"Yes." Rey sighed in encouragement.

He lost it with the sound of her voice. His hips jerked forward twice more than stilled buried completely and firmly inside her. His eyes slammed shut and a strained but satisfied growl rumbled in his chest. He released her neck and collapsed over her breathing hard. He collected his wits quickly and pulled out of her and sat up. Rey remained where she was, not sure about what happened, now that the haze of her orgasm was lifting sense was flooding back to her. She wasn't ashamed or sorry, but she was conflicted. She swallowed and sat beside him in silence. She couldn't feel his emotions nearly as well as she had moments ago. Kylo grabbed her tunic from the floor and wiped himself off with it. Rey was too confused about her feelings to protest. She knew he was thinking hard on what had just happened. They sat in silence for a time, she felt outward for an inking of his feelings and watched him looking down at his hands in thought. She felt a resolve in him and wasn't surprised when he turned to her and spoke.

"There's a refresher through the sleeping quarters… You can clean yourself up in there." He told her, his tone was softer than normal. Rey met his eyes and she couldn't find any regret in them. "I'll find you something to wear." He stood and pulled his pants on unhurriedly and strode down the hallway. Rey collected herself and followed down the hall, trying not to concentrate on the fluid that was running sluggishly down her thigh. She opened the only door that led off to the right. It was a small room with a bed along the wall and some simple built-in closets that matched the one in the lounge. There was also a door that led off the room that led to a refresher. Rey made her way into the tight space, the door closed behind her, and she stepped into the sonic washer. As the waves beat against her dissolving the evidence of the last fifteen minutes she thought about what she would do now, and tried to figure out why she had kissed him. No answers were forthcoming. When she felt properly clean, she turned the sonic off and stepped out. She caught a glimpse of herself in a mirror. A bruise was spreading over her neck, she touched it gingerly. It hadn't felt like he had held her hard enough for that, and besides she had really liked it. She wondered if he would say anything... she had made a snide comment about the scar she had given him.

She fixed her hair back into three loose loops and left the refresher. A long black men's shirt and pair of tied pants were folded neatly on the corner of the bed. She dressed quickly. She knew he was standing just outside the door, so she padded over to it and opened it with a touch. He was standing there holding the restraints he had put her in earlier and wearing his lightsaber again, he wore an apologetic expression.

"Go sit on the bed and give me your arm." He said simply.

"We aren't going to talk about this?" She asked in disbelief.

"We can talk in the morning, but now, we both need to sleep." He said as he walked her back into the room. Rey sat on the bed and offered him her left arm. He took it and placed one of the cuffs around it. Then he reach over and cuffed the other one to the frame of the bed.

"I'm sorry, but I can't trust you not to strangle me in my sleep." He said as he walked to the light dial and turned the lights out. She heard him make his way into a corner of the room and lay down. He fell asleep quickly and Rey was left to ponder the evening in the dark.

Rey arranged her limbs again, attempting to get comfortable under her blankets, but it wasn't the mattress or the cuffs that kept her awake, it was Kylo's restlessness. She couldn't sleep like this. Rey listened to him toss and turn and murmur unintelligibly in his sleep. She wondered if she should reach out and touch him, try to wake him up. The idea was unsettling, but she would lose her mind without rest. Deciding there was nothing else for it she sought him out with the Force. She didn't know how he would react to his mind being meddled with in his unconsciousness.

 _"Kylo?"_

He flung himself from the floor and ignited his lightsaber. His response was so immediate that it startled her and she shrank back into the bed. The blade filled the small space with a threatening hum and light. She could see his chest heaving and the gleam of sweat on his forehead despite the chill that had settled on the ship.

"You were only dreaming." She said in a soothing whisper.

Kylo's eyes flashed to her and he seemed to relax. He lowered the lightsaber.

"Go back to sleep." He said tersely, and he switched off his blade, plunging them back into darkness.

"That's what I was trying to do," Rey said irritably, "You're the one tossing in their sleep."

"...I'm sorry." He said, and she felt the words sincerity.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Author's Notes:

This chapter stretched on a bit, but I think it was needed. Thank you everyone who has followed, favorited and most of all reviewed! I'm looking forward to your thoughts on this chapter. Thanks for reading!


	4. Acknowledgment

This was dangerous; for him, for her, and for the outcome of this war.

She threatened everything he had worked for, what he had built for himself… after all that was sacrificed to bring him to where he was today. This wasn't the time for distractions; and Rey was a big distraction. He hadn't expected to sleep with her last night, he hadn't anticipated sleeping with her ever. _No, that wasn't true._ He had anticipated it, only it had been different and further in the future. He opened his eyes and stared unseeing into the pitch of the sleeping cabin. His emotions swirled dangerously around her, she had an effect on him that was frightening. He could feel Rey's tranquil mind wander aimlessly in her sleep from across the room. He focused on her unconsciousness and drifted along with it. He hadn't felt this manner of calm since he had renounced his uncle's academy. Her mind was peaceful and he had to leave it, Kylo came back to himself with a great amount of will power.

He may have completed his apprenticeship, but Snoke would sense a change in him if he allowed himself to linger in her light for too long. He couldn't allow himself to be swallowed up in the girls allure, he must cling to the darkness.

Instead of relaxing dangerously in her mind, he would meditate, re-center himself in the dark side of the Force. He pulled himself quietly from the floor and left the room careful not to wake her. Kylo walked into the lounge. The lights grew to a soft glow at his movement. His eyes lingered on the sofa and the memory of the previous evening replayed vividly in his mind. Kylo allowed himself to feel the rekindling desire for her. _Passion gives me strength._ He told himself. He knelt stiffly in the center of the room and rested his palms flat against his thighs. He closed his eyes and allowed his mind to seep into the Force, felt the tendrils of his mind wind their way across the vastness of the universe. It wasn't long before he was lost in the tide of the Force and he rested his mind in its embrace. Time compressed here, more than an hour had passed before he was tugged out of his commune by a disturbance. She was awake he realized and he pulled himself off the floor to return to the dimly lit sleeping cabin.

Upon entering he found her sitting, hair rustled and untidy, and hazel eyes wide awake and alert. He walked to her without speaking and began to release her from the restraint that held her wrist to the bed frame. Kylo felt her apprehension radiating off her. He remembered that he said they would talk in the morning, and suspected that their mutual lapse in judgment last night weighed heavy on her mind. He wanted to assuage her fear.

"I apologize for last night." He said quietly, hoping to distract her from her worry. Her apprehension turned instantly to distress, he hadn't spoken plainly. "I'm sorry that I kept you awake… I'm not at all sorry about the sex." He clarified realizing his mistake. The relief that flooded her was palpable. He released her left wrist.

"There's nothing to apologize for." She said, and a blush tinted her chest. He noticed the violet shadow of the bruise that had set on her neck. It was a sobering sight, he would have to remember to be more gentle with her if there was a next time. She was giving him a searching look and he could tell she wanted to say more. He sensed several questions she wanted to ask him clambering inside her mind and knew she was trying to decide which one to ask first. Her unspoken words hung on her lips threatening to spill out.

"What do our actions make us?" She asked finally, in a terrified whisper. He must have looked confused because she added. "I hate you." She looked away, "But I also-"

"You should hate me," He confirmed, cutting her off quickly. He sat next to her on the bed.

"It's disgusting, I'm revolted by myself." She said looking at her twisting hands in her lap. "I wanted you, and it's wrong."

He took a steadying breath. "Things I have done, the things I am capable of, are deserving of your hatred." Kylo told her seriously. There was a heavy silence. He should make his practiced argument quickly before he lost his nerve. "Hatred is not embraced by the Jedi," He was watching her, waiting to see a sign that told him he'd gone too far. "Nor passion." She stilled quite suddenly under the hand that he lay on her lap. He slowly trailed his hand further up her thigh.

She was quiet, and he could feel her inner turmoil and a spark of desire.

"The light you cling to does not shine as brightly as you may think. I can see the shadows in you. They may be small, but the exist." He got up from the bed. Kylo thought she looked crestfallen. "If you desire to remain the padawan of Luke Skywalker, you will crush the feelings you have towards me, and I will continue as though last night never happened… I will deliver you to Supreme Leader Snoke and he will decide your fate." He brushed some of her hair from her face. "If you realize you cannot extinguish the flames of your hatred and passion, but you embrace them, we will move forward as Master and Apprentice." He turned away from her. "It's your choice." With those words he exited the sleeping quarters, leaving Rey to her thoughts.

He wasn't sure what he would do with her if she rejected the darkness now. He would be disappointed if she chose Skywalker, destroying her he thought, would be nearly as difficult as destroying his own father. Supreme Leader would certainly command him to dispatch of Rey himself. Kylo went to the cockpit to check the conditions report. He ignored the R9 unit that beeped at his arrival and sat in the pilot's seat with a sigh. He read the monitor, nothing had changed while they had slept. There wasn't a multitude of activities to distract him as he waited for Rey and her decision. Kylo allowed his mind to wander and he remembered how she felt straddling his hips; she had felt powerful when her light had intertwined with the dark. He wondered if she had felt it too… surely she had.

~)o(~

Rey couldn't bring herself to move. She sat on the bed, devastated. He was right… about everything. How could she hope to be a Jedi when she allowed her emotions to dictate her actions so easily, when she felt so deeply. When she had succumbed to _him_. Rey looked at her open palms and an uncomfortable tingle ran along her spine. What had she done? What had possessed her to kiss him, to become one with him? She pressed her will against the Force. She reached for Master Luke, he would know what to do and she desperately needed his counsel. However, it was difficult to focus. Her emotions were running high, she was afraid, and she could not push the fear aside. _Fear leads to the dark side._ She heard her master's words reverberate in her skull.

She lacked control… she needed a teacher.

After some time, Rey gave up on contacting Master Luke. Apart from suspecting that Kylo Ren was still interfering with her attempts to contact him, she felt her own inability to subdue her emotions hindered her efforts. She found herself contemplating the unthinkable. _Only until I can escape._ She told herself fervently. _If I can convince him, he will begin to trust me and I'll be able to escape._ It was a brittle tale to tell herself, Rey wondered if she would be able to undo the damage of her imminent treachery. She knew Kylo Ren was awaiting her choice. She expected he was a man of his word, if she rejected him, she knew he would bring her directly to Snoke; and Snoke wouldn't hesitate in killing her. There wasn't a point in letting him wait, she knew deep down that this is what she had to do. There were no alternate options that brought her nearer freedom. Rey gathered her wits and strode purposefully from the room to find him.

He was on his knees in the lounge with his eyes closed and hands resting on his thighs. He looked perfectly serene, but she could feel the disguised emotions that ran through him. He didn't acknowledge her presence though she was sure he knew she was there. Rey walked toward him. He still showed no inclination of addressing her. She stood only a meter from him, and not sure what to do, she chose to mirror his stance. She lowered herself to the floor and arranged her limbs, closed her eyes and began to take deep measured breaths. In. Out. In again. Until she lost herself to the expanse of the Force and drifted. She felt out around herself. She could feel Kylo, dark as empty space, and then nothingness stretching ever outward.

His mind brushed gently against her own; it was a polite greeting and she didn't refute him.

 _"I sense much conflict in you." his voice whispered in her mind._

 _"I am betraying all that I know," she answered, angry, "betraying my friends and all that I have learned from them."_

 _"In time, you're guilt will give way to gratitude." He said in a comforting tone. She wasn't comforted, she could feel how pleased he was that she was angry._

 _"Time will be the judge of that… Master."_

 _Rey felt his rippling sense of surprised triumph and contentedness at the title she had addressed him with._

 _"I will not fail you as Skywalker has." He promised, "First, you will learn our words. Listen and remember them well."_

 _She agreed however hesitantly._

 _"Peace is a lie, there is only Passion." He paused expectantly._

 _Rey repeated the words to him and her stomach turned over unpleasantly._

 _"Through passion, I gain strength... Through strength, I gain power."_

 _Rey sent the words back to him again, they rasped against her mind painfully._

 _"Through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken." He continued._

 _She took a breath in an attempt to center herself, and echoed the words._

 _"The Force shall free me." Kylo finished with furious resolve._

"The Force shall free me." Rey spoke aloud. She blinked open her eyes feeling as though she had lost her moral compass.

Kylo, she noted was looking at her and she wondered if he had been watching her from the moment he had begun speaking to her. She hoped not.

"Good." He told her. There was a fire in his eyes. He should have frightened her in that moment, she knew, but she was oddly attracted to him.

"Where do we begin?" She asked quietly.

"With breakfast." He answered, standing. He offered her his hand, Rey hesitated for a moment, but accepted it. He pulled her from her knees and released her. She followed him down the hallway and into the second compartment on the starboard side. It was a galley.

"Are you hungry?" he asked as he pulled a canister out of a small compartment.

Rey nodded. He opened the canister and removed two nutritional packets and retuned the canister to it's place.

"We must eat quickly, we arrive soon." He said, matter-of-factly.

He had opened the packets and pressed a button on the wall. Rey was confused.

"I remember you telling me we are going to Arkanis, we couldn't possibly arrive so quickly." Rey scoffed and leaned against the doorframe. "Unless you drugged me in my sleep and more time has passed than I am aware of." She said suspiciously.

"I lied." He said, as he pressed the button again. Superheated water poured out of a small tube, and into the opened food packets. "We are on course to Dathomir." He confessed, and handed a steaming food packet to her. The ghost of smile still lingered on his features. Rey eyed the gray contents that he had handed her with uncertainty.

"Why would you take us to that hellish place?" She asked. "I've only heard stories of Dathomir, told by junkers in passing… but none had a nice thing to say."

"Because no one will come looking for you there." He answered simply. Kylo made a show of squeezing past her and made his way back toward the lounge. Rey couldn't argue with that, there were no ties that either of them had, to her knowledge, that connected them to Dathomir. She paced along behind him, through the lounge and into the cockpit. He sat in the pilot's seat and began toying with the controls between bites of the gray mush. She sank into the co-pilot's chair and began eating also.

"You will need something more suitable to wear." He said offhandedly. Rey looked down at herself, and she silently agreed. She had rolled the hem of the tied pants up around her ankles and to say the shirt was overlarge for her was an understatement. She looked ridiculous. "When we arrive, I'll find you something more appropriate." He offered.

"You're going to leave me with the shuttle, alone?" Rey asked in disbelief.

"You won't be alone, R9 will stay too." He said.

"That isn't what I meant, and you know it… You aren't worried I'll fly away?"

He turned to look at her seriously. "I've said before, you need a security code to fly this shuttle. You aren't going anywhere, and I don't enjoy the prospect of leaving this ship unsupervised."

Rey took a bite of the gray mush, it was nearly tasteless.

"It wouldn't be unsupervised," Rey reminded him sarcastically. "R9 will be here." She gestured lazily to the droid.

Rey could feel his restrained amusement as he looked away shaking his head slowly and continued to manipulate the dash controls.

~)o(~

The shuttle exited hyperspace and the hulking red mass of Dathomir loomed before them. Kylo maneuvered the craft steadily into the atmosphere, and they set down not far from a small settlement. He taped a series of buttons and switches and heard the engines spool down into silence.

"I won't be gone long." He told her, as he unharnessed himself. He picked his helmet up from the communications seat and pulled it over his head. It sealed with a hiss. "R9, keep an eye on her. Alert me if she attempts to leave." He directed the droid. The astromech beeped dutifully at him and it's optical dome swung around to fix on Rey, who hadn't spoken since their exit from hyperspace. Kylo eyed her up and down. He felt confident that he could guess her measurements, but then he looked to her naked feet. "What size shoe do you wear?" She shrugged her shoulders and lifted her foot, wiggling her toes.

"I always made my own. I don't know what size I am." She answered, unhelpfully.

"Let me see." He said as he grabbed her foot in his gloved hands and laid his palm flat against her sole. His middle finger reached just past her small toe. That would be enough to make a guess. Kylo released her foot and she set it back to the metal floor. "Stay here. I don't want to chase you through a forest, again." Rey only blinked up at him.

"I'll stay here as you asked." She assured him. He couldn't feel any deception.

His boots rang loudly against the loading ramp and red dust blew in violent swirls around him. Dathomir was a decidedly unpleasant place. The flora naturally appeared dead or dying, with little to no leaves and the hulking trees sprouted nothing more than large dried pods. The atmosphere was a blood red and it's two small moons shone faintly through the clouds. Kylo made his way into the run-down settlement. Dathomir had become a breeding ground for bounty hunters and the slime of the galaxy. Many inhabitants scurried away into shops, behind booths, and disappeared down alleys at his approach. A few of the more menacing looking characters had only stopped to watch him. Kylo made his way toward a pale and tattooed man sitting relaxed in a chair outside a crumbling canteena, who he assumed to be a local. The man's orange eyes watched him unblinking while he approached. Kylo stood a meter from him. The man's lips pulled up in a snarl revealing sharpened and yellowed teeth.

"I'm in the market for new attire and weapons." Kylo said, seeming bored. "If you would point me in the correct direction," he showed the man several druggats casually, "I would be most appreciative."

The man straightened his back and leaned forward, and outstretched his hand. Kylo tipped the druggats into his empty palm. "You will find a dealer two alleys down from here, toward the swamp." The man hissed and tilted his head in the mentioned direction, "His name is Gavlint, a dug. He will have the wares you are looking for."

Kylo bent his head slightly in thanks and moved quickly toward the dealer's shop. It didn't take long to find the ramshackled place. Kylo entered the dimly lit structure and looked around. There was a modest selection of weapons, fabrics, outerwear, and boots. Kylo removed his gloves and strode through the cramped space, testing the weight and texture of the garments as he passed. There was a clattering in an adjoining room and a dug came bustling out waving his lower limbs before his face, warding off the dust that billowed out the open door. He was swearing loudly in his native tongue. The dug's watery eyes settled on him.

"What can I do for you?" He asked sharply.

"I've found myself in the market for new attire and weapons. I was directed here." Kylo spoke slowly through the filter.

The dug's eyes narrowed. "You've come to the right place." Gavlint raised his lower limbs and motioned about the dark shop. "Whatever you are looking for, I'm sure to have it. I'll leave you to my wares."

Kylo turned away from the dirty creature and set about finding something suitable for Rey to wear. He settled quickly on a rust colored tunic with wide three quarter length sleeves, a long heavy black vest coat, a wide utility belt also black, dark grey high waisted pants made from a durable fabric, a long black hooded cloak, and a pair of heavy knee length combat boots. As he approached the counter he also noticed a pair of dark durasteel staves he pulled them toward himself using the force. They were balanced nicely and Kylo decided arming his new apprentice may be to their advantage in the coming days. Dathomir was less than hospitable.

"You have made your selection, then?" The dug asked, pacing his way to the counter.

Kylo didn't answer, only laid the items down.

The dug's eyes widened slightly in surprise and then a sickened and guttural laugh tore from him. "You have come across a new toy perhaps?" He mused, twisting one of the tendrils that hung from his upper lip.

"It is no concern of yours." Kylo said acidly, while he moved his hand carefully through the air.

The dug looked confused but repeated, "It is no concern of mine."

"You will offer these item to me, free of charge." Kylo told him. Kylo had intended on buying the items but the dug's comment had irritated him.

"I offer you these items, free of charge."

Kylo collected the clothing and staves from the counter and left the shop, eager to get back to his shuttle.

"R9, take us into some mountains." Kylo ordered as soon as he entered the shuttle. He threw down the weapons and tossed the long dark hooded cloak and boots to the floor. The loading ramp came back up and sealed itself. "And keep us low, I don't want to be followed." He added when he felt the engines fire-up. The droid beeped back at him in an affirmative. Kylo removed his helmet and set it down on one of the plush chairs and ran his hand through his black hair.

"You _were_ fast." Rey said. He looked up to see her leaning in the doorway to the sleeping quarters wearing only the long shirt he had given her. "I was about to wash up." She offered lamely, not meeting his gaze. He felt she was embarrassed and a little aroused by being caught half dressed.

"Here, take these… while I like you in my shirt, these are better suited for your training." He said, walking to her and handing her the clothes he had collected for her. He watched her test the texture of the fabric between her thin fingers. She seemed pleased.

"The color is a little dark for my taste, but thank you." A blush was creeping over her cheeks and Kylo couldn't help but notice the bruise around her neck again. He reached out to trace his fingers delicately around the shadow of ruptured blood vessels.

"You should have told me I was hurting you." He admonished, searching her face. A heat was beginning to form within him. He wasn't sure if it was simply her proximity or her half-dress that got to him. Rey took a step back and her own free hand touched her throat.

"You didn't." She said, her blush deepening. He raised a brow. Unless that blotched skin was a result of self harm, and he knew it was not, than she was a sad liar; though he wasn't sure why she would lie about this.

"It doesn't look that way." Kylo said, moving past her into the sleeping quarters. He was trying to mask his feelings from her now, though he suspected he was doing a poor job. He sensed her attraction growing stronger. He was sick with himself that he was aroused by the sight of the bruise he had left on her. Rey spun around and the door closed.

"I liked it." Her voice left as a whisper, but crashed upon his ears like a gale. He turned to face her then as a heady mix of lust and anger ran through him.

"You liked it." Kylo hissed in disbelief, and stalked around her, gauging her response. "You enjoyed being strangled… as I ravaged your body and spilled myself inside you?" his voice sounded oddly strained, almost unhinged. Kylo had come full circle and stood before her again.

Her lips were parted and she exhaled, her pupils dilated. Kylo could see the freckles that dotted her cheeks and nose stand out plainly as the color flushed from her face. Her arousal was overwhelming his senses. He didn't peg her as a masochist, this was something else. His chest tightened and he shifted uncomfortably in his suddenly restrictive pants.

"Yes." She sounded lascivious, but felt ashamed in his mind.

The responding sharp intake of oxygen made his nostrils flare and he grasped her upper arm, pulling her nearer. Rey collided hard with his chest and dropped the clothes he had brought her.

"Tell me 'yes' once more and I will take you again, here, against this wall." His eyes ran longingly up and down her form. "And this time I won't be so gentle." He growled. Kylo wondered why she liked this. Was it because it made her feel powerless? He didn't think so… she would have had enough of that by now. Maybe she liked the pain? He couldn't be sure. Was she punishing herself for something? That one felt closer to truth. If he was going to be her Master, he would need to understand her better… he reached for her mind and brushed against it curiously. It opened before him, so easy to look into someone who is unaccustomed to their own emotions. What met him quickly tempered his longing for her.

Kylo felt her tremble, physically and mentally, against him. He tucked one of her stray hairs behind her ear and ran the pad of his thumb along her high cheekbone. When Rey closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, he nearly lost his resolve.

"I won't allow you to pretend that I'm forcing myself on you." He told her softly, and he backed away from her.

"I don't know what you mean." Rey gasped. There was a note of genuine confusion to her voice.

Kylo considered her for a moment. It was probably true, she may not understand her own motivations.

"No, perhaps you don't. I can identify your feelings better than you… I've had practice." Rey had lost some of her fire with his words. That was alright, he would restrain himself, if only to keep from being the monster that she wanted so desperately. "Consider, for a moment, that what you feel for me is natural and biological. The hatred, the lust you harbor, will take time for you to process and accept." Kylo stooped to pick up her clothes, and he handed them back to her shaking hands. "You want me to show you force in this to help ease your conscience about your decision. You want to tell yourself you don't have a choice." He sat on the corner of the bed and took a calming breath. "It's tempting for me to give into that, ignore your feelings and your attempt to justify your actions, but I won't submit to that. You do have a choice, Rey."

He knew she was digging through her thoughts and sifting through her feelings, searching for the truth in his words. Her eyebrows had creased and her eyes had gone oddly blank. He stood from the bed and made his way back to the door. He wanted her to feel comforted, Kylo didn't want this to be a refusal of her affection, but a lesson in recognizing and wielding her emotions and motivations. She needed to become more aware of herself and he only just noticed how much younger than him she was.

"As much as I'd like to have you again… I can't. Until you have come to terms with your choices, I won't touch you… I'll leave you to your thoughts." he said as he passed, and he left the room.

When the door closed behind him he readjusted himself and began willing away his arousal. His heart was racing and he shook with the effort to calm himself. It was difficult. Her flesh was a temptation he would have to temper, he told himself. The act of leaving her there, while they were both wanting, was a promising first step. He wouldn't allow her to be a distraction, for both their sakes.

He found R9 in the cockpit, spinning the navigation and control dial. The droid chirped an unreturned greeting as Kylo sat in his pilot's chair. He watched the red scenery pass through the viewing shield, they were approaching a range of mountains. He turned to look at the astromech. "These mountains will do, R9." The unit beeped an affirmative and the shuttle maneuvered lower in preparation to land. Kylo watched through the viewer and spotted a large cave opening in the distance, it seemed large enough for the shuttle to fit. He directed the astromech to set them down there, the cover would help conceal them from any passing search droids. He knew full well that the resistance would know of their flight and would be looking for them, he didn't want to be easy to find.

When the shuttle was set down and the engines had died Kylo got up from his seat and marched back to the sleeping quarters. The door slid open for him. Rey had dressed in the new clothing and was laying on the bed, face down, her shoulders tense and her face hidden in the crook of her arm.

She radiated defeat.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Author's Notes:

Thank you everyone for your patience with my updates, and thank you to everyone who has followed, favorited, and reviewed! I appreciate you guys! As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts.


	5. Apprentice

The cold blankets did nothing to comfort her when she came crashing down on them. She clawed at the white sheets in her self inflicted anguish. She had been so stupid. Her eyes hadn't watered in a week, but they seemed to remember how to weep now. She didn't feel like herself anymore, she could hardly remember the young woman who she had left on Jakku. The creature that now occupied this body was strong, willful, and beyond her control. It frightened her terribly, and try as she may, she couldn't force the demon from her. She sobbed into the crook of her arm until she had no more tears and was empty.

A small part of her noticed they had landed, but she couldn't bring herself to sit and arrange her features into a semblance of composure. She couldn't bring herself to care that he would see her this way… a shell of who she used to be. She thought he might be happy, happy to see he had won, happy to see her broken. She heard the door open and his muffled steps approach, heard him pause, and knew he was standing over her. Watching.

 _"You will not cease being afraid by pretending that your connection with the dark side does not exist. You must conquer your fear and transform it into your strength. Only then can you move forward." His voice pounded through her brain. And it hurt._

She whispered, so quietly that she wasn't sure if the words had left her. "I don't know who I am anymore."

Distantly she was aware of the mattress dipping and his hand coming to rest on her shoulder. The hand forced her to turn over onto her back. She slammed her puffy and red eyes closed, she couldn't bare to look at him. Kylo let out a shaky breath of exasperation before she felt his hands close around her. He took her by the shoulders and lifted her into a sitting position, and then pulled her feet from the bed.

"Look at me?" Kylo asked. Rey felt his hands run down her arms and rest over her hands.

 _"I can't." She told him weakly._

"Open your eyes, and look at your Master." Kylo commanded, tightening his grip on her hands, which had begun to tremble.

She couldn't understand the way he possessed her so completely. She couldn't open her eyes; but they opened in spite of herself. They trained immediately on his steady gaze. She felt his appreciation for her cooperation flowing from him. His eyes were soft, deep brown pools of calm.

 _"There you are." She could feel his mind sweeping through her consciousness. His eyes bore into her, searching. He had isolated a small portion of her mind, Rey had never felt it before this moment. "This, is the emotional control center of your mind." He said, she could feel him drawing her focus to it. It was growing warm. "With practice, you will learn control, you will use this place, here, to channel your fear, hatred, and passion, into a strength that you can wield." He was manipulating the section of her mind, his presence against it made her insides hum and her muscles unclench against her own volition. She felt a surge of relief flooding her veins, the fear and disappointment had been replaced by determination. "That's better."_

 _"I've never felt that piece of myself before."_

 _"You become more aware in time." He lectured her. "Remember that you are the master of your fear, the fear does not control you." He said, and he withdrew from her._

"Come, walk with me." He released her hands and stood. "I have much to teach you, and little time."

Rey rose from the mattress and followed him in silence to the lounge. She watched as he summoned two staves into his open palm. He offered one to her, and she took it with ill disguised unease.

"How did you know I use a staff?" She asked, inspecting the durasteel shaft and its hide-bound grip. She was certain he had never seen her with one.

"I didn't… put on your boots, I'll be back in a moment." Rey felt she wasn't getting the whole truth from him but decided it wasn't important. Why did she care that he had picked a staff anyway? He disappeared into the same room he had retreated to the first night aboard the shuttle. She spared a thought about what might be in there as she scanned the room for the promised footwear. Rey saw the pair of knee-high boots lying on the floor by the loading ramp. She went to sit and pull them on, but found Kylo's helmet in the nearest chair. Rey leaned the staff against the wall and inspected the helmet. It was lighter than she had expected. She turned it over in her hands and looked inside, there was nothing special about the mask that she could see, she glanced to the closed door that he had disappeared behind and threw the helmet to the sofa. She sat quickly and busied herself with pulling on the combat boots. She was losing the feeling of ease and confidence... that trick of his didn't seem to work for long. The boots felt stiff and slightly too small. "You will break them in." he told her, he was walking back down the hallway. Rey saw the blue lightsaber hilt hanging next to the red one on his hip. He grabbed her staff from the wall and pushed it into her hand then collected his helmet. "Let's go." He released the loading ramp and stalked down it, shoving the helmet over his head with one hand and gripping the twin staff in the other.

The cave rock was crimson, and the air was cool and crisp, much nicer than the recycled air offered aboard the shuttle. Rey looked up wonderingly at the cavernous natural ceiling. She thought it was a stroke of luck that he had found a cave opening large enough to house the shuttle. Kylo was making progress toward the mouth of the cavern, but Rey who was overcome by curiosity, jogged to the back of the shuttle and looked up at what was meant to be two standard sublight ion engines. Rey noticed he had somehow managed to add what looked like an old GBk-585 hyperdrive unit, it was ancient but in impressive condition. She knew that the GBk was notoriously only good for one jump after fueling; so he hadn't lied about breaking his ship and leaving them on emergency life support if she had tried to alter their course. It would have left them stranded in space. Kylo was silhouetted by the light behind him, waiting not so patiently for her to catch up. Rey could feel his eyes on her so she turned back and made her way to him.

After a few minutes of walking in uncomfortable silence, Rey asked. "Where did you find the old hyperdrive unit?"

"You won't like the answer." He answered dryly. Rey didn't press him any further, suspecting she believed him. They walked on for several klicks, crossing a small mountain stream but mostly passing dead looking flora as they made their way outward from the cave. After another klick they came into a clearing before a cliff and Kylo stopped. He pulled off his helmet and placed it on a boulder. "This will do." He said, and he kicked his staff up into his hands and twirled it experimentally. Rey found that her knuckles had gone white against her hold on her own staff. She watched him swinging its twin with well practiced grace, his elegant form resembled nothing like how she had learned to swing a staff on Jakku. She thought she would look like a barbarian in comparison.

The thought was driven from her mind when, without warning, he attacked her. She barely ducked out of the way in time. The staff went swooping over her where her head had just been. She lost her balance and he pressed his advantage, swinging the durasteel staff forward and taking a vicious swipe at her legs. Rey narrowly blocked him as she pulled her staff up to protect herself, the clack of the steel split the air. Rey spun her staff as she backed away, moving further into the clearing. Kylo didn't give her the time to get upset that he had attacked her without pretense. He chased her down and struck, jabbed, thrust, and swung his staff relentlessly. Rey was managing to parry and block his attacks, but noticed her retreat had brought her dangerously close to the cliff's edge. She needed to go on the offensive or risk being pushed over. Rey knew that, given the opportunity, he very well may try to drive her over the edge. He was brutal. As he twirled the staff to change hands she saw an opening and exploited it. Rey thrust her staff at his ribs. It almost got him, he had managed to dodge it, but his balance had been compromised. Rey whipped her staff up and slashed it across his exposed torso, hitting him hard. She heard the air escape his lungs with the impact.

Not one to waste time, she ran past him, back into the clearing away from the cliff. When she turned to face him she froze. Kylo had recovered quickly, his jaw was clenched and his dark brows had furrowed in concentration. He was spinning the staff in slow languid movements as he paced toward her. He looked predatory, this wasn't anything like the lightsaber training she had started with Master Luke. She could tell she had struck a nerve, and could feel his determination double. She crouched low and held her staff tucked under her arm, waiting, feeling her chest rise and fall more quickly. He ran at her then, and swung the durasteel staff high, it came hurtling down on her. Rey threw her staff above her with both hands just in time. The resulting clack was deafening, and he pressed hard trying to overpower her. Rey's arms were beginning to tremble under the strain. She could tell he was enjoying this. Kylo retreated several paces and began working up some velocity. Rey jumped up and flourished her staff in front of herself defensively. He struck again.

They sparred ceaselessly for hours, exchanging blows, parrying, blocking, retreating, and advancing. She had wanted to stop to breath on multiple occasions, but he was relentless. Every time she thought she would collapse he somehow managed to find a motivator for her to continue. Kylo had attempted to correct her form and Rey inturn, had forced him to lose some of his own refined technique. They each had been struck several times, though Kylo had come off worse. The sun was making it's final push toward the horizon when he threw his staff down and raised his hands in mock defeat. They were both exhausted and dripping in sweat.

"That's enough for today." He said, catching his labored breath and looking at the sky.

Almost delirious with fatigue, Rey was glad to hear it. She didn't think she had the energy left to fight anymore. Her muscles sung with pain, her lungs burned, and her side and thigh felt swollen where he had hit her. She slumped to the ground and focused on breathing, taking giant gulps of oxygen and closing her eyes. After a while she heard him sit down beside her.

"We need to get back to the shuttle… we may already have been gone too long."

"No one is out here to steal parts off your ship." Rey said in an exhausted sigh, he was being paranoid, his ship was fine. "Surely we can wait for me to catch my breath?"

Kylo chuckled unhumorously in response, then said tentatively, "Those aren't the kind of scavengers I'm worried about."

Rey opened her eyes to look at him, the sky had become noticeably darker in the short amount of time she had rested. Something in his tone was sending her body into high alert. He was scanning the trees with unease and that made her nervous. Her heart began to pound hard again and fresh adrenaline ran sickeningly through her system. She sat up quickly.

"Is someone out there?" She asked quietly, picking up her staff and looking in earnest at the shadowed trees that had drawn his attention. Now that she was thinking about it, she felt something there too.

"No," he answered slowly, "...but something." He squinted slightly and got slowly to his feet, his right hand made it's way to hover over the hilts of his lightsabers. Rey's eyes strained in the half-light. The hair on her arms stood on end, she could feel his alertness washing over her but couldn't see into the trees.

 _"Get up." He ordered, his voice remained quiet and level. "Slowly. It's watching us."_

 **~)o(~**

His eyes were playing a cruel joke. _These creatures shouldn't be here._ Kylo told himself, they were plains dwelling animals. He had specifically chosen the mountains to avoid them… and this one was large for it's kind. Rey mustn't have seen it yet. He had a sobering realization that if he hadn't been centering himself he may not have known it was lurking there either. The beast blended in well among the flora and shadows, but he could see it now; and it clearly could see them. It was watching, unblinking, unstirring. Kylo swallowed hard, he was surprised that it was so quiet, he would have expected that a beast of that size would have alerted them by sound well before getting this close. He knew they would never outrun it, they were too tired, so dashing back to the ship was out of the question. It raised it's head, sniffing the air. And at that moment he knew that Rey had spotted it. She had gasped and he could feel her immediate panic crash against him.

 _"What is it?" She asked in terror._

 _"That, is a Rancor." He told her._

 _"Can we outrun it?" she asked, hopefully._

 _"_ _No, and I'm surprised it hasn't attacked us yet."_

Very slowly, he unhooked the blue lightsaber from his belt and handed it to Rey.

 _"Take this, do not turn it on unless it charges."_

Rey took it with shaking hands and put her staff down silently.

The rancor was sniffing harder now, stretching its neck out toward them. He could hear it now, the wet inhalation and gargled exhalation. It took a step closer, another, it was getting low to the ground and Kylo could see its enormous four fingered hands clenched in anticipation, it's maw hung open, and the small calculating eyes rolled in their deep sockets. He tensed his tired muscles and clutched the hilt of his lightsaber. He should have been more mindful of their sparring, he was sure it had been the sound that had brought it here. He should have noticed the time, this whole situation was his fault.

It lunged from the trees with alarming speed. Barreling into the clearing. Kylo and Rey ignited their lightsabers, the hum that issued from the weapons was overpowered by the blood chilling and gurgling roar. Kylo dashed toward the cliff, avoiding the angry snare of the monster. Rey had flattened herself against the soil, narrowly escaping. The rancor bellowed in fury, and the sound reverberated in his chest. It seemed to have forgotten Rey because it turned it's ugly head to him and snapped threateningly. It's mucus sprayed profusely from it's jaws. He saw Rey pick herself up and dash behind the rancor while it's attention was held by him. Kylo swung the crimson blade around, making it buzz maliciously. The sound seemed to upset the monster, it lurched after him again with its clawed fingers outstretched and grasping. Kylo sunk the blade deep into the palm of the rancor, and it howled in agony. He rolled away from the cliff and ran back to Rey who was visibly shaking.

The rancor rounded and huffed in rage. It shook it's giant skull and charged again, Kylo managed to sidestep it's outstretched hand and swung his lightsaber out, it cut into the rancor's flesh, but Rey hadn't been so lucky. She was exhausted from the long day of physical activity and wasn't fast enough this time. The rancor's outstretched claws grabbed her, encompassing her torso fully, her lightsaber had been disengaged and her arms were crushed at her sides. The beast roared in triumph and was bringing Rey to it's hideous mouth. Kylo was blinded by rage. With the little energy he had left he threw up his hand and willed the beast to release her. The rancor roared as though in pain, but Rey remained in its clutches. The rancor swung it's closed hand trying to snap her neck. He could feel Rey's distress, the creature was crushing the air from her. He tried again, straining hard, he siphoned energy from the near lifeless trees to aid him. His vision was becoming foggy, the pressure in his head was unbearable, but still he willed for Rey to be released. He saw its hand open and Rey fall to the ground in a blur, she was clutching her chest and stumbling away. His grandfather's lightsaber came back to life in her hands and she swung it up and across the wrist of the monster, the hand that had held her fell and the creature howled in agony.

Kylo fought to hold the rancor still as Rey slashed at it again, this time it's leg, and it collapsed in a writhing heap. Flailing it's two uninjured limbs franticly and snapping it's jaws dangerously close to her. Kylo was drained, he had near nothing left to hold it with. He had to finish it, now. He stumbled forward, reignited his lightsaber and jumped, somersaulting through the air and landing on the rancor's thick hide. Kylo fought to keep his balance as he plunged his blade into it's skull. The creature seized and flailed violently, then was still.

He could taste blood. He lifted his hand to his face and felt dampness there, when he pulled his fingers away he saw they were coated in crimson liquid, it was flowing from his nose and dripping onto the slain carnivore. He shook his head trying to clear his vision and held his hand to his nose in an attempt to staunch the flow of blood. He had pushed himself too far.

"Rey." He called out, worried for her. This animal had squeezed her, hard, he had seen how she clutched at her ribs when she fell. Kylo slid ungracefully from the creatures lifeless shoulder. He knew she was there, he could see the blue glow of the lightsaber he had offered her. But everything was still foggy. He moved forward, and tried to will away the fog, it was only a minor improvement. "Rey, are you hurt?" his vision was beginning to clear as he caught his breath. It was dark now.

"I don't know." She answered hesitantly. He could see her staring past him at the animal they had just destroyed, and he could feel her revulsion and uncertainty. He felt the conflict in her that he had felt so strongly this morning. The fog was gone now, as if his head had been plunged into icy water. He realized with a jolt that she still hadn't deactivated the lightsaber, and suddenly his stomach turned over. She looked as though she was contemplating running. He immediately forgot about the blood that was running down his face.

"Hand me the lightsaber, Rey." His voice was suddenly sober. He could see she was shaking, and her eyes darted between him, the blade, and the forested mountain around them. "You don't want to do this." He told her quietly. He was painfully aware of his pounding heart. The world was silent except for the splatter of blood on the soil and their heavy breathing.

"I don't-" She fixed her eyes on him, and a tear stole across her cheek.

"You have nowhere to go, nowhere to hide if another of these beasts comes after you." He wasn't prepared to chase after her, to kill her. He didn't have the strength left. Kylo took a step closer, he was pleading with her now. "Don't make me hurt you, please… I admit, I can't stop you leaving now, but if you run..." He swallowed hard and shook his head, banishing the image of him impaling her with his lightsaber, of her lying lifeless in his bloodstained hands. "If you go, in the morning, I will be forced to hunt you down and there will be no mercy when I find you." He extended his hand, silently asking for her to return the blade. "Don't throw your life away, hand me the lightsaber."

She was silent.

"Rey, you belong with me... I know you feel it too." He growled, desperate now.

"I'm scared." She gasped, and she switched off the blade and dropped it with a clatter. Kylo quickly summoned the blade and hooked it to his belt, he was angry. She had collapsed, and she felt hollow to him now. He was unnerved, his anger ebbing, when he sought her out with the Force and found her, she was unfamiliar. He felt along her mind, prodding slightly to try to discover what was going on in her head and to check if she was injured. He found a lot of hurt, but mostly is was not of the physical variety. The faces of his father, his uncle, and the deserter FN-2187, appeared as ghosts in her mind, and he recoiled as though burned. His anger evaporated and some strength returned to him.

He looked back at the dead rancor, they couldn't remain out here, they needed to return to the shuttle.

"Can you stand?" He asked, taking her elbow in his hand and pulling her up. She stumbled, but remained upright. Kylo summoned his helmet to his hand and replaced it on his head, with his free hand he adjusted the viewer to night vision and everything glowed green. They could come back in the morning to collect the staves. He braced Rey with his arm around her waist and urged her forward in the direction of the ship.

They made slow progress through the trees and across the stream. Rey seemed to have lost the will to live. He sensed nothing from her as they made their way back. When they were a klick away from the shuttle, he set her down on a small boulder and crouched before her. His strength was returning steadily and he willed her to look at him. Her eyelids fluttered open and she gazed at him. He was asking much from her, he knew; it had been long ago when he was turned to the dark, and he realized that he had forgotten how it felt. He needed to give her something of himself if she was going to turn toward him and away from his uncle. He swallowed back his fear and straightened his shoulders.

"I understand," He said confidently to her. "I remember how it feels to turn away from all that you have come to know, and then be asked to forsake everything."

She blinked down at him, he didn't think she believed him.

"I know it is too much of me to ask of you, but please trust that I am looking out for you, trust that I understand what is happening, trust that I care."

Her lip trembled and more tears cascaded down her cheeks. "You killed your father, Ben." She breathed in horror.

His back stiffened at her use of his birth name, she had never called him that aloud before, and the sound of it falling from her lips was fire to his ears. Kylo wasn't going to correct her, if she wanted to call him Ben he would let her, even though there wasn't much of Ben Solo left. He brought his hands to his helmet and removed it slowly, keeping his head down. When he looked up at her, even in the dim moonlight, he knew she could see the tears that had run down his face. Her light came back to her then, he felt it crash around him. Her lips parted as though she wanted to say something, anything. He brought his hands to her cheeks and wiped away her tears. "Yes, I did." he choked out, trying to keep his voice from faltering. His own tears had run tracks through the blood that had dried over his face. "When the time is right, I promise you, I will explain why." He took a steadying breath. "...and when that day comes, I hope you forgive me."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Author's Notes:

Alright guys, Apprentice and the next chapter Assurance, were originally meant to be one chapter; but I decided over 9,000 words would be pushing it in terms of reading in one sitting so I split them up. I hope you continue to enjoy this story, I know I am! I'll be posting the next half some time in the next 24 hours, I just want to proofread it again before I upload it. As always, a special thanks to everyone who has followed, favorited, and especially reviewed! You guys make me want to keep writing. I can hardly believe that I've gotten this far, over 25,000 words, just WOW! So, a big thank you again to everyone!


	6. Assurance

The man kneeling before her was not Kylo Ren. His eyes were shining and the tears that had fallen from them tracked slowly down his face. His hands had come to rest on her cheeks and he had wiped away her tears. He was speaking tenderly to her. This wasn't how a captor spoke to a prisoner, he was telling her something forbidden, and she felt it's gravity weigh heavily on her chest. He closed his eyes releasing another tear, she felt him reaching out for her. She was stunned when she felt the brush of his mind, she knew somehow that this was the real him. Ben Solo wasn't the pitch of night that he so desperately projected, but was more alike to the half-light that glowed on the horizon before dawn. She could feel his torment, his regret, and his sincerity, it was suffocating; it made her eyes sting again. Rey stooped her head and pressed her forehead against his and brought her own hands up to touch his face. This is what she had seen in him last night, it had shone in his eyes.

He looked at her in surprise.

Rey knew that her inability to leave well enough alone would get her into trouble one day. She couldn't abide seeing those around her being treated as less than themselves… almost all the life on Jakku had been abused, no better than slaves in the eyes of the junk bosses, but she had never believed that she was worth so little as the dirt she had been treated as. Though, she had never expected that in saving a little astro droid and returning it to it's master she would have thrown herself out here, where she would find she played a key role in the war. Rey ran her thumb across Ben's face, wiping away the new tear that had escaped him. She had felt this before, and it had frightened her… and he had told her he felt it too… but feeling was so different than seeing. She had feelings for him that she couldn't understand, but they were there and they were strong; and she found she did trust him. Wholey. It was a though a veil had risen and she was seeing him clearly for the first time.

 _"No one can know." his mind echoed into her. The glow in him was retreating, being devoured by his darkness once more._

Rey rocked her head against him in understanding. How had he managed to keep this part of himself hidden from Snoke? She stole her hands from his face and reached for his mask that lay on the ground at her feet. She wasn't conflicted anymore, he was an ally, had always been her ally… the scar that marred his face was proof. Rey pulled her head away from him, and presented him the helmet with steady hands. He took it from her wordlessly and disappeared beneath it once more, and she watched him stand and offer her is hand to help her up; she took it and followed closely.

The shuttle was a welcomed sight to her eyes. Kylo released the loading ramp and followed her up into the ship, closing the loading ramp immediately on his heels while he removed his mask. In the dull glow from the two moons, it had been hard to see anything; but in the light of the ship Rey could see the crusted blood that trailed from his left nostril over his lips and down his chin clearly. He was obviously bothered by it, Kylo started removing blood soaked layers and tossed them into a corner. Rey unbuckled and removed her boots, and placed them neatly by the loading ramp. She was beginning to take note of her body. It ached everywhere… her ribs especially. She removed her belt and peeled the vest coat away from her form. The rolling of her shoulders as she shrugged it off was uncomfortable. She folded it and placed it with her belt on a chair.

"Go clean yourself off." He suggested, breaking the silence. Although the offer was polite, she shook her head 'no'.

"You should go first, I can wait." She said simply, looking again at the blood on his face. He didn't seem to want to argue the finer points of common courtesy with her; he nodded once and disappeared into the sleeping chamber. Shortly after she heard the sonic washer buzz to life. Rey stood in the center of the lounge not sure of what to do with herself. She looked down the hall and her eyes trained on the door she hadn't seen behind yet. She didn't see the harm if she checked it out... and before she knew what she was doing her legs had carried her to the door. It swooshed open upon her approach. Cargo containers were stacked neatly against the walls along with several padlocked cabinets. It didn't look like much, she turned to leave, but when she turned she noticed another door. Her curiosity prickled. She could still hear the sonic running. Rey went to the new door and stood before it expectantly. Nothing happened. She looked at the pad set into the wall. Her hand touched the surface before she thought about it. The pad answered her with a muted low tone and a red blinking light. She hadn't expected it to open. "Alright, I'll go." she said to herself. She left the room and settled on the sofa in the lounge. The sonic washer stopped. Rey stayed where she sat and stretched her tender arms and flexed her sore legs.

She wasn't sure what she had expected when he came back to the lounge to meet her, but it hadn't been him dressed only in a pair of loose fitting pants.

"Your turn." He said, pointing down the hall. She got up and shuffled past him, not making eye contact. She was marginally surprised when he followed after her. "When you undress, hand me your clothes." He said unabashed. "I'll wait outside the door." A blush crept up her neck as she nodded and closed herself in the refresher. She stripped herself quickly and pressed her finger to the door control, the door swished open and she held her hand out with the clothes, keeping her nude body pressed to the wall so he wouldn't see her. His large hand reached for the ball of cloth and took it from her. Rey dropped her hand to her side and pressed the button again, the door closed.

She emptied her bladder, let her hair down, and stepped into the sonic washer. The cleaning sequence began and she stood still under the waves. Her mind went silent. She stood there until the programed time elapsed. Rey felt much better without being covered in grime and sweat when she stepped out of the sonic. She paused before the mirror and took in her appearance. All along her ribs the shadow of a bruise was becoming visible. It made her think of the rancor again; the beast had tried to eat her. If Kylo hadn't… well, she wasn't sure what he had done. She attempted to remember the scene. It was all a little fuzzy, the rancor had squeezed the air from her when it grabbed her and she hadn't been able to breath. She knew Kylo had done something to save her. A knock at the door drove her from her musings and back to the present.

"Are you alright?" Kylo's voice asked, muffled by the door. She must have been lost in her thoughts longer than she thought.

"Yes," she called back to him, "...only thinking."

There was no reply. She was being silly standing here in the refresher only looking at herself in the mirror. She pushed the button to open the door and saw that he was sitting on the bed, his bare and scarred back turned to her. She tried unsuccessfully to push her attraction to him away. Rey told herself that he had seen her naked before, she shouldn't feel so shy about him seeing her again, hiding herself from him minutes ago had been unnecessary. Her eyes flicked down to the dark shirt that was folded neatly on the corner of the mattress nearest her. She made her way out of the refresher and snatched up the shirt. She tried to ignore the jolting pain from her ribs as she forced her head and arms through their respective holes and pulled the bulk of the fabric down to cover herself, the hem reached her mid-thigh. Like a gentleman, he hadn't turned around to glance at her.

"I'm decent." She said meekly, awkwardly folding her arms in front of her. He turned to face her and smoothed out the blanket beside him, a clear invitation to sit. She was exhausted and sitting seemed like a nice idea, but she didn't think she could sit so close to him now. The room already felt warmer and she wasn't ready to be denied by him again so soon. Or had he decided that she had she come to terms with her guilt over her choice to leave the Resistance? It didn't matter. She sat on the corner of the bed and looked away, and pulled her hair up into a loose bun at the nape of her neck. For a moment all was quiet. Then she felt the mattress move and heard Kylo get up from his spot, heard him walk around to her side of the bed, and felt the mattress dip once more. He was close enough that she could feel the heat coming off of his bare skin.

"Your hair looks nice down." He complimented. Rey couldn't help but steal a peek at him, he looked handsome… and a little bruised around the ribs. She felt a bubble of satisfaction rise in her chest. She had hit him several times today and she knew it hadn't been because he let her. She didn't know how to answer him though, what were you meant to say to something like that? Thanks? She froze when his hand came up to the back of her head and untied the ribbon that she had just used to collect her hair. The brown shoulder length locks fell down around her face again. His other hand came up and it traced along her jaw and tucked her hair behind her ear. Her breath caught in her chest and her eyes fluttered shut.

Kylo's hand ran back down her jaw and gently turned her face towards him, then he released her and rested his hand on her shoulder. She felt him lean in closer to her, felt the puff of air that had escaped his lungs warm against her face. Her heart pounded wildly and her chest began to burn from lack of air. She managed to inhale quickly. The smell of him assaulted her senses, he smelled of wet earth, a foreign scent to her until recently. Her fingers dug nervously into the blankets and she squeezed her thighs together in frustration.

"Would you look at me please?" He asked kindly. Rey couldn't imagine denying him, so her eyes snapped open. He was close to her. Rey watched transfixed as his free hand took hers and pulled it over to his lap, and pressed her small palm firmly against his arousal. She gasped in surprise, and he kept his hand over hers. "Look at what you've done to me." His voice was strained. Rey found she couldn't speak, she was too wrapped up in the feel of him. He was hard and throbbing under her touch. His hand squeezed encouragingly over her own. He groaned in frustration when she moved her palm slowly against him, the sound set her blood aflame. "Rey," She tore her eyes from what he was making her do and looked into his face. He pulled her closer and presses his lips hesitantly against hers. Rey melted into him, suddenly boneless. Emboldened by her response, the kiss deepened and became overwhelming. She couldn't breath. He broke their kiss for air and ground himself hard against her palm. " _I want you."_

His words sent her body into a lust filled fog. She became painfully aware of the dampness that was pooling between her thighs and the ache coiling deep in her womb. Kylo pulled her back to him, catching her lips with his. He released her hand and gently urged her to scoot backwards to the center of the bed. She did. With little grace. Rey pulled away from the kiss and traced her hands down his abs, they tensed at her touch. He pressed her chest firmly and she sank down on the mattress. Kylo's hands encouraged her to part her legs and when she did, he moved over her and cradled his hips between her thighs. He rocked his hips forward to meet hers. A soft moan escaped her lips and she felt his body tremble against hers in response. He rocked his hips forward again, harder this time.

"Yes!" she called out to him desperately.

Rey's hands slid down his shoulders, along his ribs and the gentle slope of his waist, finally coming to rest at the waistband of his pants. She curled her fingers under the waistband, and tried to push the offending article down. She didn't make much progress, it was difficult when his hips were moving lazily against hers, and she was slowly losing her mind with need. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and began laying adoring kisses there as one hand glided up under her shirt and drew circles over her hip. She moaned encouragingly. His hand slid further up her side, and without meaning to, she recoiled violently with a gasp of pain.

He tore away from her so quickly she wasn't sure if he had ever been pressed against her. His brown eyes traveled to the hem of her shirt and she felt anger welling up inside him. He sat back on his heels and reached out to pull her shirt away. She clutched his wrist, stopping him. She didn't want him to see what the rancor had done to her. Kylo looked down at her and all the warmth that his eyes had held moments before vanished. He shook her hand from his wrist and pulled the shirt up to look at her properly.

"You told me you weren't hurt." He said angrily; his eyes met hers accusingly. Rey looked down at her ribs, the bruise had darkened considerably. She didn't meet his eyes, choosing to turn her head to the side and become enthralled by the pillows. He was running his palms gently across her ribs, it hurt but she wasn't going to let him see her flinch again. After a moment, his hands retreated to her hips and he spoke to her again. "Rey." He sounded remorseful.

"Mmmnh." It was all she could voice, she didn't want to talk about the attack.

He sounded exasperated, "You should have said-"

"I didn't know I was hurt this badly until I washed." She bit out, resentfully but truthfully.

"I'm sorry." He said simply. "I don't enjoy hurting you."

They held each other's gaze for a moment. The warmth was back in his eyes. "I know." Rey answered quietly. She couldn't ignore the aching between her legs for much longer. She took his hands in her own and dragged them up her stomach and rested them on the swell of her breasts. "Come back." she whispered, arching her back. His chest rumbled and he swiftly grabbed her hips and pulled her into his lap. He pulled the shirt up over her breasts and took one of her nipples into his mouth, it's twin was quickly covered by his hand. With his spare hand he reached between them and swept his finger over her sex and dipped into her wetness. Rey let out a satisfied sigh as he dragged his finger up along her folds and over her sensitive glans where he began rubbing her in gentle circles. Rey tensed and arched into his touch. It was electrifying. She felt the appreciative groan that escaped him against her breast and she felt his hardness straining against her low back. "Want you- now." Rey whimpered between stollen gasps.

He pulled back from her, she hissed at the sudden lack of stimulation from his hand. He enthusiastically pulled her shirt up and over her head and arms, and threw the shirt to the floor. He tore the pants from his legs kicking them off the side of the mattress to join the discarded shirt.

 **~)o(~**

He had been so relieved, had felt so free when they sparred. He hadn't been able to push himself that hard since he had left his knights after the order from Supreme Leader to take up the commanding position aboard the Finalizer. He had been aching for a challenge, and when she struck him hard across the chest and knocked the wind from his lungs he had finally felt alive; he could remember how his blood boiled and fueled his attacks. He had enjoyed the experience so much that the day had dragged on much faster than he had realized. And it had been Rey who paid for his lapse in mindfulness. He had become angry with himself when he discovered she was injured, he had felt along her ribs and suspected that a few were fractured, but thankfully not broken. He blamed himself for her injury, but by the way she was watching him, with flushed cheeks and quivering limbs, he decided that she at least had forgiven him.

The sight of her laid out before him was incredible and he took a moment to drink the image of her in. He wanted to commit every curve to his memory. Wanted to remember the sound of her pleased gasps as he pulled her into his lap and touched her like this. The quiet thudding of her pounding heart in her chest, the taste of her on his tongue. She was arching into his touch and it drove him out of his mind with a need for her too strong to contain. She was strong, smart… and heartbreakingly beautiful in his eyes, though he would never tell her that. He sought to relieve some of his wonderful discomfort by pressing his hips up against her back. He broke when he heard her sweet whimper of 'Want you-now'. He needed to be closer to her but first he had to pull away. She didn't like it when he did, he could feel and hear her hiss of disappointment. She would simply have to wait a moment while he freed them of their clothes.

Kylo quickly pulled the shirt from her and threw it, he didn't know where it landed and it didn't matter, his pants were similarly forgotten. When he turned back to her his heart skipped. In the short amount of time that he had undressed them, her fingers had found themselves stroking slowly along her wet center. While seeing her like that, with her eyes hooded and scanning the expanse of his chest, was a beautiful and intoxicating vision, it would have to be explored another day. Right now he needed her and the idea of her being so bold was doing things to him that he had never experienced before. His erection was throbbing with want and weeping clear pre-cum. He took the wrist of her busy hand and pulled it away from her center and he came over her once more. "That's for me to do." He told her seriously. He pulled her fingers to his lips and gently took them into his mouth, tasting her. She sucked in her breath and tried to pull her hand away from him, embarrassed, but he wasn't having any of her new-found shyness, and increased his grip.

By way of distracting her, he picked up where they had left off. He gently circled the pad of his thumb over her clitorus. She moaned and threw her head back against the mattress and rocked her hips into his touch. He could feel the small contractions of her womanhood as he played with her. He decided he couldn't tease her much longer. Kylo pulled her fingers from his mouth and released her hand, it dropped boneless to her chest. "Turn around." He told her, but she only whimpered and rocked her hips into his touch again. He pulled his hand away and took her hips, flipped her over and pulled her hips up towards him. She was bent over on her knees. He could feel she was embarrassed, could see the pink blush of her skin, she was looking at him uncomfortably over her shoulder. He gripped her hips hard and wedged his knee between her thighs, spreading them, and positioned himself at her core. The wet warmth of her made him feel weak, and his mind cleared of all thoughts but the feel of her beneath him. His right hand slid along the curve of her hip and along her flat abdomen, his fingers found her clitorus again and they swirled languishly over it, eliciting a cry from her, embarrassment forgotten. He could feel her legs shaking. He was overcome by the desire to make her beg. "Ask me." He instructed her as he glided his hips forward slightly, sheathing his tip inside her. She whimpered and tried to push her pelvis back onto him but he held her still.

"Ask for it, or we are done here." Kylo lied in a commanding tone, and he stilled his fingers against her heated flesh.

"Please." was her breathless plea. He bent over her and pressed a kiss to her spine.

"Please?" he encouraged, and he stroked her once as a reminder of what she was missing every second she delayed.

"I need you. Inside. Please." Rey whimpered, before she buried her face in the blankets in humiliation.

He decided that would do and thrust his hips forward and slid smoothly into her tight heat. They both groaned in satisfaction. Her walls clamped hard around him and he began rocking into her slowly while continuing his earlier torture on her swollen clitorus. She was mumbling incoherently into the bed and arching her back, which made him slide deeper into her, and he crashed hard against her cervix. She yelped under him… it was too hard, he pulled back a little. Kylo observed with masculine pride, that he was a little large for her, that it had been too much too soon. He rocked his hips against her carefully now. It was good that he slowed down, she had him wound so tightly before he had entered her that he knew he wouldn't last long; and he was already climbing to his peak. Rey wasn't cooperating with him though, she bucked back against him desperately. He didn't want to cum before her but if she kept this up he wouldn't have a say in the matter. He thrust against her harder and faster to appease her, but the tension inside him was building quickly.

"Rey, I won't last long like this." He warned her.

She either didn't hear him, or she didn't care; he suspected the latter. If anything she rocked back to meet his thrusts with even more determination. Kylo's ears were easing their way toward deafness, and his mind had consolidated its focus on only the feel of her tightness and warmth around him. How it felt to slip from and then plunge firmly back into her again. Rey moaned and ground her hips back against him. The movement made him knock against her cervix again, but she didn't seem to mind now. The firm resistance of her uterine entrance was all he could feel now, it was all he wanted. His grip tightened on her hips, and his attention to her glans wavered.

Kylo knew he shouldn't be finishing inside her, but at the moment that didn't matter to him; in fact now that he contemplated it, he was startled when he found he liked the incredibly selfish idea of getting her pregnant. He thrust harder now, moving with single minded determination toward his inevitable brink. The tension in him was building beyond tolerance. He was distantly aware of Rey's cries of pleasure and her hands twisting in the sheets. He abandoned her clitorus completely and gripped her hips, pulling her back against him. He felt her walls clench around him. He was almost there. He pulled back and slammed into her again, pressing hard. Once more, that's all he needed. He was shaking. Once more, and then bliss. He held his breath, and drew himself back, and brought his hips forward against hers furiously. Everything tensed, he let the sound of his release tear from his throat; and buried himself deep within her as he felt his body convulse violently with his ejaculation, pressing into her harder with every pulse.

When the aftershocks of his climax faded and his hearing was floating back to him he pulled out and slumped over on his back beside her. Rey was panting and trembling on all fours. He turned his head to watch her. He enjoyed the way her breasts hung heavy from her chest, the shape of her parted lips, the way her hair hung in a mess about her face and back, and the gentle curve of her back as it met her pelvis. He knew she hadn't finished, but had been very close. Kylo couldn't leave her like that so with a gentle touch, he took her wrist and pulled her over to him. "Come here." he said boldly, as he patted his chest. Rey blushed wildly and shook her head resolutely 'no'. "I want to taste you." he said firmly and he gave her wrist a small tug of encouragement. He of course wouldn't force her, but his male pride would be wounded if she refused. He pushed his feeling of want to her, hoping it would change her mind. He was glad it worked when with shaking limbs and an expression of deepest humiliation she straddled his chest. "Closer." He pulled her towards his face, he could feel the evidence of their coupling trickle from her onto his chest and it only served to make him more eager to finish her. He pulled his shoulders one at a time under her thighs and held her before him by supporting her butt. He pressed her toward his mouth and rubbed the tip of his nose against her glans teasingly. She stilled in his hands, and he rewarded her with an open mouthed kiss. He immediately decided that he liked her musky taste combined with his saltiness. Rey cried out and grasped for the headboard to brace herself.

She was quivering over him, and he was glad that he had braced her with his hands so that she wouldn't smother him. He lapped eagerly against her, paying special attention to her clitorus. With every breathy sigh against her wetness she shuddered and with each dip of his tongue she moaned in reckless abandon. She had begun to sway her hips against his tongue in short and concentrated movements. He knew she was about to break, and he wanted to share in her bliss. He reached out to her with his mind and wrapped himself around her consciousness. Rey's face split into a tortured grimace, he heard her gasping for air, felt her thighs tense and her hips jerk forward unsteadily, he groaned encouragingly against her, she hung her head with her eyes closed tight. He didn't want the moment to end, he wanted to look at her like this for hours. There was another jerk of her hips. He increased the swirling pressure against her glans and held her more firmly, and then he felt her internal walls convulse rhythmically. He huffed against her appreciatively, and stared up at her as she opened her mouth in a silent scream. He stroked his tongue against her gently with patience as she rode out the waves of her orgasm.

Everything about her vibrated. He felt her strongly in the fabric of the Force, she was as bright as a star. She soon relaxed and he released his hold on her, and Rey with trembling limbs, climbed from his chest and crashed to the disturbed blankets by his side. Kylo was pleased with the sense of complete satisfaction that rolled off of her, the feeling was mutual. He wiped the dampness from his face and rolled to his side. He pulled her against him, wrapping an arm gently around her waist careful to avoid her ribs and splaying his hand over her flat stomach. Silence.

"So much for washing." Rey commented breathlessly. He only pulled her harder against himself at her teasing and the silence resumed comfortably between them. Eventually she began to wriggle in his arms.

"I need to pee." She told him. He didn't want to, but he released her and she slid from the bed, picking up her discarded shirt and retreated into the refresher. After a moment he heard the sonic washer switch on. But more importantly, he heard a subtle beeping coming from the holodesk in the corner. That was odd, the computer had read an error with the subspace antenna. R9 must have repaired it. He rolled quickly off the bed and hurriedly pulled his pants on. It was an incoming transmission. Kylo ran his fingers through his hair and pressed the acceptance button. The miniature likeness of General Hux sprung to life before him and his face had turned from neutrality to a questioning sneer as he took in Kylo's less than professional attire.

"I've caught you at a bad time?" Hux's voice came from the speaker, it was laced with loathing.

"What do you need, General?" Kylo asked, ignoring Hux's imprudent question.

"Only to inform you that we will not be capable of collecting you at the prearranged time." Hux, it would seem was going to make him ask for further information.

"When, then?" Kylo asked, his patience thinning.

The General put on an act of considering Kylo's words. "Your pet project has caused more trouble than she's worth. We sustained heavy loses in the Resistance attack... the one you ran from." The General said, icily and off topic.

Kylo didn't have time for Hux's child-like view of the situation. "I left on direct orders from the Supreme Leader; that should be enough justification for my absence." The General's sneer deepened upon the small blue hologram. "While I understand that the loss of your stormtroopers and starfighters are a deep grievance, it is not for you to decide if the girl is 'more trouble than she's worth'. You are over stepping your jurisdiction in this matter."

Hux was arranging his angry features carefully, and Kylo could imagine the bristling outrage that surrounded him."We will rendezvous with you in twenty standard rotations." The General informed him, finally, in an unpleasant clip. Clearly he had recognized his inability to influence this chain-of-events.

"That won't be a problem. If that is all, General?" Kylo asked, wanting to be rid of the irritant. The General was effectively killing his post orgasmic high.

Hux eyed him with open dislike. "No."

"What else?" Kylo asked in finely practiced veiled agitation.

"The Supreme Leader wishes an audience with you, be prepared for his call tomorrow morning. That is all."

Kylo tipped his head in understanding, "Then I bid you good evening." Kylo said in closing.

Hux nodded once and the transmission ended.

 **-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

Author's Notes:

And there it is, I'm looking forward to reading your thoughts! Thank you to everyone who has followed, favorited, and most of all reviewed… you reviewers make my day!


	7. Accusation

Kylo was alone in the silent cockpit of his shuttle. He was on his knees before the glowing image of his master. "Supreme Leader." He addressed the hologram respectfully. The image of the old man did not respond immediately, preferring instead to look down the bridge of his nose at his successor. Kylo had known the man before him for his entire adult life and yet the frail form of his master had not changed. He was still a deceptively powerful Force-sensitive individual, disguised as a sickly, shriveled old man.

"I trust I find you well." Snoke asked eventually in an uncharacteristically soft but still uncaring tone that was deeply unsettling to Kylo.

"Yes, Master." Kylo Ren answered, bowing his head. His audience with the Supreme Leader had only begun and already he wished for his dismissal.

"General Hux has, on several occasions now, voiced his reservations about the capture and holding of the Resistance's property. He blames the girl's presence aboard the Finalizer for instigating the bold and ill advised attack on our flagship." Snoke said wearily. Kylo knew that he was expected to give an explanation.

"While the girl exchanged hands she alerted the Resistance of her location, she overheard her intended destination." Kylo explained. "As I informed the General, upon his expression of unease, she has since been unable to contact Skywalker; I have monitored her closely and have thwarted all of her attempts."

Snoke blinked patiently at Kylo. "I have dealt with the General. He will from this point forward be uninvolved in this matter. The Resistance was sure to press an attack regardless of the girl's involvement. Our losses were minimal." Snoke said in irritation.

"The Resistance grows desperate, Master." Kylo agreed.

"I tire of talk about the Resistance; what is there to be said of the girl?" The sickened old man demanded pointedly.

Kylo had known that Rey would be the topic of this audience, however knowing hadn't prepared him for his displeasure in reporting on her subjugation; of his unrelenting asphyxiation of her light. Kylo had never sought to oppress any life form, he took no real pleasure in it, much unlike his fellow knights. And for over a decade now, it hadn't been power that he wanted. It was revenge. He took half a moment to collect himself. He must control his thoughts. Kylo replied carefully. "Rey progresses with great promise. She has acquiesced to my training." Then added with false gratification, "With each day she is drawn nearer the darkness and becomes stronger."

Snoke's singular reply stretched out lazily. "Good." The hologram shifted in its throne and a silence blanketed the air. Kylo's attention lingered on the girl sleeping only a room away, he wondered about the condition of her injury. "I wish to see your face, Kylo Ren." Snoke commanded sharply. The command immediately drew him from his thoughts of Rey.

Kylo lifted his head at once and looked into the virtual eyes of his master. Snoke's expression had always been difficult for him to read, especially so, when viewed as a hologram. He knew only too well that the same did not hold true for his master's perceived ability in reading him.

"I sense you have formed a strong attachment to her…" The words felt like a trap and hung dangerously around him.

"She is engaging and capable." Kylo offered, stuffing down his true feelings for her; buried so deep within himself that even he forgot how much she meant to him, allowing only his attraction to her remain on the surface.

"Yes." Snoke agreed cruelly. "You cannot disguise your feelings from me. Already, she means more to you than a simple apprentice." He chuckled.

"I have shown her affection to sow seeds of darkness within her, to coax her away from the light." Kylo explained. "I don't deny my pleasure in doing so." Kylo finished confidently, and with well practiced discipline, he didn't allow himself to feel the churning of bile in his stomach at his words.

"Does she harbor the same desire for you?" He asked Kylo dryly.

He was silent for a moment. "My ardor is returned by her, Supreme Leader."

Snoke smiled darkly and relaxed into his throne. "She will make a suitable match for you."

Kylo remained silent.

"Your brothers will welcome the sight of you, and their new sister, upon your return." Snoke informed him dully. Kylo was relieved that they were moving away from the topic of Rey… he hadn't liked where the conversation had been leading.

Kylo nodded in agreement. "I have been gone too long."

"Yes. You will remain on Dathomir only a short time longer and then you will return to me." Snoke agreed tiredly. He looked to have grown bored of their conversation. "Your report pleases me. I leave you to your work."

"Thank you, Supreme Leader." Kylo said, bowing his head once more.

The transmission ended abruptly.

Kylo began to allow himself to feel the rage and disgust at the thought of the Knights of Ren being allowed anywhere near Rey. They were power drunk and corrupted filth, they knew nothing of the true way of the dark side. He got back to his feet and stood for a moment, thinking, in the silent cockpit. Snoke's enthusiasm over the discovery of Kylo's intimacies with Rey had been a bucket of cold water to his longing for her. He was sure that the Supreme Leader had plans for them, and the idea left a bitter taste on his tongue.

R9 was tucked away on low power in the corner and Rey was sleeping soundly in the sleeping cabin. He hadn't restrained her to the bed yesterday evening, it no longer felt necessary. He had taken to the sofa to sleep; half out of a desire to distance himself from her before his audience with Snoke and half out of a desire not to keep her awake as he had the previous night. His nightmares were becoming more frequent. He didn't want Rey to see him like that again, it had been humiliating. Kylo briefly considered leaving the ship to dispose of the rancor corpse and to collect the durasteel staves, but he didn't want Rey to wake up alone. After a moments quiet contemplation, Kylo made his way to the galley and prepared breakfast, he hadn't eaten since the morning before, he realized. He ate quickly and went to wake Rey, she had slept long enough and there was work to be done.

Rey was sprawled on the bed with her hair fanned out in a mess about the pillow and clinging to her peaceful face. He didn't indulge himself by watching her rest, she needed to wake up so he could get on with the day. That and he needed to see what could be done about her ribs. Kylo stood at the foot of the bed and whispered to her.

"Rey."

She woke with a start, sat up quickly, gasped in pain, then hunched forward clutching helplessly at her sides. He could feel her pain pulse violently towards him. "I should take another look at you." He told her as he made his way to her side and sat. He placed the food he had brought her on the small table that jutted from the wall beside the mattress. She wasn't listening to him, too caught up in her discomfort. Kylo reached out for her shoulder and eased her back to the mattress. "Let me see." When he fingered the hem of her shirt she didn't protest so he pulled it gingerly up over her torso revealing swollen inky blotches along both her sides.

"It's bad?" Rey asked, with her head thrown back and eyes screwed shut.

"It's not good." Kylo assessed calmly. She hissed in discomfort and flinched away from his palm when he laid it against the ugly bruise. "I'm certain it fractured your ribs."

He tired of seeing her bruised and battered.

"It hurts to breathe." Rey huffed with a shallow breath.

Kylo removed his hand and considered her. She wouldn't be able to do any physical training until she healed. And she needed to learn much more before he took her with him to rejoin his master. The situation was less than desirable. He knew he could attempt to speed along her recovery with the Force, though it had been a long time since he had learned the technique. It wasn't something that the Supreme Leader had focused on, but Kylo thought he remembered the practice with his uncle well enough to be successful. When he mentioned the idea to her he filled his voice with false confidence.

"I can speed your recovery with the Force." He told her.

"Liar." Rey spat, disbelieving.

Kylo nodded once, half in agreement half in indignation, and beckoned her nearer. "Come sit on the edge of the bed." He got off the bed and knelt on the floor. Rey rolled to her side with a wince and scooted to the edge of the mattress, sitting with her legs draped over the side in front of him. She gave him the impression that she was only humoring him. He pulled her shirt gingerly from her and lay the fabric by her side. He traced his calloused fingers along her ribs with the gentleness he showed nothing and no one else. As he took in the damage once more he decided to make this a lesson.

"Come into my mind and I will show you." Kylo instructed her.

He could sense the curious threads of Rey's consciousness wrap around him and he allowed her in. He felt her light flooding into him and recognized her goodnatured but pretend attention as one showed a child.

He placed his hands over her bruised sides and began to bring his focus to the flesh that encompassed the injured ribs. He felt out for her swollen muscles, broken veins, and cracked bones, and became aware of them. Kylo narrowed his focus and felt out to touch the Force that swirled around them. He allowed his feelings of attachment for Rey fill him and the darkness welcomed him, it pulled him into its infiniteness, and it filled him with strength. He urged the Force through himself and into Rey. He willed for her to be whole again, willed her injured ribs to knit back together, willed her veins restored, willed for the Purple stains that stretched across her body to fade away into her tan flesh. He felt his hands become warm and was distantly aware of Rey's discomfort. He was aware of her attention to his actions strengthen. He maintained his focus, willed for her to be whole, for her ribs to mend, for her blotched skin to fade while he slowly stroked her sides. When he pulled away from her his breathing was unsteady and sweat beaded at his brow. He inspected his work. Her bruised flesh had faded into an ugly shade of green, it looked much better.

"How does it feel?" He questioned, when he saw her give a tentative twist of her body and take a deep breath.

"Itchy." Rey admitted quietly, while she prodded at the green blemish on her side. "It's much better. Thank you." Her mind slipped from his.

Kylo swallowed, "You're welcome. Now, eat this and dress. I'll wait for you in the lounge for meditation." He handed her the food he had made, left the room, and settled himself in his preferred meditative pose. He had fallen deep into himself quickly; so far that he hadn't noticed Rey until she had sat down beside him. He noticed vaguely that her presence had a calming effect on him; he hadn't felt his temper flare in the last week. He couldn't decide if he liked his new temperament or not.

Her mind was teeming with curiosity, it prickled at his senses and quickly became distracting.

There it was, his temper had begun to stir.

"Empty your mind of questions and focus." He scolded her harshly. He felt her mental recoil at his words.

"I'm sorry." She replied meekly.

Her mind quieted, but it wasn't long before her bristling consciousness continued to grate upon his nerves again. Kylo sighed in irritation. He pulled himself from the darkness and looked at her. She had arranged herself identically to himself although she was wearing a troubled expression, her brows pressed together harshly, and she held her bottom lip between her teeth as though holding off her desire to ask him questions. He turned silently toward her, reached out with his pointer finger and pressed it firmly between her scrunched eyebrows, holding it there. She opened her eyes in alarm.

"If I answer your questions, will you be able to focus?" he asked in defeat.

"Yes."

"Ask, then." He pulled his accusing finger away from her brow and immediately regretted accepting her questions.

"Who taught you that healing trick?"

He despised his answer. "My uncle."

Rey must have felt his loathing because she became quiet and looked into her lap. "I thought you had to choose…" She began, then trailed off, training her eyes on him again.

"The dark and light side of the Force are merely opposites. The light side, which radiates strongly from you, has traditionally been used by Jedi. It is accessed best by the lack of feeling extreme emotion, of avoiding attachment, and is used most effectively in defense. The dark side, which is most present in myself, has been practiced traditionally by the Sith. It is accessed by the presence of feeling extreme emotion, of the formation or breaking of attachment, and is used most effectively in offense." Kylo thought on his explanation a moment longer before continuing. "Just as certainly as there are two sides of the Force, there are also two sides to each individual being in the universe. We are all varying shades of gray, Rey. Capable of both but stronger in one. Simply because I initially learned how to heal using the light side, does not mean I forfeited my knowledge when I began my path toward the darkness, I am able to achieve Force healing by using the dark side of the Force even though it is unconventional."

Rey sat quietly, but her mind was swimming with still more questions. He realized he hadn't been ready to answer her, he needed time to think on how much he could tell her safely. Kylo thought perhaps now would be a good time to collect the staves and dispose of the rancor. He got to his feet, earning a confused look from Rey.

"Where are you going? I have more questions." She protested, as she began to get up.

Kylo threw his hand out toward her and held her still. "Stay here, empty your mind. I've had enough of your questions for now. I am going to collect our staves and clean up our mess from last night. When I return, we will practice restraining objects and opponents with the Force." He released her and she sank back to the floor. He pulled on his boots and snatched up his helmet, and with one last look at her he was gone down the loading ramp.

 **~)o(~**

Emptying her mind wasn't any easier without him sitting next to her. This morning had birthed many questions about him. She wanted to know him, know why had he done the things that he had done. He had mentioned the beginning of his path toward the darkness, and she wanted to know more. Rey found she couldn't imagine Ben as a young person. She had been told of his terrible deeds by Master Luke, she knew he had slaughtered his fellow students on Yavin 4, knew that he had betrayed his uncle entirely for power, knew that he had murdered his father. But she wanted to understand him and his side of the story, his motivations, how had he been turned away from Master Skywalker… what had been the catalyst for his betrayal? She was losing her focus again. Rey practiced her breathing technique to calm her tumultuous mind. When calm had been restored she reached out into the Force and lost herself to it.

There was a tug on her. It was familiar, warm and gentle and kind. Rey fought to meet the tugging sensation. She ran along the tiny connection and found herself again at the chasm she had discovered only a week previously. Rey was overjoyed at having found it again, she hadn't been able to find it since Kylo had gotten hold of her, but all of that didn't matter now. Across the void she could sense him, Master Luke had found her. Rey opened her mind and called out to him and found herself wishing he had found her sooner.

Elation. Luke's consciousness swam out to meet her own and it felt like a warm embrace. It was everything that she imagined a father's hug would be. She had almost forgotten how bright he was, it was blinding.

 _"Rey, I'm relieved to find you in one piece." He told her._

 _"Ben prevented me from contacting you." Rey explained, hurriedly. "I'm sorry, I don't know how… I tried reaching for you everyday." Rey grew silent for a moment, remembering where she was, everything that had happened, who she was here with. "I fear I have failed you Master."_

 _"How so?" Luke humored her._

 _"I've, Ben and I, we've…" she trailed off, too ashamed in the face of her Master to name what she had done. Willingly, gladly, she herself had instigated the whole affair._

 _Luke was quite a long moment before speaking again, and Rey knew that he understood what had happened. "I see." Luke's demeanor changed, Rey could feel his chagrin at her admission. "Did Ben hurt you?"_

 _Rey flushed then stammered in deep embarrassment. "No. No it wasn't anything like that at all. He hasn't laid an unwelcome hand on me."_

 _He said nothing for a time. She could clearly picture his intense, bright blue eyes and how she was sure they shone with worry._

 _Rey broke the silence. "I feel a strong attachment to him that I can't explain, I'm sorry, but I don't have a choice in this… I can't continue as your padawan." She wanted to cry at her confession._

 _"If that is truly how you feel, then I cannot change your mind. Love is not forbidden. The joining of two souls, a marriage, or a family is to be celebrated." Luke's mind was contemplative._

 _Rey was taken aback by Luke's words. "I had thought those were forbidden by the Jedi. In the history-"_

 _"When I came to Ach-to in search for the first Jedi temple, I came across some enlightening text. The vows of chastity that were taken by the Jedi Knights of the Old Republic, were a relatively new idea; being that a marriage or family could become cause to turn to the dark side out of a desire to protect them. It wasn't always so. Originally, Jedi were encouraged to begin families and to pursue love with openness of mind."_

 _Rey was surprised by this. "And do you believe that love will drive one to the dark side?"_

 _"It unfortunately drove my father to the darkness, though I believe that it was the secrecy that shrouded the affair that catalyzed the events surrounding the rise of Darth Vader."_

 _This made Rey think if Kylo, he was shrouded in secrecy also. "He's different somehow, Ben isn't the same man I met those months ago." She wasn't sure why she was telling Luke this._

 _Luke's interest in her words rippled excitedly from him. "Different. How exactly?" He sounded hopeful. "What could my nephew have done to gain your trust so wholly?"_

 _Rey was about to answer when she remembered Ben's face in the moonlight, silent tears streaming down his face. The moment had been personal, intimate, it wasn't meant to be shared. Rey hoped that Master Luke… no, Luke, he was no longer her Master, would understand and forgive her._

 _"I'm sorry, I can't explain." Rey replied quietly. It was only a matter of time before Kylo would find out she had spoken to Luke and then only a moment more to find if she had been loyal; this whole conversation would determine if he would ever trust her again. Trust aside, she wanted to keep his secrets._

 _"You can't or you won't?" Luke's question wasn't angry or hurt, it was simple curiosity._

 _"I won't." Rey answered firmly. "I'm sorry."_

 _She felt that he forgave her instantly. She could almost see his reluctant smile. He seemed unusually happy for a Jedi who had just lost their padawan to a Sith Lord… this was a facet of Luke's personality she hadn't experienced._

 _"Should the Resistance continue its search for you? Are you safe?" He asked seriously._

 _"No, don't come looking for us. I can feel the Force pulling me to him, I have to stay." She said, "I'm safe."_

 _"I will convince my sister to call back the search droids." Luke promised._

 _"You aren't disappointed?" It was half a question, half a statement._

 _"If what you have said is true, and I believe it is, then there is more hope in this universe than I had thought. I could not be disappointed with you, Rey." He informed her comfortingly. "The life of a Jedi is road few travel; know that we remain friends regardless of the path you choose to walk, and with whom you walk it with."_

 _Rey shared her gratitude with him. Not only for his teachings, but also for his kind words of understanding and friendship._

 _She felt as though he was fading._

 _"My nephew appears to have found me out." Luke said grimly._

 _"Be safe." Rey wished him, she knew this could be the last time she would speak to him._

 _"I am confident we will see each other again." Luke said as though he had heard her thoughts. "May the Force be with you, Rey."_

 _"May the Force be with you." She echoed._

 _As a ghost he vanished._

Just as quickly as Luke's warmth disappeared, Rey felt Kylo's anger grow and pulse through her. He had definitely noticed that she had spoken to Luke and she knew he was coming back to her. She didn't have much time to pull herself together. She hastened from the sleeping cabin and settled herself on the sofa and waited for him. She knew he wouldn't be long, she could tell he was running back, and he was furious. Rey attempted to compose herself, she thought desperately of what she would say to him, what she would do.

He felt dangerous.

It wasn't long before the loading ramp slid from the hull and Kylo appeared in the lounge. He had kept his mask on and he looked at her. She didn't need to see his face to know he wore a scowl.

"What have you done?" He demanded, trembling from his poorly contained rage. She felt his sour pain of betrayal lying thick over his presence.

 **~)o(~**

"I've done nothing wrong." She sank back into the sofa defensively. Kylo felt her fear of him seep from her halfhearted guard. He slammed his fist into the loading ramp control button and the ramp closed behind him. He was livid. Kylo closed the distance between them in three strides and loomed over her on the sofa. Rey pulled her legs up to her chest and held them tighter against herself. Her hazel colored eyes looked up to him from behind long lashes.

"Don't lie to me." He growled, and he bent over her bracing himself by gripping the arm of the sofa. His masked face drew close to hers. How could someone so small cause so much trouble? She had betrayed him and the rage born of her betrayal wound inside him tighter, he ground his teeth together, suppressing his urge to destroy. In a matter of hours, perhaps a day, there would be starfighters coming to retrieve her. She was too important, and if the First Order couldn't have her… if he couldn't have her, then no one would. He was resisting the urge to hit her and he hated himself for it. He felt the light brush of her mind against him. _How dare she? After he had shown her who he was! No, after this she wasn't welcome there anymore._ He threw her mind away from his with venomous outrage. "No. You stay out." his voice shook.

She reached out for him with her small hands and placed them gently on his chest and she closed her eyes. Before he could push her hands off of him she spoke. "You can take whatever you want." she breathed out quietly. He wasn't sure he had heard her correctly and it gave him pause. All of her barriers come crashing down. She was opening her mind to him. He froze in shock, this isn't what he expected. "Please," She said softly, "Take whatever you want. I won't stop you." Her hands slid up his chest and his mask hissed as she released it. He wasn't sure what was happening. Her trembling hands lifted the helmet over his head and she dropped it by her side. Her light was blinding him. His mask was laying beside her and she got slowly to her knees before him. She pulled his head down to meet her brow and then let go of him. His anger was being washed away by his surprise. He sank down before her and sat on the small table. He could see her, all of who she was, swirling within her. He brought his hands to her head and held her forehead against his own. "I haven't betrayed you."

He desperately wanted to believe her. Her eyes were pleading and he noticed her lower lip tremble. Kylo reached out and sifted through her mind as though it were a holocron. He found her interaction with Skywalker. Kylo saw that they had spoken as friends, that she had asked that the Resistance break off it's attempts of locating them. Relief was flooding his veins. She had kept his secret, Luke had asked specifically and she had not told him. He became aware of a different memory, one he had fought for and failed to retrieve from her in the past. She had pushed the memory of the map toward him, offering it gladly. Kylo was overwhelmed.

"Ben?" Her hand came up and rested against his face.

He leaned back and took a steadying breath. "I thought…" He wasn't sure how to apologize, he hadn't had much practice. "I was wrong." He finished lamely.

"I knew you would be angry."

Kylo dragged his thumb across her cheek. "I overreacted."

"Just a little." Rey agreed, leaning into his touch. She covered his hand with her own and held their intwined fingers to her face. "Are we okay now?"

Kylo nodded his head. "Yes." Her ready smile split across her face and it made his heart break. What was wrong with him? The thought ran through him like poison. Rey was beautiful and wonderful and… she hadn't actually hurt him at all. She deserved someone better but that didn't stop his next request. "Come here." He pulled her from the sofa into his lap and cradled her against his chest. "I'm sorry." He whispered into her ear and placed a chaste kiss to the crown of her head. "It won't happen again." The promise was more to himself than to Rey.

She felt warm and her weight was comforting against him. He didn't deserve it, he didn't deserve her, not for one moment. She rested her head in the crook of his neck. He liked her there. He thought about how she could have escaped; he had been gone no one would have stopped her. She could have been on her way to freedom. He ran his fingers through her hair slowly and considered what Rey had let him see. A hopeful thought crossed his mind. _Perhaps she no longer feels trapped or held captive._ The image of the map to his uncle replayed in his mind. She didn't need to show him that. His hand stilled in her loose hair. He couldn't help the question. "Why did you show me the map?"

She looked up at him and he felt her confusion. "Because I wanted to." She answered.

"Why did you want to?"

"Because you shared something you weren't meant to with me." Rey pressed her face against his collar.

The sorrow that built up inside his chest at her words made him pull her more tightly against his chest. His throat threatened to close and suddenly he felt as though he had no strength left in his body. He was instantly too full of emotion. The months of his nightmares came pouring back to him and he began to shake; what he was feeling hurt far more than the ghosts of his haunted dreams ever had. His eyes burned with grief and he tried to blink the thick emotion away, but only tears fell from him. Rey had gone still in his lap and his grip on her loosened. She met his downcast eyes and upon gazing into his face her own eyes filled with a gentleness he had never seen. Rey had moved quickly and Kylo could feel her arm wrap around his side and rest against his back. She ran her palm soothingly along his spine and her other hand came and rested at the base of his skull. She pulled his head down to rest against her shoulder.

He breathed in her scent and his arms tightened against her again. Without consent or warning, his tears began to flow. He had never felt this vulnerable. It was all together frightening, and entirely freeing at the same time. Kylo lost himself in the feel of Rey against him and in the warm saline that spilled across his face. Lost in how her hand glided soothingly across his back and shoulders. He had never allowed himself to feel this way. Kylo had always thought this emotion was a weakness, but now that he fell further into his sadness, his regret, and his despair, he became aware of something deeper. Something more powerful than he had felt before. It was at the same time familiar and foreign. It was darkness as he had never known it; and it flowed through him.

 **-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

Author's Notes:

Hello everyone, I would like to apologize for the slow update. It gets harder and harder to find the time and energy to write, but I am aiming for a chapter a week at this point and hope you guys will bare with me. I've also gone back through the last chapters and fixed some small inconsistencies that I noticed on a re-read, so the story should read a little cleaner now.

As always, thank you to everyone who has read, favorited, followed, and most especially reviewed. You guys are awesome and I really appreciate your continued support!


	8. Accomplice

Dark storm clouds on the horizon obscured Yavin, the burnt umber gas giant they orbited. Ben slouched in a wooden chair and leaned against the ancient stone exterior of the repurposed complex that now served as the Jedi academy. The early evening air bore a blissfully cool breeze and the small indigenous lifeforms of Yavin 4 were beginning to sing and chirp into the growing darkness. He had come outside to center himself and the gathering moisture in the air was refreshing against his face as he relaxed. His eyes slipped without comprehension over the virtual blue pages of the holobook in his hands; he had read this historical account of his grandfather more times than he could count, but this evening he was so absorbed in the finer details of the task given to him that the words did little to distract or remind him of how he had gotten to this point. He didn't look up at the sound of a docking ship in the distance. He thought confidently on the fact that everything was going as planned and how the storm was a welcome, although unplanned development.

"Ben!"

His eyes flew from his holobook and in the direction of the familiar voice that had called him. He nearly overturned his chair when he hurriedly got to his feet. Ben hadn't seen her in nearly eight months. Unlike the storm she wasn't welcome; she wasn't supposed to be here. He walked quickly to meet the woman who had called out to him.

"Mother." He greeted curtly. Ben swallowed down his new sense of reservation, the sight of her made him question everything, but he silently assured himself that he was ready and that he wouldn't allow this hiccup to interfere with the plan. The task that was entrusted to him was far too important and the galaxy would be better for it. He would be instrumental in bringing balance. "I didn't know you were coming." He said as he reluctantly accepted and returned his mother's embrace. She released him and took a step back to assess him with an approving smile. He also took the sight of her in and thought that she looked smaller, if that were possible.

"You're like your father." She goaded. "If you cared to answer your subspace communications you would have known I was coming."

"Where is father?" Ben asked curiously, dodging the offensive accusation… he was nothing like Han Solo.

"The last I heard, he was on Dantooine." She answered. He could sense the tang of annoyance seeping from her. He knew only too well, having spent his childhood listening to her ranting, how she hated when his father left to go smuggling. She loved Chewbacca as family of course but she didn't care for the danger that the two seemed to actively seek when together. Leia pulled his attention back to her after a quick moment. "I wouldn't have come except I had business on Ruuria. You were along the way so I stopped to see your face." Ben gave her an unmissed expression of doubt; he always knew when people were less than truthful. "Also, I urgently need to speak with your uncle, where is he?" She admitted, "but I'm very glad to see you." she added quickly.

Ben wondered what had happened of importance that made her feel it was necessary to speak with master Luke in person when she could have easily reached him by subspace. He knew she wouldn't tell him anything so he ignored the urge to inquire about the news and asked instead about her visit to Ruuria. "What business did you have on Ruuria?"

"I'm sorry Ben, I can't tell you." She chided, and Ben knew then that it was Resistance business. "Now let me look at you." Her hands reached up to his face, she looked him in the eyes and studied him, running her thumb over the evening shadow along his jaw. Ben arranged his features into a falsely pleasant expression under her scrutiny. "You've grown." She smiled, but the warmth didn't reach her eyes. Ben noticed how her face had begun to line with worry and her neatly done hair had become flecked with gray."Where is your uncle?" She asked again seriously as she released him. Ben could tell that the news was troubling her and his heart pumped more quickly as he thought furiously about this evening's planned treachery. He reassured himself that there was no way she could know and thought it would be best if he monitored her visit closely. He hoped, for the first time with her visits, that she planned to leave quickly.

"I could show you to him." Ben offered.

"That isn't necessary-"

"I would like to take you." He insisted. "You may get lost." Before she could reject his proposal he pulled on his mother's elbow and led her inside away from the quickly darkening sky and down a dimly lit corridor. Ben reached out with the Force to locate his uncle. He discovered him in the counsel room and led his mother in that direction. "You've come just in time. Master Skywalker is leaving this evening." He didn't miss the stab of irritation that his words drew from her. It vexed her when he called his uncle 'Master Skywalker' instead of 'Luke'. Ben rationalized that since Luke had never treated him any differently from the other students here, that it was fitting to treat his uncle the same as any other student would.

"Why? Where is he going?" She sounded unduly alarmed and he wondered again if she might know about what he and the others planned to do in his uncle's absence. She halted in the corridor and considered him more thoroughly.

"You know I'm not at liberty to discuss Jedi business with you." He shot back at her with feigned levity. He needed to be careful about his emotions around her. It was easy to forget that she had been the one from whom he inherited his Force-sensitivity. His mother could sense his emotions, but to a lesser extent than himself and Luke. He must have been convincing because she restrained a smile that tugged at her lips and Ben felt her affection for him through the Force. Along with his father's ability to ignore communications, he had inherited his mother's quick wit and disregard of decorum.

They walked in silence through the sprawling torch-lit halls of the academy. They passed a courtyard where two newly graduated Jedi were practicing Shein forms. The blades glowed furiously in the dark and cackled when they struck against each other. Ben watched them wearily as they passed and was glad that they would be leaving tonight with Luke. He thought of his own lightsaber, which he had made in secret, that was tucked away safely in his quarters. The weapon looked crude in comparison with these blue and green hued blades, but it did it's job and suited his needs. The savage way it crackled and sparked was fitting with his personality and the vented hilt, although ancient in design, was incredibly useful in protecting one's hand and gave an advantage when locked in combat. With the echoing cracking and hissing of the lightsabers fading away and the first rumble of thunder in the distance he reminded himself that he was ready for this final step in his conversion. He wasn't destined to be a Jedi, he was destined to follow his grandfather and to finish the work he had started. His path began here. Tonight. He spared a glance toward his mother; the lines that crossed her face deepened and her lips had been drawn tightly together.

Ben was eager to see her off-planet. They were very different people now, himself more so than her, he thought. The previous six months had awoken something in him that had been stifled, starved, but always present. With his master's guidance - his real master - he had been nursing it back to strength, by tomorrow it would be strong… he would be strong and take his rightful place alongside the true ruler of the Galaxy. Supreme Leader had taught him well in the art of disguising one's intentions; as testament to his training, Luke had no idea that Ben planned to betray him. The simple truth of this furthered Ben's trust in the Dark side: it was more powerful than the Light.

Further along into the structure a small weary eyed group ceased a tense whispered conversation at their approach and watched them with ill disguised interest as they passed. Ben shared his displeasure with the conspicuous three through the Force and they shrank back into the shadowed archway with averted gazes. He would have harsh words for the fools later, but now he needed to focus on correcting their mutual problem. His mother needed to leave. He rounded a corner and came to stop before a large wooden door.

"Master Skywalker is in there." He gestured his hand casually, manipulating the door, and it swung open silently on well oiled hinges.

"Thank you, Ben."

Ben bowed his head respectfully. "Will I be seeing you over dinner?" He succeeded in sounding hopeful.

"I'm afraid not, we're on a tight schedule." Ben was inwardly relieved by the news, but managed to place a look of mild disappointment across his features.

"I'm sorry to hear that." He lied. "Will I see you before you go?" Ben didn't need to fake his hopefulness in this last question.

She pulled him into another embrace and squeezed. "I don't expect so, but I promise to visit again soon." She assured him. A small part of Ben cringed with guilt. He knew that he wouldn't be seeing her again, at least not as friends, she would never understand what he was about to do. She wouldn't understand why he had to go. He returned her embrace filled with a sense of closure. "I love you." She told him, her words hung heavy on his heart and he knew that if he didn't tell her now he would never forgive himself.

"I know, I love you too." He squeezed more tightly and then released her.

She smiled sadly up at him, patted his shoulder affectionately, and then disappeared into the dark room beyond the doors. Ben waited patiently for her to cross the threshold before closing the doors once more. He thoroughly assessed his surroundings. After reaching his mind in all directions, and discovering no one within sight or hearing, he focused his attention to the exposed rafters. He was determined to hear the news that she had brought for his uncle, he was sure it would be insightful. Ben jumped and with the assistance of the Force he landed silent as a shadow upon the wooden beam directly above. The vaulted ceilings of the academy offered a well concealed haven for eavesdroppers, Ben had explored and exploited them many times over the years. He pressed his back against the cool stone wall and allowed his consciousness to drift far from himself and into the counsel room. He sat still and cleared his mind, willing a Force vision of the present to pull him in, a vision of the room that lay beyond the door below. With a heavy exhale and deep intake of air through his nose a fog began to rise in his mind.

 _Dark colors began to swirl lazily behind his eyelids. The smell of baked sand filled his nostrils and the darkness wove within a bright light. This wasn't what he was searching for so he tried to push the vision to the side; it remained firm and developed more clearly. He was pulled away from the damp cool air of Yavin 4 and immersed within a heat he had experienced only a few times before. The light was overwhelming the darkness and he studied the emerging imagery. He had seen this place the last several times he had attempted farseeing, it was a graveyard that was haunted by an unknown entity. He considered the wasted remains of a downed stardestroyer that loomed ominously in the distant dunes. The entity was here again and he could feel its presence against his own. Ben instinctively knew that he and this entity were somehow intertwined in the Force... but he could ponder the reoccurring vision at a later time. It was confusing, but most importantly it was not where he wanted to be at the moment._

 _He shoved firmly this time to dislodge the vision. The colors rippled and became dark once more. The smell of hot sand vanished mercifully to be replaced by cool air and wet earth. He clawed forward and imagined himself sitting in the room beyond the closed door. He knew the room well, he shared his morning meditation each day within its cavernous hall. The memory of the meditations swept the smoky colors aside and the room swam into his mind. His mother was sitting across from his uncle. Luke's face creased the same way as his mother's had earlier. Their lips were moving but he couldn't hear the words passed between them. Luke hung and shook his head slowly, there was sadness in his blue eyes. He was asking a question. He couldn't see his mother's face but knew she had answered. Then the blue eyes held shock. Ben needed to know what they were saying; he threw himself against the fabric of the Force willing to hear. The result was akin to hearing someone through water but it sufficed._

"There were no survivors?" Luke asked.

Leia deflated sadly, "No." She pulled a torn and folded piece of blood red cloth from her sleeve and held it out to Luke. He took it gingerly from her hands and unfolded it. "This was left behind, maybe you have seen it before?" She asked hopefully.

Ben's heart lept unpleasantly when he saw the worn emblem that contrasted against the fabric. A black hexagon bordered a central circle with sixteen points shooting inward. It was the emblem of the First Order. It didn't make sense, they hadn't planned an attack so soon.

Color drained from Luke's face and he spoke softly, Ben strained harder to catch his words. "I have seen this symbol before," he admitted, "in a vision; but I'm afraid it raises questions and answers none. I don't know who is behind the attack, Leia. It is shrouded in the darkness to me." He handed the fabric back to her.

"They are organized and growing in number everyday. We have been receiving a steady stream of reports." She told him. Luke's brow furrowed. "They need to be taken seriously, they could rise like the old Empire if we are not careful. Can't you spare anyone?" She sounded desperate.

"Not at this time."

"That isn't good enough, people are dying Luke!"

"Leia, I have urgent business on Shili. I received the message only hours ago and I must leave; I need to see an old friend, she has sensed this new pull in the Force also. It's been building stronger and together we may find answers. Time is of the essence, she grows weak and will become one with the Force any day."

"Could I take Ben, at least?" Leia pleaded.

"Ben is needed here, you know this." Luke said simply and got to his feet. "As soon as I return, I will investigate myself; I promise."

The vision slipped from his mind like water and he became aware once again of his surroundings. Relief and apprehension swirled inside him in equal measure. They didn't know about him or his connection with the First Order... they didn't know what they were dealing with. But Luke was going to meet with another Force-sensitive. It would seem they both kept secrets from each other because he had never heard Luke speak of a friend on Shili. Ben lept from the rafter and tore down the winding corridor toward his personal quarters. He needed to be ready for Luke when he came to inform him of his departure. The storm was building and he could hear the splattering of rain against the dark window panes interspersed with the crack of thunder.

He was aware of the small group following him at a distance and he slowed his steps to allow them to catch up with him.

"Ben, wait a moment."

He rounded on group so quickly that they froze in the dark. He closed the distance between them and his voice quieted to a whisper. "Were you born without a brain?" He hissed.

Ceros, the young Mirialan who had called out to him, went pale and stammered. "We're alone-"

"Don't be a child, we're never alone." Ben snapped angrily. He made eye contact with the three pursuers before him. They exuded a sickening uncertainty. "Your blatant stares did not go unnoticed by my mother, she knows that there is something wrong… what if she voices her fears to Skywalker?" He asked the small group. He suppressed his rage and cleared his mind, he shouldn't be snapping at them, they were nervous.

The three young men were quiet and exchanged guilty glances with each other.

"What is she doing here?" The tall Nautolan named Seginus, asked. He was nearest Ben in age and had the most sense of the three.

"She'll be leaving shortly and that is all that matters." Ben answered his friend. There was no reason to worry them with the discovery of the First Order's involvement in the general's visit. They were worked up enough already and the younger two, Ceros and Cultec, were liable to give them all away with their jumpiness and unresting eyes.

"Do you think they know?" Cultec, the Rodian, asked while tapping his fingers together in unease.

"They know nothing." Ben said in a firm and reassuring tone. His fellow students did not look convinced. "She will be leaving, along with Skywalker. The storm will interfere with subspace transmissions and we will be able to take our leave in relative silence. The storm will give us time before anyone can communicate with Skywalker to alert him of our uncleared departure."

They were silent.

"We don't have spare time. Skywalker will come to me before dinner to announce his departure and I must be ready. Collect your things, we will meet in the mess." Ben ordered. They nodded in consensus and turned to leave. Ben sensed an odd conviction from them but passed it off as nervous uncertainty. "Ceros, Cultec," The younger boys looked over their shoulders at Ben. "...calm yourself, everything will go as planned… if you keep your heads." Ben held their collective gaze, "You understand?" He asked.

They both nodded and continued on their way to collect their things. Ben watched after them until they were swallowed by the shadows before he continued on his way. When he drew even with his door he paused before entering. He felt something was wrong but he couldn't narrow it down to any particular reason. He shrugged the feeling away and disappeared into the small room where he sat in quiet meditation.

Ben felt Luke's approach long before he heard the polite tap against his door.

"Come in." Ben called. The door opened and his uncle stepped into the small space. Ben sat expectantly on his mat and looked up to the older man.

"I take my leave, the academy is under your watch." Luke said, folding his hands into the sleeves of his robe. "I should be gone only a short while."

Ben bowed his head in understanding. "Has my mother left?"

"I'm afraid she has. She was quite eager to take you with her." Luke informed with a restrained smile.

"My place is here." Ben said. "Who else would look after this place in your absence?" Ben asked jokingly.

Luke's features became serious and he walked to the small window. "When I return, I would like to take you through the Jedi Trials." He informed. The news was quite to Ben's surprise and it cut through his jovial remark. The shock must have shown on his face. "You have long been ready, Ben. My selfish fondness for you can no longer delay your departure from this academy."

Ben stood from his mat, suddenly serious, and bowed respectfully. "Thank you master."

Skywalker placed a fatherly hand on Ben's shoulder and smiled. "I'll be back as soon as it is possible and then I will take you to make your lightsaber." He turned to leave. "May the Force be with you."

"May the Force be with you."

Luke left the room leaving the door open behind him. Ben looked over to the astromech droid in the corner and sighed. His heart and mind were pounding and he collapsed back to his mat and ran his hands over his face in frustration. If Luke had offered him graduation eight months ago he would have been thrilled; but it didn't matter now, the offer had come too late and ruminating on the topic would do him no good.

Ben had few possessions worth taking with him, he planned only on taking R9 and his lightsaber. It would be unnecessary to pack clothes, as more appropriate attire and other essential items would be provided when they arrived at the coordinates in the Unknown Regions. The coordinates in question had been placed inside his R9 unit for safe keeping. Ben lay on his mat and listened to the rumbling storm outside until he felt Luke's presence fade into nothingness. Once he felt Luke had gone he pulled his hands from his face and addressed the yellow and white droid. "R9." The astromech turned its optical center to focus on him and bleeped merrily. "Go to the Mu-2 Shuttle, I want you to run her through pre-flight checks and wait for me." Ben ordered the droid. It beeped assent and began to roll from the room. "R9." Ben stopped the droid and it looked up at him expectantly. "My lightsaber, before you go." Ben held his hand out to the droid, who rolled over to him while it opened its storage drawer, removed the black hilt, and placed it into his master's waiting palm. Ben stood and considered the droid before him while he clipped the lightsaber onto his belt. "Thank you, R9." He patted the domed head of the astromech affectionately. "You can go, I'll meet you there. I have one last thing I need to do." Ben watched the droid leave the room and coast down the corridor, once the droid rolled around the corner at the end of the hall, Ben made his way in the opposite direction.

Skywalker's office was one level above the student's personal quarters. The room had a large window that overlooked the courtyard that was used for sparring. A large shelf obscured the far wall with an impressive collection of holobooks, most of which were historical, and a humble desk stood in the center of the space. Ben closed the door behind himself and began to sift through the contents of the office. He allowed the Force to guide him as his hands eased slowly over the bookshelf. The collection that passed beneath his palms were not what he was searching for, so Ben turned to the wooden desk and slid open each of the drawers in turn. Their contents were unremarkable. Ben pushed his growing sense of frustration and anger away from him and thought hard about where Skywalker would keep the Force-sensitive Registry. The conclusion he came to colored his mood with irritation. His uncle would have given the list to R2-D2. Ben knew that the droid was with his father, he remembered Luke mentioning that to him. Han Solo had need of the droid and Luke had loaned it to him only last week. He remembered being disappointed but unsurprised that his father hadn't stopped long enough to wait for his return from a supply run in the village before taking off.

"Fuck." Ben exhaled into the emptiness and slammed his fist against the desk in his frustration. He was sure he was right, R2 held the list, but to be thorough he searched through the small cabinets that stood on either side of the window. There was nothing there. He left the office and made his way to the mess to gather Seginus, Ceros, and Cultec. They needed to track down his father and retrieve the list from R2 and he didn't know how long it would take them to do so. There was a building sense of urgency in him as he wound through the academy. It was troubling, Ben knew that it wasn't his own, he quickened his pace. A scream stabbed the air above the pitch of rain and thunder, the sound made Ben's blood ran cold. He reached out to the others with his mind as he ran toward the mess. Terror and panic ripped through the Force but none replied. The scream had come from the direction of the mess hall and as he grew nearer he could discern a terrible uproar of shouts. He rounded the final corner leading to the mess and the sight that met him forced the air from his chest and made his pace falter.

Ben could feel a darkness claw violently within him as he came even with a figure he recognized; she lay unmoving on the floor. He felt nothing but emptiness where there used to be light. She was dead. His blood pounded distractingly against his eardrums and he became painfully aware of his mounting anger. This wasn't supposed to happen. They were supposed to collect the list and return to the Supreme Leader, Ben had never planned a fight. He pulled the black hilt from his belt and looked at the large closed door ahead; beyond which the shouts and screams still sounded. Ben stepped over the the girl's body and threw his hand out before him, willing the doors to open. In his unbridled rage, the doors splintered and flew inward. The wood soared like shrapnel into the chaos of the mess. The cries and shouts and terror wrenched through him. Ben saw the blur of three red lightsabers snapping wickedly against green and blue. Blood splattered the floor and more familiar faces lay with unseeing eyes. Bodies broken and bleeding, he counted seven dead.

Not knowing what he would do but filled with a desire for the senseless violence to cease, Ben raised his hand and wrenched the twisting, living essence of the bodies in the large space. Everything froze and silence fell upon the room. If the storm was audible, he did not hear it over the pounding in his eardrums. The wealth of strength he found within himself, within this darkness, was intoxicating and frightening. He could feel the pulse of every heart beating and every labored breath beneath his hold. He shook with the effort to maintain control, this power was unrefined and fueled by his anger and grief. Ben knew he was not the master of the power, quite the opposite this power was master of him. He could feel the thin capillaries of his nose break under the strain to hold the room still, and his eyes drifted over his three brothers. They stared frightfully at him, they had never seen him lose control like this before. Ben released them and spat blood to the stone floor.

"Have you taken leave of your senses?" he hissed at the three. Ben extended his arms, gesturing around the mess hall. "They have nothing to do with us." He shouted. Ben released the other academy students with his words and they collapsed weakly to the floor. He watched with regret as some reached for their extinguished training sabers while others cried or shrank back against the wall with accusing glares. Hate permeated the space, replacing the panic that had been overwhelming moments before. Ben closed his eyes, took a steadying breath, and demanded of the room at large. "Explain yourselves."

A woman's voice cut through the silence. "Traitor." The word stabbed like a knife. Ben knew the voice belonged to a human girl, Katya, and he turned to find her standing amongst the youngest of students, shielding them. She had tears streaming down her angry face and she pointed an accusing finger at him. "You are Master Luke's nephew, how could you, of all people, turn to the Dark Side…" she sobbed. "You were meant to be his successor, a champion of the Light." Ben knew the friendship that they had shared over the last decade was broken, he felt no trace of her usual warmth… only hatred, grief, and betrayal. Ben noticed how she clutched her side and saw a growing red stain on her sand colored tunic. The younglings behind her wailed in terror and pulled at the hem of her tunic. He was trying hard to think of a way to salvage this situation but a solution wasn't forthcoming.

"This wasn't supposed to happen." Ben stated. He took a step closer to her.

Katya recoiled from his approach and backed the younglings against the stone wall behind her. "Stay away from me." She demanded, "Stay away from all of us." She thrust her free hand to the blasted and splintered door. "Go, and never come back!"

"We can't let them leave! They've murdered Atriar, Yestha, Dracko, Pleione! Who knows who else!" Sanssal, a Twi'lek male close to Ben in age roared. He ignited the blue training saber and held it steadily before him. Others echoed his actions and soon a hum filled the room. The occupants divided, academy students that were able ran to join each other, leaving Ben, Seginus, Ceros, and Cultec on the other end.

This is how it would be, then. Ben scanned the faces slowly and met the eyes of each former friend. He knew all of their faces, names, strengths and weaknesses, fears and aspirations. Despite this, there was no familiarity now, this room was filled with strangers. He didn't think he knew even Seginus, Ceros, and Cultec anymore. They were drunk on power, even now they gripped the hilts of their lightsabers and shot threatening glances at the others. He knew none of them and a new rage began to bleed through him. He caught the steady gaze of Seginus and he saw nothing but blood-lust reflected in his deep black orbs. In that moment he realized that he had been foolish to believe that they could leave peacefully. He had willfully ignored the signs, hadn't he only an hour ago felt the stirrings of this treachery. At the time he hadn't recognized the sensation, but his ignorance had allowed this slaughter. This was his doing and there would be no redeeming himself.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by Ceros's voice. "They are our enemy now!" The Mirialan spat. "We will prove ourselves worthy of the Supreme Leader's teachings." The tumultuous frenzy of thoughts around him swarmed in a disorienting way, the feeling of it was deafening but Ben forced himself to narrow his focus to the three he planned to take leave with from Yavin 4. He felt trepidation and mounting distrust growing between them, if he didn't make his allegiance known quickly he would belong nowhere. He could never belong to the academy again, that much was clear, and if the faces of Seginus, Ceros, and Cultec were any indication of what lay ahead on this path to the darkness, he would never belong with the First Order.

Nausea twisted in his stomach and an odd feeling of detachment flooded over him as his grip tightened over the ignition of his own lightsaber, the bloody red bathed him in it's light and he saw utter horror wash over the once familiar faces of the academy. The trum-woosh of three other blades split the air and the chorused hum vibrated in his bones. The older students readied themselves, their training sabers were held out defensively and they stood firmly on their ground. Ben dug deep in himself to find the darkness he had come to know, but he found only a perversion of the darkness greeted him. This wasn't the true way of the Dark side, but it was the only option left open to him. Ben couldn't afford to have Seginus, Ceros, and Cultec question his conviction. He was the first to engage the academy.

Sanssal, a peer who Ben had always respected, was the first to lock blades with him. Their lightsabers spit and snapped with every blow. Ben knew from years of sparring that Sanssal had a dangerous habit of leaving his right shoulder vulnerable so he parried and struck out to encourage the lapse in concentration that always ended in an opening in his guard. It finally happened as a second student met Cultec in the duel. Ben swung his blade in a flurry of light and cut diagonally down through Sanssal's shoulder. He screamed in agony, briefly lowering his blade in shock. Ben took the opportunity to end the fight and knocked the training blade from his opponent's hand and throw him to his knees. It took only two seconds to muster the resolve to finish him. It was enough time to see the hope leave Sanssal's eyes to be replaced with loathing. Ben's crackling blade came down and through the kneeling boy's throat. He was surprised at how easily the blade had sunk through his flesh but he wasn't given the opportunity to feel what he had just done. He was attacked again by a younger advisory and then time and faces passed in a swirl of color and sound.

When his blade plunged into the last cowering and weeping youngling the world came falling back into place. He guarded his complete sense of loss closely, he pulled together a mask of himself and forced his feelings down, instilling a sense of numbness and cold. He turned to the three others who had backed away from him in fear and took in the death that surrounded them. The deed had been done and now was the time to leave. He knew better than to collect the bodies and burn them respectfully. Without a word to the others, he deactivated his lightsaber and hooked it back to his belt. He strode past them, out the mess hall, out of the academy, and into the downpour. He didn't trust himself to confront the others. He wanted to kill them for their recklessness and disregard for life, and he would have killed them already if he had thought he could explain their deaths satisfactorily to his master; but he knew he could not.

The Mu-2 shuttles engines were rumbling and the loading ramp was down. Ben climbed inside and strode to the cockpit. He ignored the greeting of R9, began programming their flight trajectory to Dantooine, and waited for the others. They weren't long, and none spoke when Ben eased the shuttle from the dock and exited the atmosphere.

None questioned him when he exited hyperspace three hours after their departure and set the shuttle down in a bustling city on Dantooine. None asked why they were there and why he was leaving them, and none questioned him when he returned hours later with a holodisc in one hand and his lightsaber in the other. None questioned him again… no one but himself.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Author's Notes:

Hello all! I'm very sorry about the long wait for this update; obviously a chapter each week didn't happen. I'm back to working full time and I can't seem to find the spare time I'd like for writing. Additionally, this chapter was a difficult one to compose because it introduces us to some characters that have yet to be introduced in the films but are certainly influential and a large part of Kylo Ren's life. I want this story to be pretty tight and make sense as an advancement of plot from The Force Awakens. Unfortunately they didn't give us much to go on so I've had to take a lot of liberty.

Thank you to everyone who has read, followed, favorited, and most especially reviewed… you guys are awesome and light up my day!


	9. Ancestry

Shortly after their misunderstanding and following Kylo's breakdown, the pair settled into a comfortable pattern of meditation and Force awareness training in the following days. Kylo had entrusted her with the blue lightsaber which she now carried clipped to her belt. Kylo had said it was for her protection and that he didn't want a repeat of the rancor attack, but Rey felt through his words and found his true feelings. It had been a peace offering. Kylo spent their evenings educating Rey on the history of the Sith, of the general failings of the practice, and also shared information about the First Order and it's inner workings.

When the weather was agreeable they would hike out of their secluded cavern and up into the exposed outcroppings along the mountainside to meditate and practice Force awareness techniques. Kylo started Rey off slow with Force manipulation, he threw pebbles at her for her to divert or stop before they hit her painfully. Rey graduated quickly to larger rocks and even plasma shots from a blaster; although she was not as practiced as Kylo she had become accomplished with moving and halting objects using the Force. Impressed awe or wonder would flow from him and into her senses when she picked up a new skill or showed surprising mastery in such short time. He had confided in her one evening after a particularly grueling day that it had taken him years to master these skills, and that he couldn't have hoped for a better, more talented, and competent student.

The second week yielded healed ribs and intensive sparring. Kylo insisted on a hands-on approach to lightsaber training, unlike Luke, who had taught her forms that she practiced by herself. Kyo taught with increasingly more aggression than master Luke had. She often found herself thinking that he did everything with more aggression than her former master, it was easy for her to forget that the two shared blood.

It was easy to forget a lot of things around Kylo Ren. Time was slipping away from her like sand through her fingers. It was difficult to fathom that in only two more rotations they would be rejoining the First Order and she would be taken before the Supreme Leader. After Kylo had told her more about the shadowed character, her fear gripped her chest with steadily more strain, she had come a long way in her training, but the one thing she seemed to have difficulty with was her mind and it's solidity. Rey had hardly improved since their first practice and with each passing day Kylo had become increasingly anxious about her ability to withstand even the slightest attempt from Snoke or the other knights to read her.

If she hadn't gotten to know his mind so well over the past two weeks she would have missed the repressed anxiety in his gloved hands as they slid gently around her waist. His breath puffed warm against the shell of her ear distractingly and she let him feel her irritation at his blatant interruption of her focus, but in doing so she allowed him past her guard and his presence flooded into her. Again.

His seething thoughts, which contrasted greatly with his countenance, permeated her skull. "You'll be far more distracted than this when we reach Malachor."

Rey had enough of his snide remarks for one day. "Snoke won't be running his hands over my body, trying to seduce me." She threw back before shoving him with her mind once more and he left without a fight.

Kylo placed open mouthed kisses along her neck and pulled her closer against his chest, her concentration wavered, she felt her control of the massive rock lessen. "No, I've done that for him." Kylo agreed wickedly. The heat of his breath against her neck and his exploring touch made her tremble and she became acutely aware of his hard chest pressed against her back and a familiar desire bloom inside her. Damn him. The boulder fell back to the red earth. "You won't last a day on Malachor." He said disapprovingly, his hands dipped lower and his fingers played at the rust colored tunic she wore. His hands caressed the skin stretched across her abs. "Lift the rock again." He instructed quietly against her ear as one hand worked its way beneath the waist of her pants; the advance shattered her fragile composure.

Since they had set out at dawn he had been taunting her and she had enough. Rey threw his hands from her bitterly and turned around, shoving him hard in the chest as she stepped away. He didn't look the least bit offended by her reaction. Fury burned through her flesh and licked wildly against his dark consciousness. At this moment she despised the effect he had on her and she cursed every sinew of her body because of its longing for him. He was trying to arouse her, had weaponized his ability to light her body in flames, and she hated that he had finally succeeded. The smug and knowing expression that graced his features only furthered her anger. "What's the point of this?!" She yelled. "I thought you were supposed to be teaching me the Dark Side."

"The point of this exercise is to teach you control, something you desperately lack." He stalked back to her, all smugness and teasing gone. "I know what I'm doing, you have to trust me. Now, again, and don't allow me to distract you. Our lives depend on your ability to keep others from of your mind." Rey's chest heaved in her frustration because he was right, but she would never be able to ignore him; to focus her concentration on only the boulder as he so expertly awoke a desire for him so deep inside herself. The moment she gave in to his distraction he plunged easily into her mind, taking the momentary lapse in focus to pluck curiously at a childhood memory or scold her for her continued failure. Already he had seen more painful and lonely memories than she cared to acknowledge. "Again." He commanded. "I swear I won't touch you."

She believed him, but didn't relax, she knew he was planning something worse. Rey released her frustration in a long exhale and for the hundredth time that day she lifted her hands to levitate the colossal stone. It rose a meter from the ground and held steady in defiance of gravity. She could sense him watching her and feel the static of him testing her mental barriers. "Higher." Kylo insisted. A shiver ran down her spine, he had been standing nearer than she had thought. She did as he asked and willed the boulder further from the ground. "Good." He said. He strode into her line of sight and paced toward the stone. Rey gasped when he ducked under the boulder and sat crossed legged beneath it.

"Stop it. This isn't a game." She told him sternly.

Kylo merely met her gaze and remained still. Then, without warning he tore violently at her mind, he assailed her mind the same way he had when they first met, it was more painful than she had remembered. His mind stabbed like icy knives, the attack tore a cry from her throat and made her arms shake alarmingly. She couldn't think straight but through the fog and stabbing she felt her control over the boulder slip terrifyingly. She was thankful that her mind stayed her own, she was able to keep the boulder under her influence but she knew she couldn't for much longer. Her heart pounded and fear stole over her. Rey's cry morphed into a desperate scream as she demanded, "Get out from under there! Now!" Her mental walls were breaking as she focused on levitating the stone.

"If you cannot fend me off, then I have failed you, and deserve this death." He said softly. She could feel his resolve, he wouldn't move.

"Stop it!" Rey screamed, tears rolled down her face and the boulder slipped further. She sucked in a terrified gulp of air and forced her mind to pull the stone away from him, to throw it to the side, to end his madness… but it remained firm despite her will. She spared a moment for confusion before she saw that Kylo had lifted his own hand and held the boulder in place. Terror was bubbling up inside her chest now, she didn't have the strength to keep the stone from slipping.

 _"I can see into your mind Rey, correct this at once."_

 _"I can't."_

 _"You will expel me from your mind, you will keep me out and you will not waver in your control."_

She wanted to hurt him for forcing her to do this, for placing himself so willingly into danger, but she wanted him safe. With a great effort she pushed against his consciousness. The boulder sank lower as she did so but she redoubled her effort and forced the stone upward once more. He was still there, she felt him regaining his hold, he was relentless and Rey considered that he may be crazy. She knew then that he wouldn't move from his place, that he would attack her mind until she kept him out or failed. Her failure wasn't an option anymore. She drew strength from her anger at him now and pressed it's molten energy back against him, it forced him out. She only had time to re-strengthen her control over the boulder and slam up her guard once more before his attack came back to her. Rey sobbed in distress, falling to her knees but retaining control of the stone that hovered dangerously over Kylo. Even though he may deserve it, she could never forgive herself if she killed Kylo Ren. I love him. The thought sent a curious wave of emotion over her. I love him?

The thought was more terrifying than the situation he had forced her into but she knew at once that the thought was true, troubling though it was. Clarity rose within her, and she felt the pulse of the man sitting resolutely before her. The stabbing pain of his assault on her mind was numbed and the boulder suddenly felt light and manageable. She was surprised but held onto the thought that had given her strength. She loved him. The realization sent power coursing through her veins. She was overcome by the desire to crumble the stone that hung threateningly over him so she twisted her hand over and slowly tightened her grip. The resulting crack in the stone split the air with a sickening crunch and the boulder calved cleanly in half. Rey released both halves, allowing them to fall with finality to the ground on either side of Kylo Ren. She wasn't sure what possessed her to slap him, but she followed through with urge and he did nothing to stop her.

"Don't ever do that to me again." She raged.

Kylo looked up at her with tension in his jaw and an unapologetic expression. "I promise I won't." His words twisted with a tangible regret that didn't mark his face. He reached up and took her hand in his and at his touch, Rey couldn't stop her tears from falling, she collapsed before him among the crumbled stone and red dirt. He reached for her, to pull her into his lap and she gave him no resistance, busy wiping away tears with her sleeve. She leaned into his chest and felt his arms close securely around her. He placed an adoring kiss on her damp cheek. "You did well."

"I hate you." She breathed, curling her fingers into the thick fabric of his cowl robe and willing away her embarrassing tears. He brought his hand to her chin and gently tipped her face up to met his gaze. His eyes were black in the dimming light.

"We both know that to be false." He said simply. Rey felt his warmth pour over her. Kylo closed his eyes and brought his lips down to hover over her own. She swallowed dryly and closed her eyes in anticipation. Rey felt his mental armour come crashing down, she felt the light in him swell beautifully around her and she grasped at it firmly. Kylo hadn't shown her this since their first night on Dathomir. He kissed her gently and stroked his thumb along her jaw and down her neck. It was easy to forget the burning of her lungs when his lips were against hers. When they parted for air he pulled away from her eager attempts to reclaim him and fixed her with serious expression. Rey's skin turned to gooseflesh, she could feel his feelings for her float to the surface and could sense a confession forming on his tongue.

~)o(~

Color blossomed over her cheeks and her lips parted in alarm. She pressed a quick finger to his lips; lips that had been ready to murmur a personal truth but now drew together tightly. "Don't." He creased his brow and looked at her incredulously as her finger retreated and she explained. "We can't say that."

Her words flew like daggers into his heart and his temper rose to the surface. "It isn't in my nature to repress my emotions."

She pressed an apologetic kiss against his cheek and wrapped her arms around his neck. "It isn't safe."

Kylo turned into her hair and breathed the smell of her in, she smelled like dust, sweat, mountain air, and something else that was distinctly Rey. "Nothing is or ever will be safe." He informed after weighing her sentiment and tangling his fingers in her hair. Skywalker's teachings were difficult to dislodge, she was still so like the Jedi in her caution.

"Ben, we can't." She said with desperate finality. Her reply was irritating and prickled his senses.

" 'Not safe' and 'I can't' have never been acceptable reasons for any action or inaction." Kylo pulled away from her embrace and held her at arm's length. He could see her point of view, it would be safer to remain silent, but his own power would be stifled if he didn't give voice to his growing feelings for her. "I love you." He watched her expression closely and felt uncertainty color her emotions.

Her eyes were soft when she shook her head . "No one has told me that before." Kylo sensed the internal struggle playing out beyond her gaze. She was scared.

He couldn't ask more from her than her acceptance. "I don't expect you to return the sentiment."

"I'm not ready." She admitted shyly and still afraid. He was ready to accept her silence and nodded in understanding.

"We need to get back to the shuttle, it's nearly dark." He stated. They both got back to their feet.

He could tell Rey was uncomfortable as they proceeded back along the game trail they had followed that morning. They walked in relative silence until the trail connected with the stream and they followed the water's edge, working against the current. Kylo was considering what best to say to Rey to ease the tension that had grown between them, but she broke the silence first.

"Will I be kept with you when we are retrieved or will I be kept in a new cell?" Her voice was steady but he felt her pulsing apprehension.

"It remains to be seen." Kylo answered truthfully. He had also given thought to her lodging once on Malachor. "What would you prefer?" He inquired with interest.

She was busy shifting a branch out of their path. Kylo ducked under the foliage and they continued their walk. As he was beginning to think she wouldn't answer he felt her hand brush against his and her fingers slipped between his own. "I think you know what I'd prefer."

He tightened his hold on her hand and didn't let go. She didn't seem to mind. "I will see what can be done."

R9 had been sent into a village to gather supplies including food as the shuttle was only stocked for two weeks of inhabitation. Kylo was pleased to see the droid had made it's way back without trouble. They showered, changed into more comfortable attire, and took dinner in the lounge. The meal was of little consequence to himself, having experienced the fare often, but Rey marveled at the freeze dried vegetables and meat. She picked hesitantly at the rehydrated food. "It isn't poison." He teased, taking a bite of the small green podded vegetables. He wasn't sure exactly what they were but they were certainly better than the standard military rations that they had become accustomed to. Rey gave him an unamused expression and brought her fork to her mouth. Her eyes closed as she began to chew and he felt delight come clearly through the Force. He hadn't expected to find watching her enjoy something so simple would bring a smile to his long dispirited face.

"Didn't you have anything like this on Jakku?" He asked when she began taking hurried mouthfulls of the vegetables.

She swallowed quickly and answered while stabbing more of the little pods. "No, only nutrition portions." She took another large bite of the food and hummed happily. "This is a thousand times better."

"This is considered almost inedible on Corellia." Kylo said, taking another bite.

"Is that where you were born?" Rey asked, pausing her brisk consumption of food to give him her full attention.

"Yes." It had been his father's home world also. He tried to conceal his building sadness as he thought of Corellia, but Rey seemed to know his feelings. Kylo began eating again, not making eye contact with her. For a while the only sound was the clinking of silverware.

"I don't know where I was born."

He looked away from his plate at her words. "You never asked your parents?" He felt a deep sadness fill her and before she answered he realized his mistake.

"I never knew my parents." She put her fork down. "My earliest memory is of their ship flying away."

Kylo had seen the memory she spoke of while he pushed her to her limits today. "Would you like to know?" He asked seriously.

"I want to know why they never came back for me." She answered sorrowfully.

"We could look together. Beginning tonight if you wish."

"How would we do that?"

"Farseeing. We could use the practice anyway, we may as well use the practice to accomplish something important to you."

Kylo felt hope bubble up in her sadness. "Alright."

They finished their meals quickly. He collected the used trays from the table and headed to the galley. "I'll meet you in your room after I've cleaned these."

He could feel her mounting tension as he washed the trays, but he spent his time alone considering the best way to approach finding Rey's parents. The only way he saw was beginning with her only memory of them, or at least what she thought was them.

She was laying on the bed waiting for him and he happily joined her on the mattress. He unclipped his belt and lay it and his lightsaber on the small bed-side table.

"How do we start?" She asked, unsure.

"Lets begin with your earliest memory." He felt her uncertainty and took her hand in his own. "Take me there." He found her familiarity in the Force and pressed his consciousness against hers with practiced exactitude and met no resistance as he entered her mind.

 _"I've never done this before." Her voice floated to him._

 _"No. But I have… I'll guide you." He pulled her with him as he found the oldest of her memories. "I can't enter without you. I want to to recall as many of the emotions you experienced during this moment. Let them fill you, and then focus past them, you will know where and when to go. Take your time."_

 _A loneliness he was pointedly familiar with clawed at his senses and a burning pressed against his eyes. He was aware of Rey beside him. She was trembling. The last physical act he was aware of was grasping her hand. He was lost, drowning in her confusion, terror, and abandonment. The emotion she was driving through them was complete, it was time to seek past the emotion and orient themselves with the intended location and time. A dark fog clouded the space before them and a glow came to life in the haze. It grew steadily before them, stretching out and around them. The consuming sense of abandonment vanished. The fog cleared and Kylo knew immediately where they were. It wasn't Jakku._

 _Stale air stifled the enclosed space, lights winked through the viewport and three young men inhabited the space. He didn't want Rey to see this. He didn't want to see this, once was enough. Kylo pushed against the vision of his past but they remained firm._

 _"Where are we?" He felt her question more than heard it._

 _"We are on Dantooine, I had just-" He was distracted by his younger self, who had stepped purposefully into the cockpit. He felt Rey's curiosity and subsequent surprise._

 _"I pictured you differently."_

 _"What were you expecting?"_

 _"Someone less… careworn."_

 _Kylo didn't respond. He was looking at his younger self with regret. There were so many things he would do differently if he had them to do again. He saw the holodisk Ben clutched with whitened knuckles, at the hollowness in his eyes, and the beginnings of resolve forming in his heart. He had just confronted his father aboard the Millennium Falcon. The long argument and following conversation had given Ben new purpose._

 _There was no hiding their emotions from each other in this place and Rey's curiosity swelled against his feelings of regret._

 _"This is the day I murdered Ben." Kylo explained to her in a detached way._

 _Ben clipped his lightsaber to his belt and sat purposefully in the pilot's seat. The three others shared significant glances behind his back but were silent. Ben slipped the holodisk into his tunic and began to enter coordinates into the navigation. R9 bleeped in a low tone from the navigation dial and began to spin the dial to configure a route through hyperspace. Ben pressed an ignition sequence into the dash and took the yoke of the shuttle in his grasp. The shuttle shook as it departed the dock; they escaped the atmosphere and were in hyperspace illuminated by the flashes of light that streaked past the main viewport._

 _Ben turned in his chair to face the others. Their faces were a mixture of relief and hollowness. "What happened?" Ben demanded darkly, looking the three. None began to explain themselves. Ben threw his fist against the dash and the three young men jumped at the unexpected rage._

 _Seginus shifted in his seat and Ben's eyes snapped to the Nautolan. "The academy was a threat to the First Order." Seginus stated calmly. "We would have left behind an army of enemies had we not acted. Instead we left victorious."_

 _"You think slaughtering younglings left us victorious? Skywalker will seek justice for the massacre. Supreme Leader wanted us to steal the Force-sensitive list, not anger the Jedi master and alert the New Republic of his aims. Our master will be displeased, he has no use for loose canons."_

 _Cultec folded his arms defensively across his chest. "You had an equal hand in this."_

 _"That was an unsanctioned departure from our plan. It was unnecessary and has endangered our objective. You will never act without my approval again." The three made as though they were going to argue the point; but Ben threw his hand out and they clutched at their throats, gasping. "I am in charge, do you understand?"_

 _"We should go, we won't find your parents here." Kylo told a horrified Rey. He also felt sick watching as Ben strangle his companions; although they deserved it, it was difficult to see again. He willed the vision away, and felt Rey also begin to push from the vision. Fog swirled around them once more and the scene faded into blackne_ ss.

"Why did assist in the slaughter? You could have stopped it, you could have left." She asked quite suddenly.

"I didn't realize I had any other choice."

Rey was considering his words. "Why did Snoke want that list?'

"We used the list to identify and locate promising individuals to be brought up in the way of Sith. We ended up with three."

"How many were on that list?"

"Hundreds." Ben confessed, unable to shield his feeling of loss.

"What happened to the others?" Rey asked. Kylo felt a sickness twist within her that mirrored his own.

"Upon returning to the academy, and seeing what we had done, finding what we had taken, Luke warned many of the families. A lucky few escaped into hiding."

"And the others?"

"They were tracked down and dest… killed."

Kylo pulled himself from Rey's mind and lay still beside her. His hand was still holding hers. In their stillness the lights had turned off and they were in total darkness. Kylo was keenly aware of Rey's buzzing mind. She had many questions but was mercifully keeping them to herself.

"Why did we end up in your past and not mine?"

"I'm uncertain. Farseeing is a useful but often uncontrollable process. We will try again in the morning."

"You were lonely and afraid." She suggested, "Possibly quite as much as I was in my memory. Maybe we saw your past because you are more attuned with the Force."

It was an interesting thought, but he didn't think that was the case. "You are far more interwoven in the Force than myself." He made to get up and leave her to her thoughts, it was late.

"Will you lay here with me for a while longer?" She asked.

"...yes." He agreed against his better judgment.

They lay enjoying the others quiet company.

Kylo focused on the sensation of her mind swimming with emotions and drifted into a light sleep; and awoke with sweat slicked skin and twisted sheets around his waist. He was startled by an unexpected movement to his left. Kylo reacted instinctively, grasping for his lightsaber, as his hand closed around the hilt the shifting sheets murmured groggily.

"Ben?"

He cursed himself and released the hilt. It was only Rey. He had fallen asleep beside her. He had, until tonight, slept on the sofa in the lounge owing to his recurring night-terrors. Kylo threw his legs over the edge of the mattress and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He should leave, his nightmares shouldn't interrupt her sleep also. "I didn't mean to fall asleep, I apologize." He heard Rey shift behind him.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes, I'll go." He began to get up but her small hands found his back and her palpable disappointment made him still.

"Stay." She whispered.

"You need to rest and that will be made difficult with my restlessness."

"I wake up when you have nightmares, regardless of where you sleep."

That was surprising. "I didn't realize-"

"You should stay." She cut him off. "You can tell me about them, if you want." Rey offered kindly.

Kylo made his opinion of the notion obvious to her through the Force, his dreams weren't up for discussion. He heard Rey moving beneath the blankets and felt the mattress sink. She wrapped tired arms around his chest and pressed her lips against his shoulder.

"Come back under the covers."

He wasn't inclined to deny her request; he pulled himself back under the blankets. Her happiness and something less innocent was made clear when he lay beside her again. Rey trailed a hand down his chest and beneath his tunic, rubbing hot circles into his flesh, and she rested her head against his shoulder. It was wonderfully distracting and sent a spark of desire to his core. "Careful, we'll be up all night." He warned.

He felt her roused excitement when she pulled her hand away and climbed over him, straddled his hips. "I want you." She whispered, rocking her hips against him.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Author's Notes:

Thank you for everyone's patience for these updates! As always, a big thank you to everyone who has read, followed, favorited, and most especially reviewed!


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